Only faces ever change, the song remains the same...
Since social media blew up and took over so many of our internet presences, I've found that I only write here when I'm feeling like I did prior to 2004 or so. This is one of those times.
When I was younger, I was convinced that it wouldn't take much to survive. I thought things would be straightforward. I would do some kind of IT job, get paychecks, pay bills, buy food, and make sure I had a way to get to and from work. I thought, as promised, everyone would grow past whatever they were in high school, and the professional world would be different.
On the other hand, I was also told that high school is meant to prepare us for the real world. I think this is the only truth that stands out from my teenage years, and it's the one I was least willing to believe at the time. High school *does* prepare us for the real world, *because* people don't change as they age. They continue to let their emotions drive them, even after the hormonal imbalances pass. They continue to let pride and insecurity drive them, to fear the strong, and to prey on the weak. It continues into their 30's, 40's and 50's. It doesn't stop. Even those who do learn to be stronger, cave and mimic the behavior as not to be cast as part of the minority. That's how you get ostracized from the lunch table, after all.
So here I am, 18 years later, getting ostracized from the lunch table. 18 years later, still putting forth my best work in order to be told I'm worthless once someone else has capitalized on it. 18 years later, still being made to feel like I was born to serve others, and then quietly go die somewhere when the neglect catches up with me.
I always said, something would have to change. I always said, someday, I'd get a chance to break out and live my life. 18 years later, I don't believe that's true anymore. If you don't work, you die. If you do work, you live off of scraps until you die. On the other hand, if you learn how to lie and cheat your way up the social ladder, there's likely a bright future ahead of you.
When I was younger, I was convinced that it wouldn't take much to survive. I thought things would be straightforward. I would do some kind of IT job, get paychecks, pay bills, buy food, and make sure I had a way to get to and from work. I thought, as promised, everyone would grow past whatever they were in high school, and the professional world would be different.
On the other hand, I was also told that high school is meant to prepare us for the real world. I think this is the only truth that stands out from my teenage years, and it's the one I was least willing to believe at the time. High school *does* prepare us for the real world, *because* people don't change as they age. They continue to let their emotions drive them, even after the hormonal imbalances pass. They continue to let pride and insecurity drive them, to fear the strong, and to prey on the weak. It continues into their 30's, 40's and 50's. It doesn't stop. Even those who do learn to be stronger, cave and mimic the behavior as not to be cast as part of the minority. That's how you get ostracized from the lunch table, after all.
So here I am, 18 years later, getting ostracized from the lunch table. 18 years later, still putting forth my best work in order to be told I'm worthless once someone else has capitalized on it. 18 years later, still being made to feel like I was born to serve others, and then quietly go die somewhere when the neglect catches up with me.
I always said, something would have to change. I always said, someday, I'd get a chance to break out and live my life. 18 years later, I don't believe that's true anymore. If you don't work, you die. If you do work, you live off of scraps until you die. On the other hand, if you learn how to lie and cheat your way up the social ladder, there's likely a bright future ahead of you.