Comments | schwann: sleep until the walls come crumbling down.

schwann

sleep until the walls come crumbling down.

Oct 04, 2009 08:28

Figures I haven't updated for months, and the only thing I want to write about is... Well...

( Really depressing, so I'll cut it. Plus? It's the same ol', same ol'... Just worse. )

Comments 10

criminalize October 4 2009, 13:31:51 UTC

what happened to all the lj friends who were jumping before at the fact that you were moving to houston? (i... assume you're still living there now.)

i don't really know what to say except... social anxiety is awful, and i can imagine that even when it hits me full-force, it's not as bad as what it feels like when it hits you. but... really, really, the only way to conquer it is to talk to people. ignore your doubts about whether or not you're boring them and just do it. sometimes it's awkward, and sometimes it's a downright failure, but you can't ever take that to heart. you have to remember that even though sometimes people just don't 'click', there are always other people who you'll find an instant chemistry and fall into an easy friendship with. you can't ever think that you're not good enough and that you're not interesting because that's just rubbish; even if you're not doing anything interesting doesn't mean that you're not an interesting persondo you have online friends who live nearby you? maybe you could try and meet them ( ... )

schwann October 4 2009, 13:45:55 UTC

I'm just too afraid that they won't really want to have anything to do with me in real life or something, I don't know. It's me just getting myself down again. (And I'm not there just yet... Give it a month, and I will be!)

I just have a horrible problem with taking it to heart, I think. These days, I see myself as so, ergh, old, and being unable to make friends or really connect with people makes me feel like such a failure. All I have to talk about is fandom or complaining about my life or things that happened in the past (not necessarily in a bad light) and... I want to be interesting. This feeling of being boring and obnoxious needs to just go away. I know I can make friends because I'm generally a nice person, I'm just not really sure how.

This is going to sound SO LAME... But. I really wish we weren't arriving a few days late to go to an anime convention that's taking place in Houston. For me... It's like I cease being really anxious and feel really at home around some of the people, because they won't be put ( ... )

criminalize October 4 2009, 14:03:24 UTC

goes without saying, but: please don't! there is no reason why someone wouldn't want anything to do with you. and yanno, a weird thing is, sometimes you don't click with people online but you do with them offline, so don't ever think of yourself as unworthy because of a failed encounter. (honestly, a lot of my RL friends and i are that way; we're BFFs offline, but online, we have absolutely nothing to say to each other and it's just a strain to try and talk. not quite sure how that works, but there you go. it can be the same vice versa sometimes too.)

oi, aren't we about the same age? XD and i don't think i'm old, so you're not old either. talking about fandom and life isn't boring or obnoxious, dude. honestly, i can't think of anything more interesting than hearing about a person's life; what they've done, places they've been, things they've experienced, etc. you can't ever think of yourself as boring; things that you may think are boring are actually really interesting to other people. (easy example from my own life here: i ( ... )

bayliss October 4 2009, 14:12:50 UTC

*squish*

You need to get some Medication... Like an anti-depressant..

Ohter than that I don't know what else to tell you except that I'll be on AIM tonight (dibayliss76) and I'd love to talk to you.

downburst October 4 2009, 14:44:54 UTC

One, I am very, very happy to see that you're okay.

Two, get help. Please.

... actually, if you're still moving to the Houston area, I can recommend a really good therapist to you. She's kind of far south (somewhere around Rice Village, I think), but she's worth the drive.

boom October 4 2009, 14:58:37 UTC

i could have written this, so i can't really offer much advice. but as usual, i'm wishing you well. i really am. ♥

funny thing here. i've had you on my aim for the longest time, but i've yet to muster up the courage to say anything. oh good grief. ;n;

wither October 4 2009, 16:13:10 UTC

i don't think i'll tell you anything you haven't heard before, but on the issue of friends

IM them even if you have nothing to say and just want to talk to them.

you will alienate them and make them feel unwanted and unliked if you don't talk to them and they will drift from you.