temper temper
i'm beginning a new personal research project into uncommon forms of punctuation and typography for new tattoo ideas, which spawned my interest in the book Plumons L'oiseau by Hervé Bazin, in which he proposes points of authority, points of sarcasm, and points of love. On a similar note, I am inspired to write a song using punctuation as a basis... instead of what I had planned formerly, which wasn't really planned, but just contemplated on the way home and begins like this (these don't flow coherently together, they are scraps):
If I could get you down in a few sentences
The compliments would rest breathless between ellipses
In giddy processions suggesting
feelings so infinite
they burst into tangents of hand-in-hand antics trailing off into ampersands
while the stomach flips flicker with every new flutter of each butterfly's wing.
After I wrote this, I had the punctuation idea.
Rose and I headed to the Sidewalk café, an actual location, not a sidewalk (hah), having missed Mal Blum, who we were going to see play. Blair & Simone, Natasia & Daphne, Roy, and then Mal sat and we joined the visibly queer cluster situated in a brick-walled, typically small establishment where cushioned seats lined the perimeter and tiny, rounded tables permeated the area between the boxy stage and everything else. We sat to the side with Roy, at first, who eyed me hopefully... making me feel guilty for being genuinely nice. As Mal and Blair stood up to take in some air outside, Rose and I sat with a tipsy Simone, as Rose laughed at how strangely the tall, siren-ish blonde performer kept making dreamy eye contact with me, raising her eyebrows. "She looks like she could be your older sister," Rose chuckled as I shifted my gaze and put my head down in embarrassment. Rose ordered us drinks... and Blair came back and sat with me, playfully disapproving of my drinking, attempting to make her older age loom over my head. Rose sat back laughing at the way I've figured out to interact with Blair, which is to be teasingly mean and catty. I was having oh so much fun doing it. And I explained to Simone that I found my way to put up with her girlfriend because even if she is older than me, she's not wittier than me. After sitting through the mediocre instrumentals of the tall blonde and her fringe, grey-haired companion, Blair took us to the next corner where the nineteen-year-old Mal played some of her songs on the actual sidewalk... we called it our private show out in public. Some sweet girl named Alex came to watch and some irritating guy named Adam started talking to Mal as Simone muttered, "Hey Adam, what's going on? Hey Adam, are you hitting on Mal? Hey Adam, are you drinking vodka? Hey Adam, are you on drugs?" When he heard his name after a while she said, "Oh, I just like making fun of boys." Ha. Then some two creepy guys stopped... Then some weird lady who was with some guy, but who may have been hitting on Mal. It was all very cute to be tipsy and friendly with Simone, but little things annoyed me, like the fact that Marisa has no problem hanging out with a nineteen-year-old Mal, but not with me. Am I not artistic enough? Am I not academically mature enough? What's the liability?
I'm kind of over gQ, it was nice for awhile, but I'm sick of being treated like a child.
Rose kept pressuring Simone to date Joanna because Joanna said that Simone would be her kind of girl if she were ever to have a relationship with a girl. Joanna is very free-spirited and people-loving. Rosemary can be quite weird. On the train ride back she said, "Imagine us hanging out with Simone and Marisa, and occasionally Brooke!" I told her to shut up playfully and she told me to stop crushing her dreams. Actually on the train ride there she asked me if I thought Marisa and Brooke hung out... and I am sure they do not, but either way she said, "I just like to think of them together at Cattyshack or some bar, maybe having a drink and talking about their long, tough day at work..." I don't know how to react. Stupid Mal. Getting all the benefits of hanging with Marisa and Simone... being at Marisa's house! Blaaaaaahhh. I can't wait to go to school and be around people who aren't selectively ageist and irritating.
Fuck it all. I am going to be a stuffy, selectively pretentious intellectual. Right now, though, I feel like an infant.
