Too many things...
So I realize that I've been absent from lj a lot recently, not so much because of lack of time, but more because I feel myself shying away from serious introspection.
Now I've been sitting here staring at the screen for 10 minutes or so attempting to get my thoughts together.
Here, in classic maggielistform, are some things I know:
~It was the right decision to not sign up for another year of Americorps.
~I want to be able to find a job that I want, not just one that I take because it's open and I'm qualified.
~I don't know if this will be possible.
~I hate not knowing what's coming next more than I hate anything else in the world.
~I feel myself coming out of a long period of wanting to be solitary most of the time.
~I have lost contact with a lot of friends.
~I have many friends...people who I love to hang out with and laugh about stupid shit.
~I have few close friends who I am comfortable being an open, sometimes non-happyfunny maggie around.
~I need to change this.
~I met a woman who I have a huge fifthgraderidiculous crush on.
~I have no idea if she feels this way about me and I think it might be too early in the game to ask.
~I don't know what I will do if she doesn't.
~I have been working harder than ever on staying active and healthy.
~For some reason, my neck is rejecting this plan.
~I fucking hate my neck.
~I keep changing myself for other people.
~I don't know how to stop.
Now I've been sitting here staring at the screen for 10 minutes or so attempting to get my thoughts together.
Here, in classic maggielistform, are some things I know:
~It was the right decision to not sign up for another year of Americorps.
~I want to be able to find a job that I want, not just one that I take because it's open and I'm qualified.
~I don't know if this will be possible.
~I hate not knowing what's coming next more than I hate anything else in the world.
~I feel myself coming out of a long period of wanting to be solitary most of the time.
~I have lost contact with a lot of friends.
~I have many friends...people who I love to hang out with and laugh about stupid shit.
~I have few close friends who I am comfortable being an open, sometimes non-happyfunny maggie around.
~I need to change this.
~I met a woman who I have a huge fifthgraderidiculous crush on.
~I have no idea if she feels this way about me and I think it might be too early in the game to ask.
~I don't know what I will do if she doesn't.
~I have been working harder than ever on staying active and healthy.
~For some reason, my neck is rejecting this plan.
~I fucking hate my neck.
~I keep changing myself for other people.
~I don't know how to stop.