(no subject)
(This is an open letter I will one day be brave enough to confront the referred person with.)
And I know that this is just that kind of situation that has no other solution. We are now now stuck at this point where all has lost hope for the two of us and the universe just isn't conspiring to make our friendship work the way we want it, or the way we swore it would always be.
What happened to our joint and individual dreams alike? Our small visions? Our big hopes and aspirations? Where have three years' of talks, tears, laughter, smiles, joys, pains, and sadness gone? Why have they all just seem to have evaporated right in front of our noses, so slowly gradually and slowly, until both of us ended up too ignorant and unaffected to actually care?
Whose fault was it? Was it mine, with my moody setbacks and naturally pessmistic nature, that drove you away? Or perhaps it was yours, with your often-occurring insensitivity and everything that follows? I don't want to blame you nor I for what happened - or at least, what did not happen. We both know we have a fault in it, and that the damage has just become too irreparable at this point.
I'M GIVING UP.
I'M LETTING GO.
I'M SAYING GOOD-BYE.
But of course, not before thanking you for being a good friend earlier on in our relationship. You were one of my best friends, after all. You made a really good one before we began to fall apart. Before you began to forget and before I began to be indifferent and ignorant. No matter how hard we've tried to bring back what we were, deep in me, I know that it just isn't possible.
And it's not only my pessimistic side speaking out this time. I'm using everything possible - my mind, my heart, my memories, and my sense. You and I just didn't boil down to much in the end, and I honestly don't know what I would've preferred had I had a choice - whether we would boil down to something bitter and bad, or whether we would boil down to nothing at all.
I'd rather much have us boiled down to the former. I feel both bitter and bad now that the latter has happened. Sayang talaga tayo.
I loved you, and I'm still going to be here. As a friend. No strings attached, and no extra words and phrasings too.
FRIEND.
And I know that this is just that kind of situation that has no other solution. We are now now stuck at this point where all has lost hope for the two of us and the universe just isn't conspiring to make our friendship work the way we want it, or the way we swore it would always be.
What happened to our joint and individual dreams alike? Our small visions? Our big hopes and aspirations? Where have three years' of talks, tears, laughter, smiles, joys, pains, and sadness gone? Why have they all just seem to have evaporated right in front of our noses, so slowly gradually and slowly, until both of us ended up too ignorant and unaffected to actually care?
Whose fault was it? Was it mine, with my moody setbacks and naturally pessmistic nature, that drove you away? Or perhaps it was yours, with your often-occurring insensitivity and everything that follows? I don't want to blame you nor I for what happened - or at least, what did not happen. We both know we have a fault in it, and that the damage has just become too irreparable at this point.
I'M GIVING UP.
I'M LETTING GO.
I'M SAYING GOOD-BYE.
But of course, not before thanking you for being a good friend earlier on in our relationship. You were one of my best friends, after all. You made a really good one before we began to fall apart. Before you began to forget and before I began to be indifferent and ignorant. No matter how hard we've tried to bring back what we were, deep in me, I know that it just isn't possible.
And it's not only my pessimistic side speaking out this time. I'm using everything possible - my mind, my heart, my memories, and my sense. You and I just didn't boil down to much in the end, and I honestly don't know what I would've preferred had I had a choice - whether we would boil down to something bitter and bad, or whether we would boil down to nothing at all.
I'd rather much have us boiled down to the former. I feel both bitter and bad now that the latter has happened. Sayang talaga tayo.
I loved you, and I'm still going to be here. As a friend. No strings attached, and no extra words and phrasings too.
FRIEND.