I'm not a perfect person as many things I wish I didn't do
This has been the Easter holiday from hell...
Why am I such an asshole?...I can't understand how I spend so much time thinking about what I'm going to tell you and then just not even tell you. I wish you didn't matter so much to me. Maybe if I would just suck it up and not think that what I spent so much time thinking about could fuck something so important up that I would just straight up talk to you about. I almost did tonite. But, like always I just shut up and told you bye. I just want to understand why we are like Nick and Cathryn. I know 2 reasons straight up. Everytime I come in town I tell myself- don't expect anything. And yet like an asshole I do. It's like the curse of the big fat fluffy haired chick.
I've lost 3 best friends over the course of...3 months..that sounds pretty shitty..well let me just tell you if feels pretty shitty too...I wish it was Thanksgiving again and I was the only one that knew what was going to happend. I wish I could just take everyone's pain away. Just avoid everything completely. Even though I probrably wouldn't talk to one person ever again. AND ANOTHER THING. I'm tired of choosing sides. I take that back I wish I could go back to the night Joe and I spent at the lakefront talking for like...ever. I wish I would have never left. It's like that movie sliding glass door..or something like that where it goes back and opts for the other choice that could have been made.
I hate this feeling, but then again who doesn't? if I knew how to ljcut I'd do it here but quotation marks are just going to have to work.
-"God, what I wouldn't give for something real..."
I totally agree with you.
Why am I such an asshole?...I can't understand how I spend so much time thinking about what I'm going to tell you and then just not even tell you. I wish you didn't matter so much to me. Maybe if I would just suck it up and not think that what I spent so much time thinking about could fuck something so important up that I would just straight up talk to you about. I almost did tonite. But, like always I just shut up and told you bye. I just want to understand why we are like Nick and Cathryn. I know 2 reasons straight up. Everytime I come in town I tell myself- don't expect anything. And yet like an asshole I do. It's like the curse of the big fat fluffy haired chick.
I've lost 3 best friends over the course of...3 months..that sounds pretty shitty..well let me just tell you if feels pretty shitty too...I wish it was Thanksgiving again and I was the only one that knew what was going to happend. I wish I could just take everyone's pain away. Just avoid everything completely. Even though I probrably wouldn't talk to one person ever again. AND ANOTHER THING. I'm tired of choosing sides. I take that back I wish I could go back to the night Joe and I spent at the lakefront talking for like...ever. I wish I would have never left. It's like that movie sliding glass door..or something like that where it goes back and opts for the other choice that could have been made.
I hate this feeling, but then again who doesn't? if I knew how to ljcut I'd do it here but quotation marks are just going to have to work.
-"God, what I wouldn't give for something real..."
I totally agree with you.