More adventures with my favourite evil undead kitten
Hi new friends! I'm too lazy to do an intro post right now (also I never know what to say), so I'll talk more about my evil undead cat familiar instead. (That's probably also more indicative of the kind of stuff I usually post about, so honest advertising.) Some highlights from the last few D&D sessions:
- While talking about events decades in the past my cat mentioned her first master. I asked her how many masters she had. My cat, indignant: "Are you cat-shaming me?"
- It turned out I'm her third. Her first master died, and I ask what happened with the second. Cat: "There were problems."
"Problems?"
"He had morals."
Me: "But I have morals too!"
Cat, generously: "Yes, yes. I like you."
Not ominous at all.
- My cat stole letters I carried. The (new) rogue stole the letters from my cat. I noticed that my cat was confused, my cat claimed she saw someone steal the letters from me. The rogue however already put the letters back in my pocket. The cat was even more confused.
The rogue now doesn't trust my cat, which is probably smart of him.
- My cat tried to teach the 12-year old future paladin, the child version of the savior of the world, necromancy. (Un)Fortunately she doesn't speak common.
- Next session. Me, talking about the spider lady: "I won't lift a finger to help someone who uses torture, blackmail, nonconsensual body modification…"
Rogue's player: "You're parting ways with your cat?!"
I laughed for two minutes before arguing that my cat never engaged in nonconsensual body modification, and that cutting of limbs doesn't count. (It does but it's a different level of body horror from replacing someone's lower body with that of a giant snake, like the spider lady did and not even for any particular reason.)
- Earlier that game my cat had tried to arrange a situation where the rogue and another PC would have been not-critically harmed because she found it funny (nobody except my character knows about it though.) After the session that player joked about killing her if she tries something like that again, I said if he killed my cat I would kill his character, and we had a slightly ridiculous exchange of "I'm harder to kill than you think," "I _would_ find a way," "no you wouldn't," "yes I would." (For the record, I'm not sure my character would, but she absolutely could, mostly because she has more friends and allies.)
- We always try to pick a title for each session, and it's often the most ridiculous quote of the evening. The second-to-last session before Christmas (I missed the last one -.-) is called "Cloudy with a chance of fireballs", subtitles: "Talk to cucumber", "34 positions in one night", and "The mountain was on fire and it wasn't our fault." I swear it all made sense in context. Well, kinda.
First session in three weeks hopefully soon! I still need to finish choosing new spells after reaching a new level. At first that was always fun, but by now I'm more anxious about picking the right ones so it's harder. Still, I look forward to using my new abilities :) I haven't once used Animate Dead yet, my cat is becoming impatient. (I even have a complete Shrunk troll skeleton in my bag that I could use…)
Crossposted from Dreamwidth.
comments there.
- While talking about events decades in the past my cat mentioned her first master. I asked her how many masters she had. My cat, indignant: "Are you cat-shaming me?"
- It turned out I'm her third. Her first master died, and I ask what happened with the second. Cat: "There were problems."
"Problems?"
"He had morals."
Me: "But I have morals too!"
Cat, generously: "Yes, yes. I like you."
Not ominous at all.
- My cat stole letters I carried. The (new) rogue stole the letters from my cat. I noticed that my cat was confused, my cat claimed she saw someone steal the letters from me. The rogue however already put the letters back in my pocket. The cat was even more confused.
The rogue now doesn't trust my cat, which is probably smart of him.
- My cat tried to teach the 12-year old future paladin, the child version of the savior of the world, necromancy. (Un)Fortunately she doesn't speak common.
- Next session. Me, talking about the spider lady: "I won't lift a finger to help someone who uses torture, blackmail, nonconsensual body modification…"
Rogue's player: "You're parting ways with your cat?!"
I laughed for two minutes before arguing that my cat never engaged in nonconsensual body modification, and that cutting of limbs doesn't count. (It does but it's a different level of body horror from replacing someone's lower body with that of a giant snake, like the spider lady did and not even for any particular reason.)
- Earlier that game my cat had tried to arrange a situation where the rogue and another PC would have been not-critically harmed because she found it funny (nobody except my character knows about it though.) After the session that player joked about killing her if she tries something like that again, I said if he killed my cat I would kill his character, and we had a slightly ridiculous exchange of "I'm harder to kill than you think," "I _would_ find a way," "no you wouldn't," "yes I would." (For the record, I'm not sure my character would, but she absolutely could, mostly because she has more friends and allies.)
- We always try to pick a title for each session, and it's often the most ridiculous quote of the evening. The second-to-last session before Christmas (I missed the last one -.-) is called "Cloudy with a chance of fireballs", subtitles: "Talk to cucumber", "34 positions in one night", and "The mountain was on fire and it wasn't our fault." I swear it all made sense in context. Well, kinda.
First session in three weeks hopefully soon! I still need to finish choosing new spells after reaching a new level. At first that was always fun, but by now I'm more anxious about picking the right ones so it's harder. Still, I look forward to using my new abilities :) I haven't once used Animate Dead yet, my cat is becoming impatient. (I even have a complete Shrunk troll skeleton in my bag that I could use…)
Crossposted from Dreamwidth.
comments there.