Why I Hate Relationships
last night is a prime example of why i hate getting into relationships.
granted, i was drinking, and that never ends good.
but i did not start the fight and i did nothing to cause a fight.
people say that i make cutting remarks, that i'm a bitch.
which i will grant you is true.
however, men are a billion times worse when it comes to crushing your emotions.
they think that they can just walk all over you and then fuck you at the end of the night.
well last night was the end of that.
first, he cuts me off.
then he tries to tell me what to do.
then he gets mad that i was talking to laura where he couldn't find me.
then he blames me for not waking him up earlier.
he told raney that it's all my fault.
he told raney that he'll just blame me.
while i was sitting right between them.
then he gets pissed that jess is coming to visit.
it's not like i'm going to fuck her.
god, i don't understand what he's so worried about.
i fucking love him.
i fucking chose him.
how does he not see this?
so then raney comes downstairs and sits on the porch.
and then cathy runs off.
and raney said it was because they had a huge fight about committment.
and pete says something to the effect of 'i know how you feel'.
just because raney was whining about being trapped.
which he's not.
neither of them are.
i don't understand what prompts men to hurt me.
you would think that these guys would worship the ground we walk on.
especially pete.
i pay for everything for him.
he pays for nothing.
all i'm asking for is a thank you once in a while.
or a foot rub when i get home.
or just for him to say 'i love you' to me as soon as he sees me.
or just for him to say 'i love you'.
without prompting.
so i walked upstairs after that was said by pete.
and i told him that he could sleep where he wants now.
and i went to bed.
apparently he slept on the porch last night and is now gone.
i left him a message to meet me tonight at 10:45 on my front porch.
and i told him if he doesn't show up, then he shouldn't bother coming back.
it's fair enough.
considering the amount of shit i put up with daily for him.
i'm tired of bending over backwards.
i work all day and then he expects me to clean our room.
what does he do all day?
sleep and smoke weed.
he's so busy that he can't lift a finger to help me out.
i do his fucking laundry.
i fucking take care of him when he's sick.
i let him off the hook because it's hot outside.
what more does he want from me?
what other sacrifice can i make?
how will he know that i love him when i can't prove it without destroying myself?
when is it my turn to receive the sacrifices?
why does he not treat me the same way that i treat him?
granted, i was drinking, and that never ends good.
but i did not start the fight and i did nothing to cause a fight.
people say that i make cutting remarks, that i'm a bitch.
which i will grant you is true.
however, men are a billion times worse when it comes to crushing your emotions.
they think that they can just walk all over you and then fuck you at the end of the night.
well last night was the end of that.
first, he cuts me off.
then he tries to tell me what to do.
then he gets mad that i was talking to laura where he couldn't find me.
then he blames me for not waking him up earlier.
he told raney that it's all my fault.
he told raney that he'll just blame me.
while i was sitting right between them.
then he gets pissed that jess is coming to visit.
it's not like i'm going to fuck her.
god, i don't understand what he's so worried about.
i fucking love him.
i fucking chose him.
how does he not see this?
so then raney comes downstairs and sits on the porch.
and then cathy runs off.
and raney said it was because they had a huge fight about committment.
and pete says something to the effect of 'i know how you feel'.
just because raney was whining about being trapped.
which he's not.
neither of them are.
i don't understand what prompts men to hurt me.
you would think that these guys would worship the ground we walk on.
especially pete.
i pay for everything for him.
he pays for nothing.
all i'm asking for is a thank you once in a while.
or a foot rub when i get home.
or just for him to say 'i love you' to me as soon as he sees me.
or just for him to say 'i love you'.
without prompting.
so i walked upstairs after that was said by pete.
and i told him that he could sleep where he wants now.
and i went to bed.
apparently he slept on the porch last night and is now gone.
i left him a message to meet me tonight at 10:45 on my front porch.
and i told him if he doesn't show up, then he shouldn't bother coming back.
it's fair enough.
considering the amount of shit i put up with daily for him.
i'm tired of bending over backwards.
i work all day and then he expects me to clean our room.
what does he do all day?
sleep and smoke weed.
he's so busy that he can't lift a finger to help me out.
i do his fucking laundry.
i fucking take care of him when he's sick.
i let him off the hook because it's hot outside.
what more does he want from me?
what other sacrifice can i make?
how will he know that i love him when i can't prove it without destroying myself?
when is it my turn to receive the sacrifices?
why does he not treat me the same way that i treat him?