And the things is this...
You can no longer walk into a room and feel happy in my house. THe stress' of life here are hectic and in a rage...the family seems to be watching and waiting for me to just mess up and come running back home...well i hate to do this, but im not. You can make yourself do something that you know is only going to bring you misery and unhappiness. This time I feel like this is for me, its not for my parents and for my siblings, but for me. For the last 3 years I tried doing what was best for them...more parents then anyone and now I have found myself somewhere where I want to be. Somewhere where I am going to be loved, adored, honored in more ways then one, but most of all I AM GUNNA BE LOVED. Loved by someone who cherishes every little detail about me and I am the same way with him. If this was last year at this exact time, and I knew what was going to happen a year from then, I would have really gone out and worked hard at doing what I really wanted to do, but instead of that my parents said "college college college" do college. So instead of following my heart and doing what I wanted, I did what they wanted. I went to college and found myself miserable there, until I realized growing up wasn't so bad after all. So college went on and passed me by and I realized I don't want to be there and I didn't get anything out of there, but a 15 K DEBT and fucking myself over now finacially. This sucks, but I WANT to grow up and I am going to do it...finally.
Im sorry if I have ever let you down and Im sorry if you didn't think that everything i ever told you wasn't straight from my heart, because it always has been. You have always been my rock and my shelter, the one person I could always count on, even if you didn't agree with my actions. I guess I just don't really understand how you could say that Im not your best friend and that I don't act like I am, when I spend every night telling you about the latest in my life and explaining in complex detail of whats going on...This just hurts to know that I feel as if you and i have "been missing the boat" apparently all that i have told you, you just thought i told anyone or anything...guess not huh. well anyways moving in june...kinda scared, leaving my family, friends, and the life i know all behind me...guess we will find out in about a week and half if i can cut it...
Im sorry if I have ever let you down and Im sorry if you didn't think that everything i ever told you wasn't straight from my heart, because it always has been. You have always been my rock and my shelter, the one person I could always count on, even if you didn't agree with my actions. I guess I just don't really understand how you could say that Im not your best friend and that I don't act like I am, when I spend every night telling you about the latest in my life and explaining in complex detail of whats going on...This just hurts to know that I feel as if you and i have "been missing the boat" apparently all that i have told you, you just thought i told anyone or anything...guess not huh. well anyways moving in june...kinda scared, leaving my family, friends, and the life i know all behind me...guess we will find out in about a week and half if i can cut it...