Why you should listen to Eight/Charley audios pt 2
Scherzo is an episode where it has to be done on audio. Charley and the Doctor are in a whole new universe. The Divergent Universe to be precise. And the first place they land is a place where they cannot use any of their senses except for hearing. They can’t feel each other holding each others hands. They can’t see anything, they just keep walking and walking. That might sound boring, and it probably would be except for the char driven plot. It’s impossible for you not to get emotional about things like this. The Doctor is ruthless in this audio, and so heartbreaking. They both are.
Doctor: This shouldn’t be how it ends. I should have had the universe to explore. Or death. One or the other, that’s all I wanted and it’s your fault.
Charley: Doctor!
Doctor: If it weren’t for you, I’d be dead or alive, not this half way point. If it weren’t for you - WHY ARE YOU HERE, CHARLEY?
Charley: But I don’t -
Doctor: WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME?
Charley: What do you want with me? You’re the one who rescued me in the first place. You were the one who took me aboard your TARDIS. What did you do it for? If I have so obviously ruined everything for you. If you really think that.. why did you bother?
Doctor: It’s a good question. You will have realized of course that you’re not really the only human who has traveled with me in the TARDIS.
Charley: Yes well, I hardly expected to be your first.
Doctor: The Time Lords often wondered why I bothered. After all, we are capable of living for thousands of years, you can barely reach a hundred. And they came up with a theory, do you want to know what it is?
Charley: You need friendship, companionship. You must get lonely, traveling the universe with no one to share it with.
Doctor: They thought you were all memento mori.
Charley: What?
Doctor: Reminders of death. Quite common things, really. On medieval earth, courtiers would often keep skulls on their mantle pieces. They were very much the in thing. No matter how powerful you were, death was inevitable. You still had to remember your mortality. And Time Lords need to remember all the more. I denied that was the reason, of course. And as you said, friendship, companionship. But over the years. Over my many lifetimes, as my friends all left me one by one, I began to wonder whether they really might have had a point after all. Especially when I found you, Charley. A companion who was already dead. The ultimate Time Lord fashion accessory.
Charley: That’s what I was to you? Something to kick against your vanity?
Doctor: I didn’t expect to care for you as much as I did. That was my mistake. When it came to it, with the web of time hanging in the balance, having to make a choice between you and the universe, I’d say hang the web of time. You’re more important. Let the universe rot. Charley, you’re worth more than all that. I sacrificed myself for you, to save your life. And I did it gladly. I thought I’d never see you again, but it wouldn’t matter so long as I knew you were safe.
Charley: I don’t understand.. you’re saying you did care for me after all? That you… loved me.
Doctor: OF COURSE I LOVED YOU. I KILLED MYSELF FOR YOU, DIDN’T I? Of course I loved you… Of course I love you.
Charley: Doctor..
Doctor: Quiet, just listen. But you’re not safe, are you? You followed me in. So what was the point of my sacrifice? What was the point? After all these years of memento mori, to find myself finally loving a friend, someone who meant that much more to me. What was the point of that journey if I died for nothing? I killed myself for you, so you could live. And yet here you are.
Charley: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize..
Doctor: You betrayed me. You betrayed all that I gave up for you. And I can’t forgive you that, not yet. I - well I’m not sure I can ever forgive you that.
Charley: But if you love me, then you understand why I had to come with you. Why I couldn’t be left behind. Because I love you, too. I need you. I couldn’t go on without you.
Doctor: I shouldn’t have let you love me, it’s killed you.
Charley: No -
Doctor: I’ve murdered you.
Charley: No, no! Whatever has happened is better this way.
Doctor: Your love for me has killed you, just as mine for you has killed me. What was the point of all that love? What was it for?
Charley: Doctor, no! Don’t be angry with me.
Doctor: I never wanted to see you again. You understand?
Charley: Yes I.. understand.
Doctor: Seeing you again would mean I failed. I have failed. I would have given anything to save you. I gave everything.
Charley: I know! But I didn’t want it! If I couldn’t have you too, I’m.. sorry.
Doctor: Everything.
Charley: I’m sorry.
Doctor: I’m not sure that I wish I’d never met you at all.
