Journal Questions from another Miss I thought would be informative to explore
1.) What actions your Dom does have you noticed make you feel immediately submissive or small?
Obviously disappointed my dominant is one of the things that make me feel small. Being corrected in public can either make me feel small or submissive depending on how it is done. The things that make me feel submissive differ from SL to RL. Being leashed in real life automatically makes me feel submissive. As soon as I hear the click and feel the tug my full attention is on the dominant. I have ADHD and I have learned that I need an external stimulus to focus on when in crowds. I vanilla sittings holding my hand accomplishes the same thing. Shutting down my ability to speak in SL does much the same thing. I love to talk ...to my own determent sometimes but shutting me up gets my attention and reminds me I have a higher power.
What actions just annoy or irritate you?
Being ignored really annoys me if it goes on to long. Short term works as a punishment long term it just gets annoying.
Make you horny?
This is a tough one to answer for me because it is very dependent on circumstances. In RL, touching, particularly my neck and hair are instant turn ons and of course inside my thighs, lips on neck, genitals and nipples. SL is much more hit or miss. Really good descriptive RP can do it. Flirting can if done well. Describing what one intends to do to me before doing it can also work. And, as always, smart women have a much better shot at it. ;)
Make you resentful? Being ignored for significant periods of time. If SL is not an option for whatever reason, I'm really fine with emails or texts.
Afraid? Totally disappearing and not responding. I had a Domme who I could only communicate through SL. She stopped showing up one day two years ago now. I have no idea if she is dead or just left SL. One was enough to give me a fear of it.
Grateful?
A dominant that is interested in my growth, in our growth, and in our happiness together.
How could she recreate the good feelings in you and avoid the bad ones?
Good feelings are created by asking lots of questions and remembering the answers. But also by telling me what they want and pushing both our boundaries if it results in growth for one or both of us. One can avoid the bad feelings by avoiding my few limits.
Should she avoid the bad ones or do they help you grow?
I don't think bad ones should be avoided. I think in most cases there are ways to work through the bad ones and learn ultimately that they are not so bad. My partner, acting as my dominant 'forced' me to have sex with a guy, it was my first time. I learned it wasn't bad at all, but I never would have tried it without being forced to do it. It wasn't a limit but it was a 0 on a scale of ) to 5 of 'want to try.' It helped me conquer a fear that I would have had forever if I hadn't been ordered to do so.
2.) Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore?
Yes there are several floating in my mind now.
Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you?
I do not know where some of them come from and in that way they confuse me. Some of them push way outside my comfort zone but therein lies growth, which usually comes with at least a little fear.
Do they excite you?
Of course that is the nature of such things, they incite equal parts fear and excitement. The dominant provides the impetus for growth. Sometimes it is in areas where the Domme has feared to tread and the sub provides a safe place for them to tread in their fear zones. Dom/Sub relationships are in essence equal when tey work best. Where both parties are pushed and learn and grow. As experienced as I am, there are many areas that I haved feared to trod...areas where a good leader can safely lead me through. On the other hand I have done some things that are truly daunting to most dominants and I provide a safe place for them to push their own experiences.
Obviously disappointed my dominant is one of the things that make me feel small. Being corrected in public can either make me feel small or submissive depending on how it is done. The things that make me feel submissive differ from SL to RL. Being leashed in real life automatically makes me feel submissive. As soon as I hear the click and feel the tug my full attention is on the dominant. I have ADHD and I have learned that I need an external stimulus to focus on when in crowds. I vanilla sittings holding my hand accomplishes the same thing. Shutting down my ability to speak in SL does much the same thing. I love to talk ...to my own determent sometimes but shutting me up gets my attention and reminds me I have a higher power.
What actions just annoy or irritate you?
Being ignored really annoys me if it goes on to long. Short term works as a punishment long term it just gets annoying.
Make you horny?
This is a tough one to answer for me because it is very dependent on circumstances. In RL, touching, particularly my neck and hair are instant turn ons and of course inside my thighs, lips on neck, genitals and nipples. SL is much more hit or miss. Really good descriptive RP can do it. Flirting can if done well. Describing what one intends to do to me before doing it can also work. And, as always, smart women have a much better shot at it. ;)
Make you resentful? Being ignored for significant periods of time. If SL is not an option for whatever reason, I'm really fine with emails or texts.
Afraid? Totally disappearing and not responding. I had a Domme who I could only communicate through SL. She stopped showing up one day two years ago now. I have no idea if she is dead or just left SL. One was enough to give me a fear of it.
Grateful?
A dominant that is interested in my growth, in our growth, and in our happiness together.
How could she recreate the good feelings in you and avoid the bad ones?
Good feelings are created by asking lots of questions and remembering the answers. But also by telling me what they want and pushing both our boundaries if it results in growth for one or both of us. One can avoid the bad feelings by avoiding my few limits.
Should she avoid the bad ones or do they help you grow?
I don't think bad ones should be avoided. I think in most cases there are ways to work through the bad ones and learn ultimately that they are not so bad. My partner, acting as my dominant 'forced' me to have sex with a guy, it was my first time. I learned it wasn't bad at all, but I never would have tried it without being forced to do it. It wasn't a limit but it was a 0 on a scale of ) to 5 of 'want to try.' It helped me conquer a fear that I would have had forever if I hadn't been ordered to do so.
2.) Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore?
Yes there are several floating in my mind now.
Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you?
I do not know where some of them come from and in that way they confuse me. Some of them push way outside my comfort zone but therein lies growth, which usually comes with at least a little fear.
Do they excite you?
Of course that is the nature of such things, they incite equal parts fear and excitement. The dominant provides the impetus for growth. Sometimes it is in areas where the Domme has feared to tread and the sub provides a safe place for them to tread in their fear zones. Dom/Sub relationships are in essence equal when tey work best. Where both parties are pushed and learn and grow. As experienced as I am, there are many areas that I haved feared to trod...areas where a good leader can safely lead me through. On the other hand I have done some things that are truly daunting to most dominants and I provide a safe place for them to push their own experiences.