Fanfic: Mingled -- Alicia/Kalinda -- Part 2
Mingled -- Part 2
Title: Mingled
Author: schwarmerei1
Rating: MA
Fandom: The Good Wife, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Characters: Alicia Florrick, Kalinda Sharma, Diane Lockhart, Peter Florrick, Eli Gold, Maddie Hayward, Elsbeth Tascioni, Veronica Loy, Lwaxana Troi, Beverly Crusher, Grace Florrick, Zach Florrick
Pairing: Alicia/Kalinda
Disclaimer: I mean no disrespect, CBS, Scott Free, and the Kings own them
Spoilers: Spoilers through episode 5:10 "The Decision Tree"
Part 1 can be found here
Kalinda had bought it as a joke. She'd even smuggled a bottle of tequila into Alicia's bathroom the night before and hidden it under the vanity. Her plan had been to walk into the bedroom, a negative test stick in one hand, booze in the other, and propose shots to celebrate.
Instead she looked at two lines inside the window. The key next to it helpfully confirmed two lines meant "pregnant". But it's a faint line she told herself, as if being a little bit pregnant made a difference. Then she realised that she was reading the test upside down: the control line was faint, the one that measured her hCG was dark and unequivocal.
Kalinda sank onto the lid of the toilet. Despite Alicia's warnings from folklore that it had occasionally happened, intellectually Kalinda had discounted the possibility. Although the fact that she had avoided alcohol for the last two weeks suggested that some part of her thought otherwise.
Her awareness of time passing was lost in the haze of new implications for her life -- for their life. Without either of them discussing it, Kalinda had effectively moved into Alicia's apartment, sleeping every night with her since Alicia's fever. But this -- a baby -- was a level she'd never imagined taking things to.
She must have been gone from bed for a long time because Alicia had never interrupted her in the bathroom before, but this morning she peered cautiously in the doorway.
"You okay?"
Kalinda could only mutely hold out the stick to Alicia.
Alicia took it. "Kalinda ..." Even though she had been the one to warn Kalinda, she couldn't believe it either. Alicia stumbled headfirst into a cliche, "Whatever you want to do, I'll ... "
"Alicia don't." Kalinda couldn't tell if she was feeling thrilled, horrified or both. Mostly she was aware of a growing feeling of nausea. Surely it was too soon for morning sickness!
"Look, it's just a test from a drug store. Who even knows if it's right?"
Alicia's words were reassuring, but Kalinda knew full well they were false and that home pregnancy tests were reliable. Nevertheless she replied, "Sure, nothing to panic about."
Alicia headed for her closet and began to pull on jeans and a sweater. "I'm going to get another brand."
Kalinda watched her depart, hair untidy and with no makeup. She wondered what the drug store clerk would make of the spectacle of a stressed-out woman in her forties buying a pregnancy test. Assume it was for a teenage daughter?
Alicia was back before Kalinda had enough time to do more than mechanically drink glasses of water and read the product insert that had come in the test box. The idea of having a child -- Alicia's child -- had Kalinda at a loss for what to feel.
Three different branded boxes clattered out of the paper bag in Alicia's hands onto the vanity.
Kalinda, a newly-minted expert in home pregnancy tests after her reading of the last ten minutes, warned, "We might get a false negative. It's supposed to be first morning urine."
Alicia looked flustered and tucked her hair behind one ear. "Um, well ... let's try another one anyway." Despite being in possession of an unplanned pregnancy twice before, experience wasn't smoothing her path, and she'd definitely never expected to be the father.
Kalinda looked incredulously at Alicia hovering over her. "There's no way I can do this with you in the room Alicia."
"Oh! Right." Alicia tried to hand Kalinda the box, dropping it in the process. "Sorry." Their heads nearly hit as they both leant down. "Sorry."
Kalinda set the box on her lap, and took Alicia's hands in hers. "It's going to be okay." Kalinda sounded convincing because she believed it. She'd known when she'd given herself to Alicia to solve the crisis of Pon Farr that she was committed -- that this was her one and only chance to make them a possibility and that too much was at stake for her to admit the possibility of them failing.
