Deep thoughts....
It was a realization today that I have a desire to know peoples hearts. I often find myself looking at people... just looking. Like, I'm trying to figure out what kind of person they are. And, I think- sometimes i see it. And that's where compassion comes in. because as soon as I see a person for who they really are. I can't help but see their pain
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I definitely think that God has given you a gift to be able to see the hurt in others. I think that because of this, you want to be able to get to know them more and try and help them through the pain.
I also think that there is a certain joy that comes from using your spiritual gifts. For me, when I am serving others, it makes me happy. I think that the same goes for you too. When you are getting to know others, having compassion on them, it gives you joy too. When we use the talents and gifts that God has given us, he likes that, and in turn, we have joy.
I think that there could be 2 reasons as to why you feel drawn to people your age and younger. One is that those are the people that you are around the most with school and church stuff. Also could it be that God has given you a passion for people in that age group and you are just following that passion...maybe without realizing it? Part of it could also be that you do feel more distant from adults...just some thoughts.
As Adam said, feeling loved is just part of our natural desires. Feeling loved brings to joy to most people. It is in every living human being to want to love and to be loved, it gives a sense of community and fitting in. That is shown in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. With the jr. high boys, I think that it is because you care so much for them, you don't want to see them get hurt, and that causes you to want them to accept what you have to offer them and love you back. I think that any person that you invest in, you want to receive love back kind of as an affirmation that what you say and do really is important to them. Also, relationships aren't one way. So if you are pouring yourself into these boys, you want to get something back whether that is what you consciously want or not, it is natural human desire.
I do think that some of these thoughts might be because of you are afraid that you might become like him. When something like that happens you want to avoid it at all possible costs and you are driven by the fear behind it. I think that the fear is something that you need to pray about and ask God to help you in this area. And I am not saying that prayer will solve everything, it is just something that should be done.
Hopefully some of this at least makes some sense, sorry it is so long.
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