Panic, Dashboard, Cab in San Jose, 10.11.08
We got here just early enough to sneak into the front of the line with the girls. (It's not a concert faux pas, really, because we were just trying to get a seat and not get to the barricade.) Anyway, it was harrowing as first Singer turned up by the ticket booth and there was a mad dash for him, and then the gates opened. See, at this venue, there's a staircase and a walkway between the gate and the doors. Terrible idea. So we avoided death by crushing and ran from some hordes and got pretty good seats.
They're showing songs from Rock Band 2 on the monitors, but maybe it's the feed from where people are playing? Because there's never any drums. So they sound terrrrrible. There's a reason why The Offspring never played acoustic. Aren't drums the only benefit of Rock Band?
Show's supposed to start in 18 minutes. Alex DeLeon is still wandering around the floor with random hoochies. I don't think this is gonna start on time.
Some girls made rag dolls of the members of Panic, plus rosevest. They clearly gave them at M&G. Zack is carrying them backstage. He can't burn them, because they're voodoo.
I'm not going to talk about the fan fashion disasters because we'd be here all day.
The Cab I am already surprised in the good way. They're working a seriously huge stage and it feels full, a trick it took Bloc Party years to learn. El is happy because the big screen has a camera behind Johnson, so all we can see is his ass, and his jeans are too low to help him.
Singer: Do you guys know who we are?
Smart-ass kid behind me: IT'S WRITTEN BEHIND YOU.
Cab fashion police: Alex's hair is flatironed but not gross. Ian needs a deep conditioner like crazy. This is also not the place I would pull out my 4-pack Hanes XL white t-shirts. I'm gonna pay someone to burn Johnson's French sailor shirts. Cash and Marshall remain Cash and Marshall.
It really shouldn't be a surprise that Marshall translates really well to Jumbotron.
Four badass black guys have just shown up on the floor. I'm going to assume that they're here because they love Panic. Or, if my wet dreams come true, they're here to beat up Tom from the PWTs.
People srsly need to stop crowdsurfing at Panic shows. Teenage girls are notoriously short on both compassion and upper body strength.
Singer: I don't care if this is an arena. After this show, I wanna meet you guys.
Has anyone ever seen What a Way to Go? starring Shirley MacLaine? Gene Kelly plays a huge singing star who says he owes it to his fans to go meet a screaming mob, and he is torn limb from limb. Yeah...
Lots of people are bouncing their arms during "Bounce." You know who isn't? Lex. This proves that SHE DOESN'T LOVE THEM and SHE'S JUST USING THEM!!!!111! Or it might not.
Cab Ends.
Me: *takes out one earplug*
Some dude on stage: SAN JOSEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Me: *puts earplug back in*
Dude: My name is Rinickulous!
Me: *falls sideways laughing*
PWTs From the way he is dressed, I think the bassist might have a job interview later. I can't explain the porkpie hat. Tom is wearing shades, so he looks sort of like Tom Cruise in whatever that movie was with the dark suit. Risky Business? He also is wearing a double breasted jacket with pants that don't quiiiite match. And are too short. So I can see his socks. His downfall is gonna be hilar. $10 says he's playing in 15 years in a dive bar in your hometown, still using the PWTs name.
PWT Fashion Police Rap Sheet:
Porkpie hats: 2
Members going to interviews in 1930s bars after this: 2
Greasers: 1
Lumberjacks: 1
Sunglasses: 1 (but why?)
Text from Mom: This band is the blues brothers, opie and a jet as led by peewee herman.
Tom's fretboard says "plain white t's". He'll be bringing that to the bar gig. Lovelypoet reports that the front row literally could not be less interested. Eleanor and Siryn are playing solitaire. My mom is checking Facebook. I'm casting on for a hat.
Update from Siryn in the front row: Tom's pants have zippers on the ankles.
Right in front of us, three guys. One of them has a beer and is dancing to Hate like he's drunk and moshing. In California. All sort of spinning around and shit. We cannot take our eyes off of him.
One thing I will say about the embarassment-squicktastic Rock Band competition: It does a great job of showcasing the "Just for Fun" mode, where you can't fail. That turns out to be important here.
Dashboard: Chris: How many of you are as stoked as I am to see Panic at the Disco? Well, I get to see them in their underwear backstage, so it's good for me no matter what.
DC Fashion Report: Oh, I see. The porkpie hats were 5 for a dollar. One member has an interview. (When Britrock bands wear suits, it looks sharp. When scene boys wear suits, it looks like an interview.)
One song in and this is basically exactly what I imagine seeing Jesse Lacey is like. Also, they brought out these wide foot high apple boxes for him to stand on and stomp. HILARITY. They also go dark after every song, like the band is done. Or this is a video. Mom and Siryn both think the first song is the only song they know, but I bet they're wrong. We haven't gotten to "why don't you kill me, so I'll die happy" or "your haiiiirrrr is evvvvvveryyyyywherrrrrre."
Chris: Take care of each other, and if you need help, holler. We'll help you.
