A question I've been pondering

[schmitterling77]

Would the 10 year old version of you be happy with the person you've become?
you can answer as well, its just a question thats been on my mind a lot the past couple years

Lets preface this with where I saw myself when I was 10... I imagined I would have gone to Harvard and studied Marine Biology - YES I KNOW that Harvard is not big on Marine Biology

Comments

(rant, sorry) and

[audesapere]

i have just had extremely bad working experiences. e.g., the summer after my first year of college, i worked at this dry cleaners in parsippany for 60-70 hours a week, 12 hours a day plus Saturdays too. It was usually over 100 degrees in there - a laundry factory - since it wasn't air conditioned. I was not allowed to sit down, eat lunch, or use the bathroom. That summer I guess everyone else did enriching, gentle things, whatever it is rich people do. I scrubbed shit off of people's pants, and made $8 an hour for it. "quitting" or "bitching about the working conditions" were not options. i was the only person in my family with any income! the next summer I worked at Coldstone, which by comparison was sort of incredibly easy and wonderful (and cold), but it was still a terrible job. then the next summer i did cold-calling fundraising, then i worked at Copytalk. which was kafkaesque. i have never, ever, ever had a job i enjoy. i am probably not qualified for those jobs. those are only for rich people. i am poor. as far as i can tell, class is the one dividing factor in amerika today. all racism is classism, i have read, and i believe it. there is no more class mobility. the only people i truly hate are the rich, and i'm sure they feel the same way about me. i like that i have had the opportunity to study cinema. i do not like that i will likely never pay off my student loans. anyway. i don't know why i'm bringing all this up. although even in high school i was vaguely aware that i was poorer than most people - even when my family had money, i mean, my parents still grew up really poor - but the differences are intense now.

also, he's your husband, of course you spend too much time with him. ;-)

Re: (rant, sorry) and

[schmitterling77]

all good...I didn't know about what had happened to your parents, I knew something bad, but didn't know what exactly. Helps me understand more. Most jobs are terrible, especially looking back on them. I know my job looks cushy and wonderful to an outsider, but I'm miserable, so while its different I can still empathize. All I know is that a little money solves a lot of problems... a lot of money makes a lot of problems...

I hope that the next few years bring you much more happiness than you've had to this point. Let me know if I can help

Re: (rant, sorry) and

[audesapere]

i mean, yeah. you get to sit at a desk and you don't have to scrub anyone's shit or other bodily fluids off their clothes. i frankly have no sympathy at all, sorry. i mean, it sucks to be miserable, but it sucks more to be dirt poor and have no control over your life. period. you've never had to eat out of a trash can, have you??? i have. THAT is miserable. i am sorry if i sound bitchy. it's a bad morning already, and just thinking about money makes me sick to my stomach.
if i ever get a lot of money i'll get back to you on whether it creates problems. i anticipate dying young and poor. the only thing anyone can really do to help is pay off my student loans or something, and nobody can do that. oh, or get me a job. a job where i don't have to move again since not only do i not really want to, i can't afford to pack up my stuff and move it or buy new stuff.

Re: (rant, sorry) and

[schmitterling77]

some jobs will pay for your move...it doesn't answer every problem, but its a start, and NO I haven't been in your exact position and I ADMIT that but I DO know that when someone's unhappy they're gunna stay unhappy until something changes...thats the part I empathize with.

Re: (rant, sorry) and

[audesapere]

i'm not qualified for the jobs that will pay for your move - i idiotically majored in what i love, which means that i'm less than a dime a dozen, i'm worthless. nobody is going to pay for me to move across the country when 200 better-looking, better-connected people are right there. nobody cares about good writing anymore anyway.

i told my mother last weekend that there was no reason not to slit my wrists and she said she agreed.

anyway. i'm glad you empathize. a lot of people don't.

Re: (rant, sorry) and

[schmitterling77]

I disagree. I'd be very sad. I think you have an uncommon perspective and that can be used to the advantage of many.

Re: (rant, sorry) and

[audesapere]

nobody hires anyone for an uncommon perspective, it all just depends on who you know and who you blow. thanks though.

Re: (rant, sorry) and

[schmitterling77]

well you know me, i'm not much of an anybody, but if i'm still in this same group when you graduate, we're always hiring tech writers...its a start.

Re: (rant, sorry) and

[audesapere]

i'd imagine though that that would require an actual degree in technical writing, rather than any demonstrated writing skill. my mother has a degree in technical writing. please hire her instead. she still has to try to put my brother through college, too. goddamn this hideous capitalist hellhole of a country. in civilized countries, one is provided with health care and an education - you know, those things that are defined as basic human rights.

Re: (rant, sorry) and

[dracheitskara]

One of the million reasons I'm looking for a way out of this god forsaken country...