That's all folks.
It's permanent now.
Miriam and I are officially over.
She came over today and we talked a little and then I asked her about us. We cried and we held each other.
It's a strange experience.
I'm still not completely sure why exactly we're over. I think it's part depression she is dealing with, part stress on the state our relationship existed in, (Me not being involved at all with her family because her Father wants nothing to do with me), part her going to Australia, and part I think she wants to experience other people in the world. Which is fine. Really it is, I want her to be happy in life and if that is what does make her happy then I am glad.
I begin to wonder if maybe I wasn't happy with the relationship. I seemed to only be focusing on the good of our relationship and not the bad. We had broken up briefly when we first started dating as me not being able to be involved with her and her family bothered me. But I came to overlook that and figured it wasn't hurting us at the moment then we would be okay. In reality though, Miriam has had to lead two lives. One with her family and one with me. It isn't fair to either of us, and this should've been something I considered more as our relationship went on.
If she comes back I will gladly accept her back at this point and probably for a while to come, though changes would need to happen with her family and I. She doesn't want me to wait for her for fear of delaying hurting me, but in a way I am going to wait.
Since high school I have had, at most, a three month break in-between my relationships and I think I really need to take the summer out for myself. I guess I'm optimistic like that. I need to take this time and do things for me. I have a "bad" habit about putting others always before my needs and I suppose I could use some maintenance.
P.S.: I somehow locked my keys in the car. Excellent.
Miriam and I are officially over.
She came over today and we talked a little and then I asked her about us. We cried and we held each other.
It's a strange experience.
I'm still not completely sure why exactly we're over. I think it's part depression she is dealing with, part stress on the state our relationship existed in, (Me not being involved at all with her family because her Father wants nothing to do with me), part her going to Australia, and part I think she wants to experience other people in the world. Which is fine. Really it is, I want her to be happy in life and if that is what does make her happy then I am glad.
I begin to wonder if maybe I wasn't happy with the relationship. I seemed to only be focusing on the good of our relationship and not the bad. We had broken up briefly when we first started dating as me not being able to be involved with her and her family bothered me. But I came to overlook that and figured it wasn't hurting us at the moment then we would be okay. In reality though, Miriam has had to lead two lives. One with her family and one with me. It isn't fair to either of us, and this should've been something I considered more as our relationship went on.
If she comes back I will gladly accept her back at this point and probably for a while to come, though changes would need to happen with her family and I. She doesn't want me to wait for her for fear of delaying hurting me, but in a way I am going to wait.
Since high school I have had, at most, a three month break in-between my relationships and I think I really need to take the summer out for myself. I guess I'm optimistic like that. I need to take this time and do things for me. I have a "bad" habit about putting others always before my needs and I suppose I could use some maintenance.
P.S.: I somehow locked my keys in the car. Excellent.