I want to dance....
The past 48 hours have been the scariest, most emotional, but also most spiritual of my life.
Bob took me to the ER at Mercy General Hospital Monday at 3:00pm on recommendation from my mother who could not explain the tingling feeling I've had in my legs since Thursday. I couldn't feel much of a cushion between my bones and the floor itself, so it was very hard to walk. I'm rather surprised I didn't break Bob's back when he carried me.
After registration into the hospital to be screened, I waited a few hours with Bob in a scary hallway filled with patients with problems I thought to be much bigger than mine. I felt I didn't belong there, and I was grateful...that it wasn't worse...
After a few hours of several nurses knocking at my knees and pulling more blood out of me than I wished to give, I spent two more in a tight tube for an MRI....I asked to be blindfolded, I felt so claustrophobic...
Upon exiting the MRI room, Bob re-enters with Henry...and I lose my self control, bathing Henry's hand in tears...
A few more hours later, I hear the first of it....."There is a minor protrusion in the pons area of your brain...and we are not quite sure what it is....the doctor wants to admit you overnight. We will need to hear from the neurologist."
My heart sinks....my tears form, Henry's have already begun to fall, Bob grabs my hand....
After a long list of phone calls to be made to my parents, brother and a few friends, I'm finally admitted to room 412B in the Neuro Care Unit....."The neurologist will be here in the morning and we will need to take another MRI. You should get some good sleep....and we'll need more blood." .....I don't sleep much, especially with the tingling and my IV, which Bob has designated as "Earl"....noises come from the other side of the curtain, as my roommate also struggles to sleep....Henry holds my hand, and I sing to him....
In the morning, they feed me. The MRI is short...Nikki must have been annoyed to see me again so soon. I think about God, and why he has decided for this to happen. I think about the karaoke songs I plan to sing for Melissa....I'm pretty sure I have them memorized by now...
When I leave the MRI, my mother and brother enter...with hugs, kisses, and mixture of smiles and tears...and a balloon with flowers....
We go back to room 412 and play the waiting game....Akira enters around 1:00pm, and plays me jazz from his laptop....I start to feel human again....
Around 3:00pm, another doctor enters with more news...."There's no malignancy in the protrusion...but we still don't know enough to diagnose....In my opinion, based on your symptoms, I'd say you have signs of Multiple Sclerosis...the neurologist will be here at 6:00.""
I laugh out loud, disturbing my mother and possibly others in the next rooms...a huge weight is lifted off of my shoulders.....all I can think is "...it's not my time..."
The next few hours are a blur of new faces I don't particularly care to see...they talk about insurance, bills, conditions, signatures...after a while, they all begin to sound like one voice...mumbling...slurring...confusing......I try to smile...
When they leave, my brother and Henry fetch pizza and leave and my mother alone to talk...Ma is good about getting things done, I'm not. I get up from my bed...and she finally let's her tears go...I was relieved to see that she was human afterall. I say to her, "Come on Ma, you weren't really THAT worried, were you?" She says, "Me?! No never!"
We stuff ourselves silly full of pizza upon Dom and Henry's return. Akira returns from some errands and after tailing a hot nurse in the building...we wait...
Dr. Ehyai arrives 7:30pm to give me a final examination...."You have only ONE symptom and only ONE protrusion...that is not enough for me to diagnose and give you medication for "multiple" sclerosis....you ARE going to get better...and we may need to give you a lumbar puncture...but that time is not now. You should come back for another MRI in about three months, and in the meantime, get yourself set up with medical insurance. If there are any changes, please give us another call. I'd recommend you stay out of work for three weeks at the least."
I am discharged from Mercy General at 8:30pm, 27 hours upon my first arrival, they bring me out in a wheelchair. I go home to my own bed, and an evening of anime watching with friends Bob and Akira, and Henry...who barely left my side...
The end is good, my friends...as some very positive things have come out of this experience...
I have three weeks off of work in which I can read manga and play WOW to my heart's content. I have found my faith in God once again, and I think even, perhaps, Henry has re-discovered his,...but the best.....
Henry proposed to me at around 11:30 pm on April 30th, from my hospital bedside....we cried in each others arms....
I want to dance...at my own wedding.
