Too long out of touch
I feel so out of touch with everyone and everything, lately. It has been months since I've posted here or anywhere else - since the end of the Charlotte job - and I haven't said anything about my current position (contract web and mobile development) or Frolicon (which admittedly was just this past weekend) or any of the other developments in my life (not that there have been all that many).
I also have been missing out on other people's lives. I only just heard about Sophianna transitioning, something that caught me entirely off-guard. I had never realized that her former self was anything but true; it makes me reflect on my own feelings, though in truth I don't see myself following that path (I would be as miserable as a woman as I am as a man, and as miserable at being a woman as I am at being a man). I don't even have the strength to even if it were right for me.
I barely have the strength for everyday life, which is, I think, why I have been so out of touch: I am afraid of losing contact with those I care about, but that fear is itself driving me away from them. I've been a poor friend to everybody, and perhaps it would be better for everyone if I simply faded away.
As for Frolicon, well, I didn't get to see much of it, as I was working for my father in the dealer's room. I didn't get to a single panel, and missed the cuddle party (one of the few things I really look forward to), though I did get to a couple of the night-time parties. It was fun in places, but mostly I was working, so there wasn't much beyond that for me.
I also have been missing out on other people's lives. I only just heard about Sophianna transitioning, something that caught me entirely off-guard. I had never realized that her former self was anything but true; it makes me reflect on my own feelings, though in truth I don't see myself following that path (I would be as miserable as a woman as I am as a man, and as miserable at being a woman as I am at being a man). I don't even have the strength to even if it were right for me.
I barely have the strength for everyday life, which is, I think, why I have been so out of touch: I am afraid of losing contact with those I care about, but that fear is itself driving me away from them. I've been a poor friend to everybody, and perhaps it would be better for everyone if I simply faded away.
As for Frolicon, well, I didn't get to see much of it, as I was working for my father in the dealer's room. I didn't get to a single panel, and missed the cuddle party (one of the few things I really look forward to), though I did get to a couple of the night-time parties. It was fun in places, but mostly I was working, so there wasn't much beyond that for me.