The Lessons to be Learned from Charlie's Angels...
Yes. I am well aware of how random this entry sounds. But the thing is, I began thinking about muffins last night, which led to fighting muffins, which led me (current semi-insomniac) to compose a mental list of what people might learn from that movie. Leah, Rachel, and I have watched it many, many times in our youth, and can quote it verbatim. (Of course the same goes for the Emperor's New Groove, and the words to the songs in Chicago...)
So here goes, the supreme way to start your day:
Learn from me, grasshopper...
1. Chinese fighting muffins prove to be a valuable and dangerous weapon. "A buddy of mine took a fighting muffin in the chest; they sent him home with four ziplock bags." ~Bosley.
2. "The Chad is GREAT!" ~The Chad
3. One in sixty blowfish is poisonous and fatal. (Corwin then challenges Bosley to a sumo-wrestling match after Bosley eats one.)
4. "if you trip the external feedback circuit, the bomb will detonate." ~Alex.
5. Apparently working for a dude who only contacts you through a speaker box is cool-the Angels are always smiling when they get a mission, even though Charlie can't even see them.
6. "The heart is a muscle..." ~Bosley.
7. It's somewhat stressful to keep your true identity a secret from your boyfriend, who thinks you're a bikini waxer, and continuely gets suspicious when you know a lot about bombs and stuff.
8. It really hurts to get kicked in the boobs.
9. Inside the cane of a suspicious-looking Thin Man might be a potentially dangerous sword. Watch out for that.
10. It's possible to boost a friend over a large fence if the other two of you make a brace using your hands grasping wrists.
11. What's dubbed impossible by others is not necessarily so. And anyway, have the confidence to do it no matter what. "Sounds impossible." ~the evil Vivian Wood. "Sounds like fun." ~Natalie.
12. If you're chasing someone on a round racetrack, the other dude's not going anywhere; when he takes off to escape into the outside world, follow him, and then skillfully ram him off the bridge.
13. Apparently, licking the dashboard of a car means something obscene. "It's uh hot out there. Ooh, it's hot in here too...I like fast everything." ~Dylan (while distracting Corwin's chauffeur in uhh interesting ways)
14. The lady who hires you to find her coworker might just be the bad guy; pay attention to your instincts.
15. If the dude gets kidnapped in a parking lot with surveillance, you can enlarge the image of the reflection in the car window to see the bad guy's face, even if the surveillance camera doesn't show the kidnapper very clearly.
16. Never trust a guy who plays Scrabble (he lives alone, for heaven's sake!) and who likes to classify not knowing how to make Shake and Bake chicken as an emergency.
17. Good disguises that distract in order to procure fingerprints and such: belly-dancer outfits and Swedish native costumes including a goat and a tuba. (and yodeling of course)
18. Be invisible in an airless white ante chamber by dressing in a white body suit and wearing an air mask.
19. You can get a cute guy's attention by flipping your hair.
20. Konichiwah (or however you spell it) is hello in Japanese.
21. Tickets are fun. "Tickets! I love tickets!!" ~Natalie. (my mom occasionally will quote Natalie on this when we get tickets somewhere...it's truly hilarious)
22. It's awkward to talk to a cute guy on your cell phone while trying to multi-task freeing Bosley and battling the biotch who's trying to kill you with a large battle ax.
23. If you are shot out of the window wearing only a towel toga, never fear, there's always the chance that the towel will catch on a fragment of glass and you can drop to the ground minorly bruised and naked. On a similiar note: dodge the bullet and crash backwards out of the window to avoid being shot in the head.
24. Bad guys like going out to eat at places like House of Pancakes. Very cheap.
25. If some dude comes up behind you and attempts to strangle you with a length of chain, poke him in the eyes three-stooges style.
26. Your souffle will most likely fall in if the trailer you reside in is shot at repeatedly by assassins with heavy duty machine guns in a jeep. Keep in mind clinging to the ceiling will save you from certain death, but your souffle is a goner: seek revenge soon after.
27. Knowing how to do kick-ass martial arts moves with your hands tied up is extremely useful in stressful situations. "King Kong Palm." ~Dylan.
28. By activating the energy points on the dude's uhh body, you can: "Render a man unconcious." ~Alex
29. "A woman can't resist a man who looks good in a Speedo." ~ from "Tangerine Speedo"
30. If the pygmy nuthatch (Jack) flies away, take it as a sign that one of the bad guys is creeping up on you.
31. High heels are excellent crime-fighting footwear. hehehe They leave marks.
32. Use code names and make up tricks to remind you what your code name is. Bosley's name was "John David Rage," and to remind Bosley of his name: "Jelly donut." ~Dylan. "Jack Daniels." ~Alex. "Juvenile delinquent." ~Dylan.
33. Pygmy nuthatches are only found in Carmel. "Jack, tell them where I am." ~Bosley.
34. Drinking Buddhas and other alcoholic beverages out of coconuts is a good way to relax after a mission. "I think Bosley's had one too many Buddhas." "Bosley's definitely had a few."
35. "The stage is for the ladies." ~one of the bouncers at the dance club Soul Train. Oh. And "Baby got Back." "I like big butts and I cannot lie..."
