(no subject)
Alex knew that tormenting Cof with socks was not productive or helpful. But she was just a puppy though sort of grown and it was much easier not to think about about the fact he hadn't actually known his best friend at all when playing tug of war with her. They'd ruined several pairs of socks this way but Alex just shoved them further under the bed. There was plenty of room because Alex was trying to distract himself any old way and was actually completely on top of the laundry entirely voluntarily for perhaps the first time on island. He wishes he'd never convince Hayley to stay here when Bran was at Will's now even his room reminds him of her.
The fact that she hadn't wanted to break up keeps running through his mind but he tells himself not to be stupid, he doesn't need her and he can't trust her and he's sure if he sticks at it, he'll stop thinking about her eventually. The sock tears and Cof looks smug, and Alex sits up. He'll take her for a walk he decides when Cafall sticks his nose through the curtain. This means Bran is back and as much as Alex is inadvertently relying on Bran's dogs for a distraction he tries not to be obvious about it. Cof has pulled out a slightly more intact sock and is chewing on it merrily as Alex abandons this plan and sits up so as not to look as if he's spent the entire day so far lying on his bed talking to a puppy.
Alex is not fooling anyone. Besides, Bran knows his dogs, and this sock-stalking habit of Cof's is a fairly recent development. "You're spoiling her," Bran says lightly. "She's becoming a force for destruction. By which of course I mean thank you for looking after them."
It's not like looking after the dogs isn't about the only thing Alex likes doing at the moment. "She's a serious threat to socks everywhere," said Alex reaching down to play tug of war with Cof, he might as well seeing as he's been caught. "And you're welcome, any time." Which Bran would have been anyway but Alex has liked helping out especially recently.
"Fortunately," Bran says, tossing himself onto his bed, "the clothes box seems happy to give us all the socks her little heart could desire, in a wide variety of thoroughly offensive patterns and colours." He props his head on his elbows, watching boy and dog play. "How're you holding up then?"
It indeed is helpful like that and really although they might all be clean now for once Alex has a lot of clothes from the time he didn't do any laundry at all and just helped himself to new socks. Cof could go through a lot of them before he ran out. He doesn't really want to think about the question. "I'm wondering when I'm going to stop feeling like an idiot," he admits. He hadn't done anything, why is he the one who feels like crap.
"Not your fault," Bran says simply, as Cof yanks the sock out of Alex's hand and shakes her head fiercely. "Anything I can do? I've been there, after all--well, the breaking up part, not the why part."
It's that for all intents and purposes Alex broke up with her. 'Only if you want to.' what a cop out that was and her actions prompted it but he wonders when he's missing her if he went and talked to her that he could fix things somehow. Then he reminds himself that he can't trust her, is she even the person he thought she was? Maybe he was just wrong all along. How can your best friend be someone you can't trust, let alone your girlfriend. He only has a vague idea about Bran's break up and he looks over. "I thought he vanished?" he said. Which is stupid because it's not like Bran could only have had one break up ever. And this isn't what he wants to ask, more how long does it take before it stops? He's fairly certain that's not a standard thing. There's a short pause and he gives in and asks anyway, "how long does it take? Before you feel normal again?"
"He did. I had somebody before that," Bran answers, and that had been a lot less painful, really, than going to sleep next to someone and waking up with them not there. "I think it depends on how serious you were, really. It's sort of like having a limb chopped off, you know? You just learn to use the other one. It takes a bit. But it does happen."
Alex feels like he's put his foot in it a bit there but Bran doesn't seem to mind or he answers anyway. "I was serious," he said, knowing he sounds peevish. It's ridiculous, being shot in the chest hurt less than this. But he'd got over that he can manage this. "It's worse because she was my friend," he admits. "At least I thought she was anyway."
"Of course you were serious," Bran says, peering at him quizzically. Why wouldn't he be? He props his chin on his hands. "I suppose the question is, could you forgive her?"
That's the thing isn't it, that Alex thinks about all about all the time, sometimes he convinces himself he could ignore it but it's always going t be a big deal. "No," he said. "It's not just the other guy you know, it's the whole hiding it. I thought I'd done something." He'd thought it had been that stupid film he'd found but it hadn't been. "I want the Hayley I knew back but I wonder if she's even real," she's not this person who would do this, who'd mess things up like that.
"Then there's really nothing for it but moving on," Bran says, matter-of-fact. It doesn't make any real difference to him, whether Alex can or can't, but it's the sort of thing one should know for one's self.
"Right," said Alex who is still considering trying to tempt Cof with another sock. That's a productive use of his time. "I know that." he tells Bran unconvincingly. "I'm going to go for a walk," he said, at least that's moving out of the room, a step up as it were. "Cerddediadau?" He addresses the puppy, well aware his pronunciation is terrible and hoping Bran won't mind.
Cof may or may not understand what he's talking about, but she gets the idea well enough, and looks at Bran hopefully. "Go on then," he says, shaking his head. His roommate is going to make off with his dog one of these days. If Will doesn't get her first.
Alex shoves his sockless feet into a pair of scraggy flip flops, not that this is anything to do with the way he's trained Cof to react to socks at all. "Thanks," he said. Not just meaning for the permission to walk Cof. He disappears out the curtain, with her eagerly following him.