Despite Alicia leaving the room, Kalinda still felt under so much pressure she considered turning on a tap. But finally she mastered her bladder and set the stick down on the vanity. She didn't have to wait three minutes to see the second line appear, just as vivid as the first time.
She found Alicia in the kitchen. "It's for real."
Alicia swallowed and looked longingly at a bottle of red on the counter. "I want a glass of wine, but I guess I should quit for solidarity's sake."
"God Alicia, have your wine." Kalinda was adamant, nine in the morning be damned. "There's no way we'll survive the next eight months with you unmedicated."
+++++++
"Alicia, Kalinda. Two of my favourite people. Have a seat." Elsbeth walked around the desk. "Oh! Not that one!"
Kalinda halted her downward motion.
"The one over there is ... safer."
Kalinda sat. Carefully.
Alicia watched as Elsbeth settled herself and then reached for a pen, upsetting several tchotchkes in the process. It was disconcerting to consult Elsbeth in an office ... with carpet, walls, an actual desk. She half-expected ceiling tiles to come crashing down. Something ...
"What can I do for ..." Elsbeth paused, pursed her lips. "Wait, don't you two work for different firms now? Which of you is the client?"
"I am." Alicia looked over at Kalinda. "It's a personal matter."
"Okay!" replied Elsbeth cheerfully.
"I need a divorce." Alicia paused briefly. "Quickly."
"Wow! How exciting." Elsbeth turned to Kalinda. "Marriage breakdowns, so dramatic. I like that jacket -- leather, so buttery." Elsbeth snapped her head back to Alicia. "So a divorce. And in a hurry. Any particular reason?" She began to twist a lock of her too-red hair around her pen. "Not that it's my business, but it seems like you've had reason to cut him loose for a while."
Alicia drew a breath -- she was going to need to get accustomed to these questions. She took Kalinda's hand. "We're having a baby."
"Really?! I miss my kids being babies! Gosh they used to do the darndest things ... funnier than all those cats on YouTube."
"Yes, well ... we'd like to have the matter resolved in time for us to get married before the baby's born." Despite the fact that this was something they had decided together, the thought of starting over again (new life, new marriage, new child) with Kalinda still felt unreal much of the time.
"Awww, so sweet. That's next summer when gay marriage comes in, right? Two June brides -- so festive!" Elsbeth scratched something illegible on her legal pad. "So, who's the mommy? I mean of course you'll both be mommies ... You know I read a study somewhere about kids with two moms being better adjusted ..."
"Kalinda is pregnant." Alicia clarified, wondering if that would redirect Elsbeth's thoughts.
"So why do you need me? Sounds pretty straightforward. You can claim Peter's infidelity, no need to wait out a two-year separation then."
"It's more that we want it dealt with ... discreetly." Kalinda put it succinctly.
"I suppose governor's wife impregnates lesbian lover does make a juicy headline." Elsbeth joked. Then she saw the faces opposite her. "Wait, is that what happened?"
"We don't really know how it happened." Alicia told part of the truth.
"But there's not some guy that could be the father? Sorry, Kalinda -- kinda calling you slutty there."
Alicia wasn't sure why she was giving information on this subject. The circumstances of the conception weren't relevant to what they needed Elsbeth for. "No, there isn't a guy."
Elsbeth looked at Alicia then. Looked hard. "Did you go through pon farr?"
The surprise on Alicia's face was her answer.
"You’re one-eigth Vulcan, after all. It can happen. "
Kalinda lost all ability to retain her usual neutral expression, but then it wasn't every day that one found oneself apparently participating in an extra-terrestrial conspiracy.
"Not that it matters ..." Elsbeth declared. "Wow! I'm so glad you came through it okay!" She winked at Kalinda. "Must have been one hell of an experience for you! One of my friends in the Continuum told me this story he heard in a bar once and ..."
Alicia's brain ran rapidly through the lore her father had vested in her. "You're Q?"
