and then all of a sudden it hits you like a train.
So It's 5am and I've been laying in bed for 2 hours hours now. I've finally had the dreaded breakdown that I try to avoid everynight. I've realized that I'm *not* ok. I may act like I'm ok with Joe being gone...but I'm truly not. I know this will take a while. But shit, it's gonna be a long ass ride. Everyday is a constant reminder of him/our friendship/what we had. I just wish I could think of him and not be sad. I never want to forget Joe, but I can't feel like this forever. Sometimes I wonder, what would have happen if I would have talked to you that Wed. before he died. I go through all kinds of senarios... What I could have done to kept him from going riding that day. I should probrably get a hobby or something...or a better job. I just wish I could lay down and fall asleep instead of just thinking constantly, it's been a month and a half almost, yes he IS gone...he's gone. :(