Sound and Silence...
There is so much wrong, that I have forgotten what right feels like.
As some of you know, Mom took another turn for the worse today...And basically, the doctors have decided that they're going to send her to hospice. I think Complimentary put it best when she said "It's like handing them a death sentance..." I don't remember if that's the exact quote or not, and if it isn't...Forgive me, Max...But it's truth. They're basically saying that there's no hope for her to make it...They're shrugging their shoulders and giving up...And until a couple hours ago, I was ready to give up too.
But, then I thought about it. She's my mother...She gave me life. For 27 years, she has stood behind me in every way she could and helped me fight this gawd-damned mental illness. Even when I was attempting suicide every other week, she was right there, loving and supporting me...Even when she didn't understand...Even when everyone else had given up...She didn't. She never gave up on me...Why the fuck would I give up on her?
She very well might not make it...I'm aware of this. Too fucking aware, to tell you the truth. But in the end...When she does leave this world...I want to know in my very soul that I fought for her to stay with me as long, and as hard as I possibly could.
I'm done being a pussy, and giving up when things get rough. I'm done throwing my hands up and settling for the easiest solution. The easiest solution isn't always the best solution.
So, those doctors can throw in the fucking towel if they so choose...But, as for me? I'm gonna stand strong. I'm gonna fight the good fight. I'm not going to give up.
I'm going to make My Mommy proud
Tonight's Mraz-quote:
If I can leave you with anything new to learn from this rampaged random page of randomness, it’s that I beg you to pay attention to coincidences. People who appear in your life for the simplest of reasons usually offer us the best clues on what to do with our lives.
As some of you know, Mom took another turn for the worse today...And basically, the doctors have decided that they're going to send her to hospice. I think Complimentary put it best when she said "It's like handing them a death sentance..." I don't remember if that's the exact quote or not, and if it isn't...Forgive me, Max...But it's truth. They're basically saying that there's no hope for her to make it...They're shrugging their shoulders and giving up...And until a couple hours ago, I was ready to give up too.
But, then I thought about it. She's my mother...She gave me life. For 27 years, she has stood behind me in every way she could and helped me fight this gawd-damned mental illness. Even when I was attempting suicide every other week, she was right there, loving and supporting me...Even when she didn't understand...Even when everyone else had given up...She didn't. She never gave up on me...Why the fuck would I give up on her?
She very well might not make it...I'm aware of this. Too fucking aware, to tell you the truth. But in the end...When she does leave this world...I want to know in my very soul that I fought for her to stay with me as long, and as hard as I possibly could.
I'm done being a pussy, and giving up when things get rough. I'm done throwing my hands up and settling for the easiest solution. The easiest solution isn't always the best solution.
So, those doctors can throw in the fucking towel if they so choose...But, as for me? I'm gonna stand strong. I'm gonna fight the good fight. I'm not going to give up.
I'm going to make My Mommy proud
Tonight's Mraz-quote:
If I can leave you with anything new to learn from this rampaged random page of randomness, it’s that I beg you to pay attention to coincidences. People who appear in your life for the simplest of reasons usually offer us the best clues on what to do with our lives.