"Well, technically I'm not allowed to discuss that under the terms of my study visa here on Earth." Elsbeth gestured grandly to the air and presumably the Continuum's version of the NSA. "Hey though, one good thing, since we're all friends ... that divorce won't be a problem."
Kalinda blinked, she was clearly missing something. "It won't?"
"Well I can't do this for human clients obviously -- causes questions, you know?" Elsbeth opened a folder on her desk. "So, Alicia, here areyour divorce papers all signed and enacted. And Peter remembers granting the divorce to you. And the court was fine with it. And the media didn't notice it going through." She paused dramatically, then winked. "Maddie Hayward doesn't remember walking in on you two in the ladies room either." Elsbeth pushed the documentation across the desk to Alicia. "I hope you invite me to the wedding!" she exclaimed in conclusion.
"Explain to me what just happened." Kalinda requested in bewilderment as they left the Tascioni offices and walked toward the elevator.
Alicia shrugged; she'd gone to Elsbeth expecting a novel solution to their delicate problem. Being omnipotent certainly explained a few things about Elsbeth's success as a lawyer.
"Alicia! Kalinda! Wait!" Elsbeth was running towards them. On reaching them she looked around in an exaggerated cloak-and-dagger manner to see if anyone could overhear them. "I know a good doctor."
"Oh, that would be helpful. The obstetrician that delivered Zach and Grace has retired." Alicia got out her phone to enter contact details.
"This one's great. She's so nice. You should see her hair! I wish I had hair like hers ..." Elsbeth got out her phone too. "Dr Crusher's her name, but everyone calls her Beverly. She's, uh, a good choice for your situation."
Kalinda raised her eyebrows. "What, same-sex couple friendly?"
"Oh yes, definitely! But no, just used to dealing with mixed species pregnancies."
Kalinda sometimes felt like she saw conspiracies everywhere, but apparently not enough. "Another alien?"
"Oh no -- silly!" Elsbeth punched Kalinda lightly on the arm. "Beverly's as human as you are. But she's from the future. She's here doing research on ancient healthcare systems. But her medical knowledge is totally up to date!" Elsbeth scrolled through her contact details and hit the share button. "There!" Then she frowned. "Well, I think I sent it ..."
+++++++
"Feeling more comfortable now?" There was something about Dr Crusher that exuded friendly reassurance. Probably old-fashioned bedside manner decided Kalinda as she climbed back onto the examining table. Everything at the moment seemed to be about her bladder, and holding all that water in for an hour had been testing.
"Sometimes I don't know why we put you through that in the early weeks. Even when you can see via the abdomen, transvaginal is much clearer."
Kalinda took the sheet she was being offered and draped it over herself, then tried to remove her underwear in as dignified a fashion as she could manage. She watched Beverly roll a condom over the long thin probe and squeeze on lubricant. No wonder they called it dildo-cam.
Beverly smiled apologetically as her blue eyes met Kalinda's. "It's usually more comfortable if you insert it yourself and then I'll guide it from there."
Kalinda was still finding this whole thing where people expected access to her body, privacy be damned, invasive. And trust me -- it gets worse, Alicia had told her. But Beverly was gentle and had welcomed the two women into the room without missing a beat.
Kalinda did as instructed, then found Alicia's eyes -- long fingers held her smaller ones and squeezed. She was only just beginning to be able to admit to herself how much this mattered. The unclear images from Beverly's attempt to scan her abdominally had thrown her. Their miracle was a one-shot deal. Even Alicia, who was trying to affect the attitude of someone who'd been through the whole pregnancy thing before, had agreed to a dating scan. They were both unable to wait-and-see for later ultrasounds even though there was no indication anything was wrong.
Beverly guided the wand with one hand and tapped controls with the other. "Congratulations. You have your dates right."
Alicia smothered a laugh. Given they had no idea when the first day of Kalinda's last period should have been, they'd just added two weeks to the date of "the night" and hoped it was close.