El: Is that a speech you learn when they're over thirty?
Chris is now telling off-color jokes.
I need to pee. Brb.
How come everywhere you go now has foam instead of hand soap?
And I'm back. There's a 45ish lady with her husband who is dancing like crazy, all flailing limbs and singing along. She starts dancing before the song starts. *That's* how much she loves Dashboard Confessional. Her sense of rhythm is poor and she dances in a way that can only be described as "boogieing." I love her. I wish so hard I'd brought my camera.
Chris is kind of charming. He's certainly the not the Tom-style doucheface he was in his Unplugged. (God, remember that? It was the moment that the scene started and Unplugged died.)
Singing backup on "El Scorcho": Ian, DeMar, and the Lumberjack, who has brought his cocktail and is singing during the verses. There is also a guy sidestage who I think might be Dr. Daniel Jackson. Not Michael Shanks, actual Daniel Jackson.
Security is passing out water on the barricade and the rock medics are getting in position. That seems bad...
Did I mention that I am in the front row of the balcony thingy and wearing a skirt, and what is keeping my sacred space from being shown to all is a Hot Topic poster.
The only other song Mom knows is the closer, and I have never heard this song in my life.
Eleanor has somehow procured two Churros for the price of one.
Between acts, Rinickulous is blathering. The girls next to us are engaging in increasingly hysterical screams for encores.
Rinickulous: They're going to treat us to a little "White Wedding" by Billy Jooooeeeeeeel!
What is his actual purpose?
Panic: I saw this set of "household labels" the other day made by a designer who is inspired by vintage wallpaper. Panic's amps are done like that now.
Tip from Sky: If you are gonna play Rock Band in front of a large audience, go one skill level lower than you ordinarily would. If you go up one to impress us, the silences will loom large.
El is totally rocking out to these kids playing Rock Band. There's no way she's sober.
Yay! The mom is staying for Panic! Maybe I'll go dance with her.
There's some vases. And incense. And these horrible patchwork curtains. And what might be Christmas lights. Instead of hiring a designer, they just recreated Brendon's house.
Okay, I take back what I said about scene boys in suits. Possibly Panic should lead some sort of seminar on color mixing. Red jackets! Yellow shirts!
I am less sure about the suit/headband combo. all the extra fabric of a jacket makes Spence look kind of ... middle-aged and hunched. Death of a Drummer.
Ok, fine, I'll say it. He's getting puffy in the face, which means he's putting on married weight.
Oh no. Brendon took off his jacket = Balki Bartokamus. Ryan is practically a member of Franz Ferdinand in his little jacket.
Brendon, introducing "Lying": This is for you if here with a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a spouse, a creepy uncle...
In addition to not hiring a designer, the background is all stock footage from the 60s. Luckily, I love stock footage. "The Kitchen of the Future" doesn't really match Things Have Changed, but they're so darn endearing. I also love how they keep fucking with the arrangements, the mark of a band that likes being musicians.
Ugh, goddamn you, Brendon! You can't drop just the bridge of my favorite old song, which you have NEVER PLAYED IN MY PRESENCE into a medley. God I hate you and how you're all spastic and adorable.
Remember the Delta bluesman that Mark McKinney used to do on Kids in the Hall? Jon looks like that.
The actual bestpart of Brendon playing the drums for the end of "Moon": If you're far away enough and on the side, as I am, so you can see them lined up, Brendon is like Spencer's shadow! Like Spencer's kid in a movie about some kind of drumming legacy in the fade across part that shows how Brendon's a success too.
Sign that a band has possibly had too much downtime: Spencer can bust the People's Court theme on a whim.
Quick tip: If you're playing an arena tour, make sure that your stage setup is visible from at all angles.
Brendon Urie doesn't translate well to Jumbotron. Jon Walker is fucking delicious on the big screen. Ryan with your shirt and tie, looking all British invasion and rocking out with Jon Walker, being all casual and owning the crowd from the center of the stage. I see your ploy to become my favorite. It's not happening. (Bookmark this so you can rub it in my face later.)
Our section is all little kids jumping around and acting all crazy out of joy. Our section is the best section. There is also a dad who dances all enthusiastic and then stops when his kid turns around.
If you put Ryan and Jon together with a mandolin in a corner, they look like most of the Kingston Trio. Spencer has still escaped from Newport Folk.
Promise: Brendon Urie is unmedicated. He is being, like, extra bonus weird. I can't put it into words. He just made the audience screech for a while, then he says, "That has nothing to do with the next song. I just wanted to do it."
Um, hi Spencer singing by yourself and growling. You can come hang out any time. In my pants.
Setlist!
We're So Sorry
Handsome Woman
Lying
Things Have Changed
Some kind of first album medley
When the Day (people start leaving to beat the traffic. They miss wonderful brendonness.)
Time to Dance
Northern Downpour (lighter count: 4. No one smokes anymore.)
But It's Better
I Write Sins
Nine in the Afternoon
Mad as Rabbits
Shout