I love you all...more than I can ever express....
Bob took me to the ER at Mercy General Hospital Monday at 3:00pm on recommendation from my mother who could not explain the tingling feeling I've had in my legs since Thursday. I couldn't feel much of a cushion between my bones and the floor itself, so it was very hard to walk. I'm rather surprised I didn't break Bob's back when he carried me.
After registration into the hospital to be screened, I waited a few hours with Bob in a scary hallway filled with patients with problems I thought to be much bigger than mine. I felt I didn't belong there, and I was grateful...that it wasn't worse...
After a few hours of several nurses knocking at my knees and pulling more blood out of me than I wished to give, I spent two more in a tight tube for an MRI....I asked to be blindfolded, I felt so claustrophobic...
Upon exiting the MRI room, Bob re-enters with Henry...and I lose my self control, bathing Henry's hand in tears...
A few more hours later, I hear the first of it....."There is a minor protrusion in the pons area of your brain...and we are not quite sure what it is....the doctor wants to admit you overnight. We will need to hear from the neurologist."
My heart sinks....my tears form, Henry's have already begun to fall, Bob grabs my hand....
After a long list of phone calls to be made to my parents, brother and a few friends, I'm finally admitted to room 412B in the Neuro Care Unit....."The neurologist will be here in the morning and we will need to take another MRI. You should get some good sleep....and we'll need more blood." .....I don't sleep much, especially with the tingling and my IV, which Bob has designated as "Earl"....noises come from the other side of the curtain, as my roommate also struggles to sleep....Henry holds my hand, and I sing to him....
In the morning, they feed me. The MRI is short...Nikki must have been annoyed to see me again so soon. I think about God, and why he has decided for this to happen. I think about the karaoke songs I plan to sing for Melissa....I'm pretty sure I have them memorized by now...
When I leave the MRI, my mother and brother enter...with hugs, kisses, and mixture of smiles and tears...and a balloon with flowers....
We go back to room 412 and play the waiting game....Akira enters around 1:00pm, and plays me jazz from his laptop....I start to feel human again....
Around 3:00pm, another doctor enters with more news...."There's no malignancy in the protrusion...but we still don't know enough to diagnose....In my opinion, based on your symptoms, I'd say you have signs of Multiple Sclerosis...the neurologist will be here at 6:00.""
I laugh out loud, disturbing my mother and possibly others in the next rooms...a huge weight is lifted off of my shoulders.....all I can think is "...it's not my time..."
The next few hours are a blur of new faces I don't particularly care to see...they talk about insurance, bills, conditions, signatures...after a while, they all begin to sound like one voice...mumbling...slurring...confusing......I try to smile...
When they leave, my brother and Henry fetch pizza and leave and my mother alone to talk...Ma is good about getting things done, I'm not. I get up from my bed...and she finally let's her tears go...I was relieved to see that she was human afterall. I say to her, "Come on Ma, you weren't really THAT worried, were you?" She says, "Me?! No never!"
We stuff ourselves silly full of pizza upon Dom and Henry's return. Akira returns from some errands and after tailing a hot nurse in the building...we wait...
Dr. Ehyai arrives 7:30pm to give me a final examination...."You have only ONE symptom and only ONE protrusion...that is not enough for me to diagnose and give you medication for "multiple" sclerosis....you ARE going to get better...and we may need to give you a lumbar puncture...but that time is not now. You should come back for another MRI in about three months, and in the meantime, get yourself set up with medical insurance. If there are any changes, please give us another call. I'd recommend you stay out of work for three weeks at the least."
I am discharged from Mercy General at 8:30pm, 27 hours upon my first arrival, they bring me out in a wheelchair. I go home to my own bed, and an evening of anime watching with friends Bob and Akira, and Henry...who barely left my side...
The end is good, my friends...as some very positive things have come out of this experience...
I have three weeks off of work in which I can read manga and play WOW to my heart's content. I have found my faith in God once again, and I think even, perhaps, Henry has re-discovered his,...but the best.....
Henry proposed to me at around 11:30 pm on April 30th, from my hospital bedside....we cried in each others arms....
I want to dance...at my own wedding.
I love you all...more than I can ever express....