"Seven weeks and one day according to measurement." Beverly tapped numbers on her keyboard. "One foetus, safely in the uterus." Beverly zoomed in. "And look, that point flashing on and off is the heart. 110 beats per minute, just right for the age."
Kalinda swallowed with relief: not an ectopic, no blighted ovum that would never progress. What should have been biologically impossible was delightfully banal in its normalcy.
"And now that we've done the expected stuff to enter on your file here, just a few quick checks that are off-the-record." Beverly pulled a device out of her pocket, it looked like an early generation bulky cellphone. "Human/Vulcan pregnancies are surprisingly straightforward despite their different physiology, but it's always worth checking the genetics."
She extracted a small cylindrical probe and began to wave it above Kalinda's abdomen. "I'd advise you to stay away from chromosome testing like amniocentesis and CVS. It's invasive, carries a risk of miscarriage, and ..." Beverly paused to grin, "... your baby will cause great confusion in the lab!"
She began to press buttons on her device and scrutinise the electronic display. She looked up at both women and smiled. "And you don't need it anyway. Everything looks fine."
Alicia's hand tightened again on hers and the look of pure happiness Kalinda saw when she turned to face her was something that would become etched in her memory.
+++++++
Kalinda was still floating in along in an abstraction of future imaginings when they got back to Alicia's apartment.
"I have something for you." Alicia's words tethered her back to reality. Something about Alicia's face told Kalinda that whatever was in the small parcel was no generic maternity present.
Kalinda sat on Alicia's bed (their bed) and felt the dip of the mattress as Alicia sat next to her, hip touching hip. She undid the paper gently and held up a tiny white jumpsuit with matching hat. It certainly wasn't new and the style of the print of yellow ducklings on it seemed dated to Kalinda's eyes.
"It's the outfit Zach and Grace both wore home from hospital." Alicia explained.
Kalinda bit her lip.
"If you'd like ..." Alicia wasn't sure how to word it. "I'd love it if our baby wears it too." She then continued hastily, "But if you want to pick out your own, I wouldn't want to take that away from you."
Kalinda stilled her with a hand on her lips. "No, it's perfect." More perfect than Kalinda could ever have imagined.
++++++++
Everything that night felt different. Not that it was more tender or loving or passionate, but the knowledge that their offspring was viable, was growing ... had given their future together a shape and direction even more than Alicia's divorce papers had.
Afterwards, Alicia's green eyes were tender as they looked into Kalinda's liquid brown. "Do you care if it's a girl or a boy?"
"We're having a girl." Kalinda stated factually.
Alicia looked amused by Kalinda's certainty. "I see!"
"No really. Alicia, where would the baby get a Y chromosome from? We're having a girl."
"Oh! Well ..." Alicia wondered, given that their baby should never have been possible in the first place, whether Kalinda's genetic logic applied. "In that case, it gives us extra time to argue about names."
Kalinda snickered, then grew serious. "If there's a name from your father's family we could say it was Indian and probably get away with it."
"I think I could like that."
They readjusted in each other's arms, settling face to face. She couldn't actually feel it, but Kalinda could imagine the life growing inside her. As though she could discern the flutter of the little mass of cells that already had a heart blinking off/on, off/on, off/on.
She pulled even closer, pressing her abdomen against Alicia's. It felt almost as if this new entity, half her/half Alicia, was being nurtured between the bodies of both her mothers. Kalinda buried her face in Alicia's neck as she felt her eyes begin to sting. When Alicia rubbed her cheek soothingly against Kalinda's temple there was moisture there too, and she knew that Alicia was also feeling it: knowing, accepting, and belonging. Those things that hadn't been truly present Alicia's in life for so many years, and had never been part of Kalinda's.
Alicia's hand traced Kalinda's face, her fingertips rested questioningly.
"Yes. I want you to."
Alicia didn't even need to say the ritual words. Her third entry into Kalinda's mind was easy, her partner open and eager to receive her. This time their meld had no purposeful intent, both women simply felt their bond flow back and forth, incrementally delving into each other's consciousness until the distinction between who was Alicia and who was Kalinda became meaningless. And the tiny heart inside Kalinda's womb continued to beat steadily.