And of course I could probably list a lot more if I watched the movie again. Just as I was writing this, Rachel walked by; right off the bat she began quoting whole scenes-including sound effects. And we haven't even seen the movie in a while! I guess part of the reason we think Charlie's Angels rock so much is that Rachel, Leah and I wanted to be like them: women who kick ass. And so we are.
~Your Salsagirl
So here goes, the supreme way to start your day:
Learn from me, grasshopper...
1. Chinese fighting muffins prove to be a valuable and dangerous weapon. "A buddy of mine took a fighting muffin in the chest; they sent him home with four ziplock bags." ~Bosley.
2. "The Chad is GREAT!" ~The Chad
3. One in sixty blowfish is poisonous and fatal. (Corwin then challenges Bosley to a sumo-wrestling match after Bosley eats one.)
4. "if you trip the external feedback circuit, the bomb will detonate." ~Alex.
5. Apparently working for a dude who only contacts you through a speaker box is cool-the Angels are always smiling when they get a mission, even though Charlie can't even see them.
6. "The heart is a muscle..." ~Bosley.
7. It's somewhat stressful to keep your true identity a secret from your boyfriend, who thinks you're a bikini waxer, and continuely gets suspicious when you know a lot about bombs and stuff.
8. It really hurts to get kicked in the boobs.
9. Inside the cane of a suspicious-looking Thin Man might be a potentially dangerous sword. Watch out for that.
10. It's possible to boost a friend over a large fence if the other two of you make a brace using your hands grasping wrists.
11. What's dubbed impossible by others is not necessarily so. And anyway, have the confidence to do it no matter what. "Sounds impossible." ~the evil Vivian Wood. "Sounds like fun." ~Natalie.
12. If you're chasing someone on a round racetrack, the other dude's not going anywhere; when he takes off to escape into the outside world, follow him, and then skillfully ram him off the bridge.
13. Apparently, licking the dashboard of a car means something obscene. "It's uh hot out there. Ooh, it's hot in here too...I like fast everything." ~Dylan (while distracting Corwin's chauffeur in uhh interesting ways)
14. The lady who hires you to find her coworker might just be the bad guy; pay attention to your instincts.
15. If the dude gets kidnapped in a parking lot with surveillance, you can enlarge the image of the reflection in the car window to see the bad guy's face, even if the surveillance camera doesn't show the kidnapper very clearly.
16. Never trust a guy who plays Scrabble (he lives alone, for heaven's sake!) and who likes to classify not knowing how to make Shake and Bake chicken as an emergency.
17. Good disguises that distract in order to procure fingerprints and such: belly-dancer outfits and Swedish native costumes including a goat and a tuba. (and yodeling of course)
18. Be invisible in an airless white ante chamber by dressing in a white body suit and wearing an air mask.
19. You can get a cute guy's attention by flipping your hair.
20. Konichiwah (or however you spell it) is hello in Japanese.
21. Tickets are fun. "Tickets! I love tickets!!" ~Natalie. (my mom occasionally will quote Natalie on this when we get tickets somewhere...it's truly hilarious)
22. It's awkward to talk to a cute guy on your cell phone while trying to multi-task freeing Bosley and battling the biotch who's trying to kill you with a large battle ax.
23. If you are shot out of the window wearing only a towel toga, never fear, there's always the chance that the towel will catch on a fragment of glass and you can drop to the ground minorly bruised and naked. On a similiar note: dodge the bullet and crash backwards out of the window to avoid being shot in the head.
24. Bad guys like going out to eat at places like House of Pancakes. Very cheap.
25. If some dude comes up behind you and attempts to strangle you with a length of chain, poke him in the eyes three-stooges style.
26. Your souffle will most likely fall in if the trailer you reside in is shot at repeatedly by assassins with heavy duty machine guns in a jeep. Keep in mind clinging to the ceiling will save you from certain death, but your souffle is a goner: seek revenge soon after.
27. Knowing how to do kick-ass martial arts moves with your hands tied up is extremely useful in stressful situations. "King Kong Palm." ~Dylan.
28. By activating the energy points on the dude's uhh body, you can: "Render a man unconcious." ~Alex
29. "A woman can't resist a man who looks good in a Speedo." ~ from "Tangerine Speedo"
30. If the pygmy nuthatch (Jack) flies away, take it as a sign that one of the bad guys is creeping up on you.
31. High heels are excellent crime-fighting footwear. hehehe They leave marks.
32. Use code names and make up tricks to remind you what your code name is. Bosley's name was "John David Rage," and to remind Bosley of his name: "Jelly donut." ~Dylan. "Jack Daniels." ~Alex. "Juvenile delinquent." ~Dylan.
33. Pygmy nuthatches are only found in Carmel. "Jack, tell them where I am." ~Bosley.
34. Drinking Buddhas and other alcoholic beverages out of coconuts is a good way to relax after a mission. "I think Bosley's had one too many Buddhas." "Bosley's definitely had a few."
35. "The stage is for the ladies." ~one of the bouncers at the dance club Soul Train. Oh. And "Baby got Back." "I like big butts and I cannot lie..."
And of course I could probably list a lot more if I watched the movie again. Just as I was writing this, Rachel walked by; right off the bat she began quoting whole scenes-including sound effects. And we haven't even seen the movie in a while! I guess part of the reason we think Charlie's Angels rock so much is that Rachel, Leah and I wanted to be like them: women who kick ass. And so we are.
~Your Salsagirl