I thought this was funny...
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Predictions for 2008 from BorowitzReport.com
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January: After paying five billion dollars for The Wall Street
Journal, Rupert Murdoch will reduce the size of the paper by removing
the facts.
February: Responding to the controversy over the CIAs' waterboarding
videotapes, President Bush will reaffirm his administration's
opposition to videotaping.
March: As the writers strike drags on, Paramount will produce the
second "Transformers" film without a script, just like they did with
the first one.
April: Monica Lewinsky will announce her candidacy for President of
the United States. She will offer herself as an alternative to
Hillary, saying, "It worked before."
May: Attempting to bolster flagging enlistment rates, the Army will
change its recruitment slogan from "Army Strong" to "I Can't Believe
It's Not a Civil War."
June: Population experts will warn that the world's population will
soar in 2008, largely due to the Spears sisters.
July: China will send a new brand of rat poison to the United States
under the name "Delicious Cupcakes."
August: Sen. Edward Kennedy will abandon plans to write his memoirs,
explaining, "I can't even remember what I did last night."
September: At the Republican National Convention, G.O.P. nominee Mike
Huckabee will select Jesus Christ as his running mate.
October: O.J. Simpson will be convicted in Las Vegas, proving that it
is easier to get away with murder than stealing sports memorabilia.
November: President-elect Michael Bloomberg will defend the five-
billion-dollar cost of his campaign, arguing, "Rupert Murdoch paid
that much for The Wall Street Journal, and I get a whole country."
December: In his last official act, President Bush will announce an
exit strategy from Iraq. The President will withdraw all U.S. troops -
through Iran.
(Andy Borowitz http://www.borowitzreport.com 12/30/07)
--------------
Predictions for 2008 from BorowitzReport.com
--------------------------------------------
January: After paying five billion dollars for The Wall Street
Journal, Rupert Murdoch will reduce the size of the paper by removing
the facts.
February: Responding to the controversy over the CIAs' waterboarding
videotapes, President Bush will reaffirm his administration's
opposition to videotaping.
March: As the writers strike drags on, Paramount will produce the
second "Transformers" film without a script, just like they did with
the first one.
April: Monica Lewinsky will announce her candidacy for President of
the United States. She will offer herself as an alternative to
Hillary, saying, "It worked before."
May: Attempting to bolster flagging enlistment rates, the Army will
change its recruitment slogan from "Army Strong" to "I Can't Believe
It's Not a Civil War."
June: Population experts will warn that the world's population will
soar in 2008, largely due to the Spears sisters.
July: China will send a new brand of rat poison to the United States
under the name "Delicious Cupcakes."
August: Sen. Edward Kennedy will abandon plans to write his memoirs,
explaining, "I can't even remember what I did last night."
September: At the Republican National Convention, G.O.P. nominee Mike
Huckabee will select Jesus Christ as his running mate.
October: O.J. Simpson will be convicted in Las Vegas, proving that it
is easier to get away with murder than stealing sports memorabilia.
November: President-elect Michael Bloomberg will defend the five-
billion-dollar cost of his campaign, arguing, "Rupert Murdoch paid
that much for The Wall Street Journal, and I get a whole country."
December: In his last official act, President Bush will announce an
exit strategy from Iraq. The President will withdraw all U.S. troops -
through Iran.
(Andy Borowitz http://www.borowitzreport.com 12/30/07)