oh crap....
Here we go... you might as well stop reading now, cuz you really don't want to read anymore.. but i'm going to write it anyway.. just because i can.. and maybe need to
I'm not happy with myself tonight
I'm pretty pissed. I really don't like all of this.
I screwed up... i guess, i screwed up a lot. I don't think i did this all right. I feel like a failure. I hate the looks i get from people... but maybe those looks are only in my imagination. I hate feeling like this.
I know that i'm not a good friend. I know that, because i don't have many.. or once again back to my thought of what makes a friend? someone i can talk to? someone I FEEL close to? Grr... I hate this.
I know people will give me all good loving responses.. but that doesn't make it different.
I'm rambling. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.
I don't know how i feel. I just know that I hate this. WHY SO MUCH STRESS????
gosh! I feel so much like crap right now...
I mentioned to someone the other day that i was a deep person.... I changed my mind... I think that's crap. I'm a shallow person. I don't get close to people.. .because i'm stupid. And the ones i am close to, I know they get sick of me. I've definitely recently been starting to make excuses not to go places with people... because I know I'm annoying.. I'm loud, obnoxious, negative, definitely not fun, unrealistic, not interesting, shallow, harsh, mean... I know i've forgotten something... OH YEAH! DEPRESSIVE!...
grr... I don't know... I give up!
I'm not happy with myself tonight
I'm pretty pissed. I really don't like all of this.
I screwed up... i guess, i screwed up a lot. I don't think i did this all right. I feel like a failure. I hate the looks i get from people... but maybe those looks are only in my imagination. I hate feeling like this.
I know that i'm not a good friend. I know that, because i don't have many.. or once again back to my thought of what makes a friend? someone i can talk to? someone I FEEL close to? Grr... I hate this.
I know people will give me all good loving responses.. but that doesn't make it different.
I'm rambling. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.
I don't know how i feel. I just know that I hate this. WHY SO MUCH STRESS????
gosh! I feel so much like crap right now...
I mentioned to someone the other day that i was a deep person.... I changed my mind... I think that's crap. I'm a shallow person. I don't get close to people.. .because i'm stupid. And the ones i am close to, I know they get sick of me. I've definitely recently been starting to make excuses not to go places with people... because I know I'm annoying.. I'm loud, obnoxious, negative, definitely not fun, unrealistic, not interesting, shallow, harsh, mean... I know i've forgotten something... OH YEAH! DEPRESSIVE!...
grr... I don't know... I give up!