When Will It Stop?!
LONDON, June 29 -- Two Mercedes sedans, loaded with gasoline, propane tanks, nails, and explosive detonators were discovered in London's nightclub district early Friday morning. Bomb squads have since defused the devices and removed the vehicles from the area, though are still on the look-out for other such vehicles in and around London. According to British police, had the devices detonated, the loss of lives could have potentially numbered in the hundreds or several more hundreds.
Currently, only one suspect has been named by British police in the investigation, Turner Broadcasting's Cartoon Network. According to investigators, vehicles were planted as part of a guerrilla advertisement campaign for the Cartoon Network's new Adult Swim series, "Propane and Nails", an animated program about a propane tank that fights crime with his wise-cracking sidekick, a three inch copper nail. Ironically, the first episode's storyline finds the duo fighting a terrorist threat in London. Or is that coincidentally? I can't keep track.
"What the bleedin' eff is wrong with these American cartoons?" asks London resident Robert Blakewichsmythe. "Why can't they keep their dangerous ads back in the [United] States? I got work to do and don't need a bunch of bomb-sniffers in my way when I'm trying to sell smack! Bollocks!" Blakewichsmythe then excused himself to go defecate on a pigeon.
An arrest warrant has been issued for the Cartoon Network, which continues to broadcast twenty-four hours a day on several cable services in the United States, in flagrant violation of good taste. The Cartoon Network was unavailable for comment, but a spokesperson for the network promised that as soon as an arrest was made, bail would be posted, and episodes of that show with those two obnoxious kids that have wacky adventures with an anthropomorphized spirit of Death would continue uninterrupted. The spokesperson promised that the Cartoon Network would work tirelessly to find a scapegoat later this evening while reruns of "The Venture Bros" are being aired.
England is a country in Europe.
Currently, only one suspect has been named by British police in the investigation, Turner Broadcasting's Cartoon Network. According to investigators, vehicles were planted as part of a guerrilla advertisement campaign for the Cartoon Network's new Adult Swim series, "Propane and Nails", an animated program about a propane tank that fights crime with his wise-cracking sidekick, a three inch copper nail. Ironically, the first episode's storyline finds the duo fighting a terrorist threat in London. Or is that coincidentally? I can't keep track.
"What the bleedin' eff is wrong with these American cartoons?" asks London resident Robert Blakewichsmythe. "Why can't they keep their dangerous ads back in the [United] States? I got work to do and don't need a bunch of bomb-sniffers in my way when I'm trying to sell smack! Bollocks!" Blakewichsmythe then excused himself to go defecate on a pigeon.
An arrest warrant has been issued for the Cartoon Network, which continues to broadcast twenty-four hours a day on several cable services in the United States, in flagrant violation of good taste. The Cartoon Network was unavailable for comment, but a spokesperson for the network promised that as soon as an arrest was made, bail would be posted, and episodes of that show with those two obnoxious kids that have wacky adventures with an anthropomorphized spirit of Death would continue uninterrupted. The spokesperson promised that the Cartoon Network would work tirelessly to find a scapegoat later this evening while reruns of "The Venture Bros" are being aired.
England is a country in Europe.