maybe its the weather.

[scholer]

i came home around four am last night feeling really awkward and unbalanced. the main thing that was bothering me was that i couldn't put my finger on why. after about three hours of sleep i was awoken by a tapping at the side door of my room. it turned out to be andi and we stayed up talking. after that i knew attempting more sleep would only fail me in the end so i decided to take a shower. it may sound weird but i do a lot of my best thinking while showering. maybe its the fact of being stripped of all of my invulnerabilities...or maybe its the fact that i don't use soap and i just let the water hit me and theres nothing else to do but think. either way i started thinking of everything going on in my life, which isn't much. i have a lot of things in the works or on the back burner, but it doesn't seem like i'm doing much. i'm not making any difference in the world by being here. i started prioritizing and questioning why i feel certain ways or do certain things. i came up with a few conclusions that seem to make sense, but i'm still not sure what to do. my usual routine of waiting and seeing what happens doesn't feel like a good solution, but i'm not sure of how else to handle life. i do know one thing, friends come first and thats all that matters.

rich: everything is okay for the house show on wednesday, so call me later so we can figure out the details.