Title: Mingled
Author: schwarmerei1
Rating: MA
Fandom: The Good Wife, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Characters: Alicia Florrick, Kalinda Sharma, Diane Lockhart, Peter Florrick, Eli Gold, Maddie Hayward, Elsbeth Tascioni, Veronica Loy, Lwaxana Troi, Beverly Crusher, Grace Florrick, Zach Florrick
Pairing: Alicia/Kalinda
Disclaimer: I mean no disrespect, CBS, Scott Free, and the Kings own them
Spoilers: Spoilers through episode 5:10 "The Decision Tree"
Part 1 can be found here
Kalinda had bought it as a joke. She'd even smuggled a bottle of tequila into Alicia's bathroom the night before and hidden it under the vanity. Her plan had been to walk into the bedroom, a negative test stick in one hand, booze in the other, and propose shots to celebrate.
Instead she looked at two lines inside the window. The key next to it helpfully confirmed two lines meant "pregnant". But it's a faint line she told herself, as if being a little bit pregnant made a difference. Then she realised that she was reading the test upside down: the control line was faint, the one that measured her hCG was dark and unequivocal.
Kalinda sank onto the lid of the toilet. Despite Alicia's warnings from folklore that it had occasionally happened, intellectually Kalinda had discounted the possibility. Although the fact that she had avoided alcohol for the last two weeks suggested that some part of her thought otherwise.
Her awareness of time passing was lost in the haze of new implications for her life -- for their life. Without either of them discussing it, Kalinda had effectively moved into Alicia's apartment, sleeping every night with her since Alicia's fever. But this -- a baby -- was a level she'd never imagined taking things to.
She must have been gone from bed for a long time because Alicia had never interrupted her in the bathroom before, but this morning she peered cautiously in the doorway.
"You okay?"
Kalinda could only mutely hold out the stick to Alicia.
Alicia took it. "Kalinda ..." Even though she had been the one to warn Kalinda, she couldn't believe it either. Alicia stumbled headfirst into a cliche, "Whatever you want to do, I'll ... "
"Alicia don't." Kalinda couldn't tell if she was feeling thrilled, horrified or both. Mostly she was aware of a growing feeling of nausea. Surely it was too soon for morning sickness!
"Look, it's just a test from a drug store. Who even knows if it's right?"
Alicia's words were reassuring, but Kalinda knew full well they were false and that home pregnancy tests were reliable. Nevertheless she replied, "Sure, nothing to panic about."
Alicia headed for her closet and began to pull on jeans and a sweater. "I'm going to get another brand."
Kalinda watched her depart, hair untidy and with no makeup. She wondered what the drug store clerk would make of the spectacle of a stressed-out woman in her forties buying a pregnancy test. Assume it was for a teenage daughter?
Alicia was back before Kalinda had enough time to do more than mechanically drink glasses of water and read the product insert that had come in the test box. The idea of having a child -- Alicia's child -- had Kalinda at a loss for what to feel.
Three different branded boxes clattered out of the paper bag in Alicia's hands onto the vanity.
Kalinda, a newly-minted expert in home pregnancy tests after her reading of the last ten minutes, warned, "We might get a false negative. It's supposed to be first morning urine."
Alicia looked flustered and tucked her hair behind one ear. "Um, well ... let's try another one anyway." Despite being in possession of an unplanned pregnancy twice before, experience wasn't smoothing her path, and she'd definitely never expected to be the father.
Kalinda looked incredulously at Alicia hovering over her. "There's no way I can do this with you in the room Alicia."
"Oh! Right." Alicia tried to hand Kalinda the box, dropping it in the process. "Sorry." Their heads nearly hit as they both leant down. "Sorry."
Kalinda set the box on her lap, and took Alicia's hands in hers. "It's going to be okay." Kalinda sounded convincing because she believed it. She'd known when she'd given herself to Alicia to solve the crisis of Pon Farr that she was committed -- that this was her one and only chance to make them a possibility and that too much was at stake for her to admit the possibility of them failing.
