bit by bit, torn apart, never win but the battle wages on....
Here it has come. The culmination of two years of roller coaster rides, the ending of two years of guessing, second guessing, loving, fighting, hating, loving, confusing, dancing, maturing, growing, loving.....this is the end scene. Our time for now is spent, our time for now is over. I will not falter, I will not return because I'm lonely, and that I need someone.
I do need someone, but I won't let myself give in so easily anymore. I can manage on my own, strong, independent, focusing on my career now, the other two passions out of the current three. Sadly enough, timing was not right...and as a result, something that could have been beautiful and absolutely amazing must be cast aside for the current moment. I find myself at times thinking about those what if's...what I would do if something would have happened...what I would say, how I would surprise her.....ah... no matter, It is forced to live in the back of my mind for now...I have to respect her wishes, and concentrate on accomplishing everything that I want to. Sadly enough, fate is going to have to take the reigns on this one. And thats someone that I don't like giving the reigns to very often. but it calls, it beckons for me to do so...so I will.
I will focus on the goals that I have set out for myself, and accomplish them and see how the future plays out.
Will I ever be with Andrea again? Right now, at this moment, I will not return to her. not again. But the distant future? who knows what tomorrow holds...who knows...there are things that would have to happen....but thats years down the line. I will return to my room and my family and friends...and enjoy there company.
Do I want someone to love? yes.
I have other things to think about now, though and maybe I'll find someone by doing those and letting others live their respective lives.
Sitting in the darkness, watching the snowfall gently onto the ground soothes the hell out of you, and clears your mind for a moment....making you almost forget feelings, problems...etc....
Alas, I will find my muse...but I must first develop myself.
My mind is clear on what it must do, now its just getting my heart to stop thinking and go along with it....
drudgingly, it conforms.......
and I walk along a snow lit path.
I do need someone, but I won't let myself give in so easily anymore. I can manage on my own, strong, independent, focusing on my career now, the other two passions out of the current three. Sadly enough, timing was not right...and as a result, something that could have been beautiful and absolutely amazing must be cast aside for the current moment. I find myself at times thinking about those what if's...what I would do if something would have happened...what I would say, how I would surprise her.....ah... no matter, It is forced to live in the back of my mind for now...I have to respect her wishes, and concentrate on accomplishing everything that I want to. Sadly enough, fate is going to have to take the reigns on this one. And thats someone that I don't like giving the reigns to very often. but it calls, it beckons for me to do so...so I will.
I will focus on the goals that I have set out for myself, and accomplish them and see how the future plays out.
Will I ever be with Andrea again? Right now, at this moment, I will not return to her. not again. But the distant future? who knows what tomorrow holds...who knows...there are things that would have to happen....but thats years down the line. I will return to my room and my family and friends...and enjoy there company.
Do I want someone to love? yes.
I have other things to think about now, though and maybe I'll find someone by doing those and letting others live their respective lives.
Sitting in the darkness, watching the snowfall gently onto the ground soothes the hell out of you, and clears your mind for a moment....making you almost forget feelings, problems...etc....
Alas, I will find my muse...but I must first develop myself.
My mind is clear on what it must do, now its just getting my heart to stop thinking and go along with it....
drudgingly, it conforms.......
and I walk along a snow lit path.