Charley: Oh Doctor..
Doctor: I’m not sure. I’m sorry.
Charley: You will let me know when you make up your mind. Because I’m here now.
Doctor: Yes, you’re here now.
Charley: For better or for worse.
Doctor: Till death.
Doctor: This shouldn’t be how it ends. I should have had the universe to explore. Or death. One or the other, that’s all I wanted and it’s your fault.
Charley: Doctor!
Doctor: If it weren’t for you, I’d be dead or alive, not this half way point. If it weren’t for you - WHY ARE YOU HERE, CHARLEY?
Charley: But I don’t -
Doctor: WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME?
Charley: What do you want with me? You’re the one who rescued me in the first place. You were the one who took me aboard your TARDIS. What did you do it for? If I have so obviously ruined everything for you. If you really think that.. why did you bother?
Doctor: It’s a good question. You will have realized of course that you’re not really the only human who has traveled with me in the TARDIS.
Charley: Yes well, I hardly expected to be your first.
Doctor: The Time Lords often wondered why I bothered. After all, we are capable of living for thousands of years, you can barely reach a hundred. And they came up with a theory, do you want to know what it is?
Charley: You need friendship, companionship. You must get lonely, traveling the universe with no one to share it with.
Doctor: They thought you were all memento mori.
Charley: What?
Doctor: Reminders of death. Quite common things, really. On medieval earth, courtiers would often keep skulls on their mantle pieces. They were very much the in thing. No matter how powerful you were, death was inevitable. You still had to remember your mortality. And Time Lords need to remember all the more. I denied that was the reason, of course. And as you said, friendship, companionship. But over the years. Over my many lifetimes, as my friends all left me one by one, I began to wonder whether they really might have had a point after all. Especially when I found you, Charley. A companion who was already dead. The ultimate Time Lord fashion accessory.
Charley: That’s what I was to you? Something to kick against your vanity?
Doctor: I didn’t expect to care for you as much as I did. That was my mistake. When it came to it, with the web of time hanging in the balance, having to make a choice between you and the universe, I’d say hang the web of time. You’re more important. Let the universe rot. Charley, you’re worth more than all that. I sacrificed myself for you, to save your life. And I did it gladly. I thought I’d never see you again, but it wouldn’t matter so long as I knew you were safe.
Charley: I don’t understand.. you’re saying you did care for me after all? That you… loved me.
Doctor: OF COURSE I LOVED YOU. I KILLED MYSELF FOR YOU, DIDN’T I? Of course I loved you… Of course I love you.
Charley: Doctor..
Doctor: Quiet, just listen. But you’re not safe, are you? You followed me in. So what was the point of my sacrifice? What was the point? After all these years of memento mori, to find myself finally loving a friend, someone who meant that much more to me. What was the point of that journey if I died for nothing? I killed myself for you, so you could live. And yet here you are.
Charley: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize..
Doctor: You betrayed me. You betrayed all that I gave up for you. And I can’t forgive you that, not yet. I - well I’m not sure I can ever forgive you that.
Charley: But if you love me, then you understand why I had to come with you. Why I couldn’t be left behind. Because I love you, too. I need you. I couldn’t go on without you.
Doctor: I shouldn’t have let you love me, it’s killed you.
Charley: No -
Doctor: I’ve murdered you.
Charley: No, no! Whatever has happened is better this way.
Doctor: Your love for me has killed you, just as mine for you has killed me. What was the point of all that love? What was it for?
Charley: Doctor, no! Don’t be angry with me.
Doctor: I never wanted to see you again. You understand?
Charley: Yes I.. understand.
Doctor: Seeing you again would mean I failed. I have failed. I would have given anything to save you. I gave everything.
Charley: I know! But I didn’t want it! If I couldn’t have you too, I’m.. sorry.
Doctor: Everything.
Charley: I’m sorry.
Doctor: I’m not sure that I wish I’d never met you at all.
Charley: Oh Doctor..
Doctor: I’m not sure. I’m sorry.
Charley: You will let me know when you make up your mind. Because I’m here now.
Doctor: Yes, you’re here now.
Charley: For better or for worse.
Doctor: Till death.