A reflection...
It's been a week and a day since I took Mahwah in that Thursday morning. A
part of me knew what I would hear from the vet - the rest of me wouldn't
listen. I think that is why I didn't ask anyone to go with me even though
Dave would have been available. The vet said that she was sorry that I was
there by myself for this. But that it takes a strong soul to do the right
thing and sometimes there aren't others that are strong enough. I think
that I could have found a handful of people that would have gone with me if
available. But I figured that I could do it myself. The only person that I
would have liked to have been there was dskull since he was the
other person that helped raise her to the spoiled princess she was. Though
that was impossible with him being in Vegas.
So, I did the right thing for Mahwah... I regretted it that night, when I
was acting selfish, and wanted her back with me. I know that it was because
I didn't want to deal with her being gone and the fact that ultimately I had
to make the choice - no one else was going to. So, maybe it was pity on
myself that made me sad as well. Overall, it was because I lost a dear
friend and loved one.
Thinking of her still makes me cry. I miss her and that isn't going to
change. (I feel like a goofball crying in my cube while typing this!
*shrugs*) But as you all have agreed, she knew she was loved and she will
be missed by everyone she ever took a raisin from, bit their "sock
monsters", crawled into their clothes, played in bags with (especially snowbird42), and other such ferrety fun. *smiles* I just have to
accept my tears and continue to think of all of the happy times - so they
are happy tears.
C'est la vie...
part of me knew what I would hear from the vet - the rest of me wouldn't
listen. I think that is why I didn't ask anyone to go with me even though
Dave would have been available. The vet said that she was sorry that I was
there by myself for this. But that it takes a strong soul to do the right
thing and sometimes there aren't others that are strong enough. I think
that I could have found a handful of people that would have gone with me if
available. But I figured that I could do it myself. The only person that I
would have liked to have been there was dskull since he was the
other person that helped raise her to the spoiled princess she was. Though
that was impossible with him being in Vegas.
So, I did the right thing for Mahwah... I regretted it that night, when I
was acting selfish, and wanted her back with me. I know that it was because
I didn't want to deal with her being gone and the fact that ultimately I had
to make the choice - no one else was going to. So, maybe it was pity on
myself that made me sad as well. Overall, it was because I lost a dear
friend and loved one.
Thinking of her still makes me cry. I miss her and that isn't going to
change. (I feel like a goofball crying in my cube while typing this!
*shrugs*) But as you all have agreed, she knew she was loved and she will
be missed by everyone she ever took a raisin from, bit their "sock
monsters", crawled into their clothes, played in bags with (especially snowbird42), and other such ferrety fun. *smiles* I just have to
accept my tears and continue to think of all of the happy times - so they
are happy tears.
C'est la vie...