Jokes
Cut because most are adult:
I got hospitalized due to a peekaboo incident. They put me in the ICU.
My husband calls me a sex object. Everytime he wants sex, I object.
Masturbating is perfectly normal and healthy. It releases dopamine, reduces stress, and improves cardiovascular health. Yet I still got thrown off the bus.
Try sex while camping. It's in tents!
They told me I have to do sexual harassment training at work. Ridiculous! I'm already very good at it.
A premature ejaculator was invited to a party. He didn't know what to wear, so he just came in his pants.
The nurse at the sperm bank asked if I wanted to masturbate in the cup. I said, well, that's pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete yet.
What did the prostitute say when she walked off the job? "I just don't have it in me anymore."
What did the penis say to the condom? "Cover me, I'm going in!"
Why are the great pyramids in Egypt? Because they're too heavy to carry to the British Museum.
Did you hear about the anarchist who got depressed? He found out one of his body parts is called the prostate.
What's the hardest part of being a vegan? Waking up at 4:30am to milk the almonds.
Thanks, thanks, I'll be here all night!