Turning 30
(Repost from The Unexpected Journal)
I am turning 30 tomorrow.
Just a little over 2 months ago my life was completely different, and heading in a direction I was really happy with. Happily married, one adorable little baby and a few more babies to come in the near future.
My biggest issue was deciding whether or not to have a little Birthday party. Everything was just mellow and good and happy.
Now...I am getting divorced and who the hell knows what lies ahead.
Sometimes it is exciting...I have this whole unknown future ahead of me...the sky is the limit...
But sometimes...fear takes over. Fear of the unknown. Fear that I will never have someone love me and FUCKING STAY!!! Fear that I will have no more beautiful wonderful happy little babies. Fear that I will not grow old with someone who thinks I am just as beautiful in my old age as I was when we first met...
For that matter...fear that no on will ever think I am beautiful again...
I hate fear!
So tomorrow I am facing something that has always scared me a bit...turning 30...getting older...
Perhaps I'll handle it with grace.
And if I can overcome this little fear...surely I can overcome the others...
So here's to a new chapter in my life - one where the future is completely unknown and anything is possible...
Here's to my 30th Birthday.
I am turning 30 tomorrow.
Just a little over 2 months ago my life was completely different, and heading in a direction I was really happy with. Happily married, one adorable little baby and a few more babies to come in the near future.
My biggest issue was deciding whether or not to have a little Birthday party. Everything was just mellow and good and happy.
Now...I am getting divorced and who the hell knows what lies ahead.
Sometimes it is exciting...I have this whole unknown future ahead of me...the sky is the limit...
But sometimes...fear takes over. Fear of the unknown. Fear that I will never have someone love me and FUCKING STAY!!! Fear that I will have no more beautiful wonderful happy little babies. Fear that I will not grow old with someone who thinks I am just as beautiful in my old age as I was when we first met...
For that matter...fear that no on will ever think I am beautiful again...
I hate fear!
So tomorrow I am facing something that has always scared me a bit...turning 30...getting older...
Perhaps I'll handle it with grace.
And if I can overcome this little fear...surely I can overcome the others...
So here's to a new chapter in my life - one where the future is completely unknown and anything is possible...
Here's to my 30th Birthday.