Despite Alicia leaving the room, Kalinda still felt under so much pressure she considered turning on a tap. But finally she mastered her bladder and set the stick down on the vanity. She didn't have to wait three minutes to see the second line appear, just as vivid as the first time.
She found Alicia in the kitchen. "It's for real."
Alicia swallowed and looked longingly at a bottle of red on the counter. "I want a glass of wine, but I guess I should quit for solidarity's sake."
"God Alicia, have your wine." Kalinda was adamant, nine in the morning be damned. "There's no way we'll survive the next eight months with you unmedicated."
+++++++
"Alicia, Kalinda. Two of my favourite people. Have a seat." Elsbeth walked around the desk. "Oh! Not that one!"
Kalinda halted her downward motion.
"The one over there is ... safer."
Kalinda sat. Carefully.
Alicia watched as Elsbeth settled herself and then reached for a pen, upsetting several tchotchkes in the process. It was disconcerting to consult Elsbeth in an office ... with carpet, walls, an actual desk. She half-expected ceiling tiles to come crashing down. Something ...
"What can I do for ..." Elsbeth paused, pursed her lips. "Wait, don't you two work for different firms now? Which of you is the client?"
"I am." Alicia looked over at Kalinda. "It's a personal matter."
"Okay!" replied Elsbeth cheerfully.
"I need a divorce." Alicia paused briefly. "Quickly."
"Wow! How exciting." Elsbeth turned to Kalinda. "Marriage breakdowns, so dramatic. I like that jacket -- leather, so buttery." Elsbeth snapped her head back to Alicia. "So a divorce. And in a hurry. Any particular reason?" She began to twist a lock of her too-red hair around her pen. "Not that it's my business, but it seems like you've had reason to cut him loose for a while."
Alicia drew a breath -- she was going to need to get accustomed to these questions. She took Kalinda's hand. "We're having a baby."
"Really?! I miss my kids being babies! Gosh they used to do the darndest things ... funnier than all those cats on YouTube."
"Yes, well ... we'd like to have the matter resolved in time for us to get married before the baby's born." Despite the fact that this was something they had decided together, the thought of starting over again (new life, new marriage, new child) with Kalinda still felt unreal much of the time.
"Awww, so sweet. That's next summer when gay marriage comes in, right? Two June brides -- so festive!" Elsbeth scratched something illegible on her legal pad. "So, who's the mommy? I mean of course you'll both be mommies ... You know I read a study somewhere about kids with two moms being better adjusted ..."
"Kalinda is pregnant." Alicia clarified, wondering if that would redirect Elsbeth's thoughts.
"So why do you need me? Sounds pretty straightforward. You can claim Peter's infidelity, no need to wait out a two-year separation then."
"It's more that we want it dealt with ... discreetly." Kalinda put it succinctly.
"I suppose governor's wife impregnates lesbian lover does make a juicy headline." Elsbeth joked. Then she saw the faces opposite her. "Wait, is that what happened?"
"We don't really know how it happened." Alicia told part of the truth.
"But there's not some guy that could be the father? Sorry, Kalinda -- kinda calling you slutty there."
Alicia wasn't sure why she was giving information on this subject. The circumstances of the conception weren't relevant to what they needed Elsbeth for. "No, there isn't a guy."
Elsbeth looked at Alicia then. Looked hard. "Did you go through pon farr?"
The surprise on Alicia's face was her answer.
"You’re one-eigth Vulcan, after all. It can happen. "
Kalinda lost all ability to retain her usual neutral expression, but then it wasn't every day that one found oneself apparently participating in an extra-terrestrial conspiracy.
"Not that it matters ..." Elsbeth declared. "Wow! I'm so glad you came through it okay!" She winked at Kalinda. "Must have been one hell of an experience for you! One of my friends in the Continuum told me this story he heard in a bar once and ..."
Alicia's brain ran rapidly through the lore her father had vested in her. "You're Q?"