*Tantrum*
The events preceding this little adventure downtown were perfect and lovely and worth a few hundred appreciative kitten faces. So yay for times I can't possibly hyper-criticize. (As I realize that everything I described about hanging with Simone, Blair, and Mal was just me hyper-criticizing and once again looking past the enjoyable just because.)
I should really try that meditation exercise.
If I could get you down in a few sentences
The compliments would rest breathless between ellipses
In giddy processions suggesting
feelings so infinite
they burst into tangents of hand-in-hand antics trailing off into ampersands
while the stomach flips flicker with every new flutter of each butterfly's wing.
After I wrote this, I had the punctuation idea.
Rose and I headed to the Sidewalk café, an actual location, not a sidewalk (hah), having missed Mal Blum, who we were going to see play. Blair & Simone, Natasia & Daphne, Roy, and then Mal sat and we joined the visibly queer cluster situated in a brick-walled, typically small establishment where cushioned seats lined the perimeter and tiny, rounded tables permeated the area between the boxy stage and everything else. We sat to the side with Roy, at first, who eyed me hopefully... making me feel guilty for being genuinely nice. As Mal and Blair stood up to take in some air outside, Rose and I sat with a tipsy Simone, as Rose laughed at how strangely the tall, siren-ish blonde performer kept making dreamy eye contact with me, raising her eyebrows. "She looks like she could be your older sister," Rose chuckled as I shifted my gaze and put my head down in embarrassment. Rose ordered us drinks... and Blair came back and sat with me, playfully disapproving of my drinking, attempting to make her older age loom over my head. Rose sat back laughing at the way I've figured out to interact with Blair, which is to be teasingly mean and catty. I was having oh so much fun doing it. And I explained to Simone that I found my way to put up with her girlfriend because even if she is older than me, she's not wittier than me. After sitting through the mediocre instrumentals of the tall blonde and her fringe, grey-haired companion, Blair took us to the next corner where the nineteen-year-old Mal played some of her songs on the actual sidewalk... we called it our private show out in public. Some sweet girl named Alex came to watch and some irritating guy named Adam started talking to Mal as Simone muttered, "Hey Adam, what's going on? Hey Adam, are you hitting on Mal? Hey Adam, are you drinking vodka? Hey Adam, are you on drugs?" When he heard his name after a while she said, "Oh, I just like making fun of boys." Ha. Then some two creepy guys stopped... Then some weird lady who was with some guy, but who may have been hitting on Mal. It was all very cute to be tipsy and friendly with Simone, but little things annoyed me, like the fact that Marisa has no problem hanging out with a nineteen-year-old Mal, but not with me. Am I not artistic enough? Am I not academically mature enough? What's the liability?
I'm kind of over gQ, it was nice for awhile, but I'm sick of being treated like a child.
Rose kept pressuring Simone to date Joanna because Joanna said that Simone would be her kind of girl if she were ever to have a relationship with a girl. Joanna is very free-spirited and people-loving. Rosemary can be quite weird. On the train ride back she said, "Imagine us hanging out with Simone and Marisa, and occasionally Brooke!" I told her to shut up playfully and she told me to stop crushing her dreams. Actually on the train ride there she asked me if I thought Marisa and Brooke hung out... and I am sure they do not, but either way she said, "I just like to think of them together at Cattyshack or some bar, maybe having a drink and talking about their long, tough day at work..." I don't know how to react. Stupid Mal. Getting all the benefits of hanging with Marisa and Simone... being at Marisa's house! Blaaaaaahhh. I can't wait to go to school and be around people who aren't selectively ageist and irritating.
Fuck it all. I am going to be a stuffy, selectively pretentious intellectual. Right now, though, I feel like an infant.
*Tantrum*
The events preceding this little adventure downtown were perfect and lovely and worth a few hundred appreciative kitten faces. So yay for times I can't possibly hyper-criticize. (As I realize that everything I described about hanging with Simone, Blair, and Mal was just me hyper-criticizing and once again looking past the enjoyable just because.)
I should really try that meditation exercise.