loving it
this is my escape and you are where i want to be...i cant stop thinking about being with you...yeah and i might get sick to my stomach because what im feeling is very unusual for me...i dont fall in love and i dont just give my heart to anything that walks. if you are ever going to win me over you must follow a few set of rules with the number one rule being "just make me smile" just give me the time of day that you know i deserve. be there for me when i need you, support what i am going to do and dont tell me how to live my life. do not ever try to tell me what i can and can not do, because if you really know me...i wont do something if you dont really want me to, but its when you try to take over my life and control me...that is when i will fight back and give you a BIG HELL NO...This really freaks me out...you do...you and i are so much alike that this could either really flop and suck my balls...or could go really well and i could be happy with you for a very long time...there have been so many different boys in my lifetime that it makes me sad...bc none of them have had what it took to be something to me...sure i cared and loved each and every one of them...but its sad to say, that they did not treat me quite frankly, like a queen...they did not make me the peek point of their existence...and didnt make me feel like the effort or care was there...sad yes, and this is why most of you know...why i close up...because damnit, i have been to freaking hurt, upset, cried myself to sleep, lost friends over stupid boys, created drama, and i am done...so do not mess this up because this is up to you...win me over or lose me forever...your choice...
my head is filled with so many thoughts...thoughts of a new baby, thoughts of new friends, thoughts of the possible prospect of a new bf, thoughts of emptiness, thoughts of aggrivation, and simple thoughts of love...i dont know where to really start or where to end, but one thing i know is i am about to have a huge change in my life...i will no longer be surrounded by my comfort circle..i will no longer be taken in when i am feeling upset, i will have the comfort of my bed, my floor, my computer, and cell phone...i wont be able to run and jump onto lukes bed and say "LUKE GUESS WHO I LIKE THIS WEEK" and to be honest i will miss that, but its time...its time to grow up and make my own ways be mine...
my head is filled with so many thoughts...thoughts of a new baby, thoughts of new friends, thoughts of the possible prospect of a new bf, thoughts of emptiness, thoughts of aggrivation, and simple thoughts of love...i dont know where to really start or where to end, but one thing i know is i am about to have a huge change in my life...i will no longer be surrounded by my comfort circle..i will no longer be taken in when i am feeling upset, i will have the comfort of my bed, my floor, my computer, and cell phone...i wont be able to run and jump onto lukes bed and say "LUKE GUESS WHO I LIKE THIS WEEK" and to be honest i will miss that, but its time...its time to grow up and make my own ways be mine...