"Well, technically I'm not allowed to discuss that under the terms of my study visa here on Earth." Elsbeth gestured grandly to the air and presumably the Continuum's version of the NSA. "Hey though, one good thing, since we're all friends ... that divorce won't be a problem."
Kalinda blinked, she was clearly missing something. "It won't?"
"Well I can't do this for human clients obviously -- causes questions, you know?" Elsbeth opened a folder on her desk. "So, Alicia, here areyour divorce papers all signed and enacted. And Peter remembers granting the divorce to you. And the court was fine with it. And the media didn't notice it going through." She paused dramatically, then winked. "Maddie Hayward doesn't remember walking in on you two in the ladies room either." Elsbeth pushed the documentation across the desk to Alicia. "I hope you invite me to the wedding!" she exclaimed in conclusion.
"Explain to me what just happened." Kalinda requested in bewilderment as they left the Tascioni offices and walked toward the elevator.
Alicia shrugged; she'd gone to Elsbeth expecting a novel solution to their delicate problem. Being omnipotent certainly explained a few things about Elsbeth's success as a lawyer.
"Alicia! Kalinda! Wait!" Elsbeth was running towards them. On reaching them she looked around in an exaggerated cloak-and-dagger manner to see if anyone could overhear them. "I know a good doctor."
"Oh, that would be helpful. The obstetrician that delivered Zach and Grace has retired." Alicia got out her phone to enter contact details.
"This one's great. She's so nice. You should see her hair! I wish I had hair like hers ..." Elsbeth got out her phone too. "Dr Crusher's her name, but everyone calls her Beverly. She's, uh, a good choice for your situation."
Kalinda raised her eyebrows. "What, same-sex couple friendly?"
"Oh yes, definitely! But no, just used to dealing with mixed species pregnancies."
Kalinda sometimes felt like she saw conspiracies everywhere, but apparently not enough. "Another alien?"
"Oh no -- silly!" Elsbeth punched Kalinda lightly on the arm. "Beverly's as human as you are. But she's from the future. She's here doing research on ancient healthcare systems. But her medical knowledge is totally up to date!" Elsbeth scrolled through her contact details and hit the share button. "There!" Then she frowned. "Well, I think I sent it ..."
+++++++
"Feeling more comfortable now?" There was something about Dr Crusher that exuded friendly reassurance. Probably old-fashioned bedside manner decided Kalinda as she climbed back onto the examining table. Everything at the moment seemed to be about her bladder, and holding all that water in for an hour had been testing.
"Sometimes I don't know why we put you through that in the early weeks. Even when you can see via the abdomen, transvaginal is much clearer."
Kalinda took the sheet she was being offered and draped it over herself, then tried to remove her underwear in as dignified a fashion as she could manage. She watched Beverly roll a condom over the long thin probe and squeeze on lubricant. No wonder they called it dildo-cam.
Beverly smiled apologetically as her blue eyes met Kalinda's. "It's usually more comfortable if you insert it yourself and then I'll guide it from there."
Kalinda was still finding this whole thing where people expected access to her body, privacy be damned, invasive. And trust me -- it gets worse, Alicia had told her. But Beverly was gentle and had welcomed the two women into the room without missing a beat.
Kalinda did as instructed, then found Alicia's eyes -- long fingers held her smaller ones and squeezed. She was only just beginning to be able to admit to herself how much this mattered. The unclear images from Beverly's attempt to scan her abdominally had thrown her. Their miracle was a one-shot deal. Even Alicia, who was trying to affect the attitude of someone who'd been through the whole pregnancy thing before, had agreed to a dating scan. They were both unable to wait-and-see for later ultrasounds even though there was no indication anything was wrong.
Beverly guided the wand with one hand and tapped controls with the other. "Congratulations. You have your dates right."
Alicia smothered a laugh. Given they had no idea when the first day of Kalinda's last period should have been, they'd just added two weeks to the date of "the night" and hoped it was close.
"Seven weeks and one day according to measurement." Beverly tapped numbers on her keyboard. "One foetus, safely in the uterus." Beverly zoomed in. "And look, that point flashing on and off is the heart. 110 beats per minute, just right for the age."
