A little originality, please?
Dear writer,
So you've decided to re-imagine the movie Newsies as though Jack had a Mary Sue sister who, based on your summary, probably ends up with David. Okay, fine.
But copying the entire movie script and simply forcing in a few lines about your Mary Sue OC? That is not fine. At least have the decency to actually write your own dialogue. Since you're adding a new character, why not add new scenes? Maybe Jack's sister decides to sell with Blink and they get into some wacky, wild adventure. Maybe she goes to Queens to get the newsies there to join the strike and we get to see that from her point of view.
Either way, please do not expect me to gush over your story when it consists of 90% stolen words.
So you've decided to re-imagine the movie Newsies as though Jack had a Mary Sue sister who, based on your summary, probably ends up with David. Okay, fine.
But copying the entire movie script and simply forcing in a few lines about your Mary Sue OC? That is not fine. At least have the decency to actually write your own dialogue. Since you're adding a new character, why not add new scenes? Maybe Jack's sister decides to sell with Blink and they get into some wacky, wild adventure. Maybe she goes to Queens to get the newsies there to join the strike and we get to see that from her point of view.
Either way, please do not expect me to gush over your story when it consists of 90% stolen words.