Kalinda swallowed with relief: not an ectopic, no blighted ovum that would never progress. What should have been biologically impossible was delightfully banal in its normalcy.
"And now that we've done the expected stuff to enter on your file here, just a few quick checks that are off-the-record." Beverly pulled a device out of her pocket, it looked like an early generation bulky cellphone. "Human/Vulcan pregnancies are surprisingly straightforward despite their different physiology, but it's always worth checking the genetics."
She extracted a small cylindrical probe and began to wave it above Kalinda's abdomen. "I'd advise you to stay away from chromosome testing like amniocentesis and CVS. It's invasive, carries a risk of miscarriage, and ..." Beverly paused to grin, "... your baby will cause great confusion in the lab!"
She began to press buttons on her device and scrutinise the electronic display. She looked up at both women and smiled. "And you don't need it anyway. Everything looks fine."
Alicia's hand tightened again on hers and the look of pure happiness Kalinda saw when she turned to face her was something that would become etched in her memory.
+++++++
Kalinda was still floating in along in an abstraction of future imaginings when they got back to Alicia's apartment.
"I have something for you." Alicia's words tethered her back to reality. Something about Alicia's face told Kalinda that whatever was in the small parcel was no generic maternity present.
Kalinda sat on Alicia's bed (their bed) and felt the dip of the mattress as Alicia sat next to her, hip touching hip. She undid the paper gently and held up a tiny white jumpsuit with matching hat. It certainly wasn't new and the style of the print of yellow ducklings on it seemed dated to Kalinda's eyes.
"It's the outfit Zach and Grace both wore home from hospital." Alicia explained.
Kalinda bit her lip.
"If you'd like ..." Alicia wasn't sure how to word it. "I'd love it if our baby wears it too." She then continued hastily, "But if you want to pick out your own, I wouldn't want to take that away from you."
Kalinda stilled her with a hand on her lips. "No, it's perfect." More perfect than Kalinda could ever have imagined.
++++++++
Everything that night felt different. Not that it was more tender or loving or passionate, but the knowledge that their offspring was viable, was growing ... had given their future together a shape and direction even more than Alicia's divorce papers had.
Afterwards, Alicia's green eyes were tender as they looked into Kalinda's liquid brown. "Do you care if it's a girl or a boy?"
"We're having a girl." Kalinda stated factually.
Alicia looked amused by Kalinda's certainty. "I see!"
"No really. Alicia, where would the baby get a Y chromosome from? We're having a girl."
"Oh! Well ..." Alicia wondered, given that their baby should never have been possible in the first place, whether Kalinda's genetic logic applied. "In that case, it gives us extra time to argue about names."
Kalinda snickered, then grew serious. "If there's a name from your father's family we could say it was Indian and probably get away with it."
"I think I could like that."
They readjusted in each other's arms, settling face to face. She couldn't actually feel it, but Kalinda could imagine the life growing inside her. As though she could discern the flutter of the little mass of cells that already had a heart blinking off/on, off/on, off/on.
She pulled even closer, pressing her abdomen against Alicia's. It felt almost as if this new entity, half her/half Alicia, was being nurtured between the bodies of both her mothers. Kalinda buried her face in Alicia's neck as she felt her eyes begin to sting. When Alicia rubbed her cheek soothingly against Kalinda's temple there was moisture there too, and she knew that Alicia was also feeling it: knowing, accepting, and belonging. Those things that hadn't been truly present Alicia's in life for so many years, and had never been part of Kalinda's.
Alicia's hand traced Kalinda's face, her fingertips rested questioningly.
"Yes. I want you to."
Alicia didn't even need to say the ritual words. Her third entry into Kalinda's mind was easy, her partner open and eager to receive her. This time their meld had no purposeful intent, both women simply felt their bond flow back and forth, incrementally delving into each other's consciousness until the distinction between who was Alicia and who was Kalinda became meaningless. And the tiny heart inside Kalinda's womb continued to beat steadily.