(fic) the one that mattered
yunho / jaejoong
(jaejoong/everyone | (blink and miss) yoochun/junsu)
Rating: PG13
Genre: Romance | Drama | Angst (slight)
Kim Jaejoong believed that he had fallen in love many, many, many times in the twenty six years of his life. Like with his neighbour, Choi Sooyoung. She was tall, lean and hilarious. He was six and she was seven when they first met and he loved playing with her action figures and they would run around the nearby park, pretending to be private detectives and solving some earth shattering problem. They made a pretty damn good team.
He was fifteen when he kissed her for the first time, it was not because he wanted to kiss her but it was because everything was just perfect for a kiss. They were standing on an empty street, Sooyoung was leaning on a pole, the street lights had softened her features and Jaejoong had realized she was no longer a girl and that she was a mature young lady. She had grown up beautifully, she was tall and yet she had the right curves.
Sooyoung had laughed softly then, when they were saying their good nights. “Aren’t you going to kiss me goodnight?” She had asked and Jaejoong had stiffened. They leaned in together and brushed their lips together. Sooyoung had blushed and ran away and Jaejoong stood there waiting for something to happen. Like fireworks or music to start playing somewhere, or himself to swoon and sigh and sing about how wonderful it was.
But, nothing.
He was disappointed with his first kiss, he had always wanted it to be exaggerated, flamboyant, fairy-tale like, but it, sadly, wasn’t.
Sooyoung and her family moved away after her father got transferred to another place, Jaejoong felt sad. Miserable even, but he knew it was for the best. Sooyoung was tearful when she had to leave and she held on to Jaejoong tightly, sobbing quietly into his shoulders and making promises about writing to him and calling him once every week and at least visiting him once a month.
Jaejoong held her, quietly listening to her promises, knowing very well that they were just empty promises and that, she was going to be just fine where ever she went.
As Jaejoong watched Sooyoung and her family disappear in their car, he knew he was never going to see her again and he was okay with it.
But he also knew that, he would always, always love her a little.
+
Yoochun was his other half.
He was an aloof kid, lost in his own world, humming tunes he composed and he reminded Jaejoong of rain water seeping through brick walls. They studied together in college, studied music composition and Jaejoong found Yoochun interesting. Nothing could hold back Yoochun, nothing got him grounded. He had dreams to touch the sky and bring stars down; when Jaejoong told him the sun would burn him, Yoochun had shrugged and said, I’ll use sun screen.
With Yoochun it was simple. Nothing was complicated; everything was how it was said to be. They sat together in Yoochun’s balcony smoking and talking about everything in between something and nothing when they kissed. It was a straightforward, I want you right now, right here kiss. No hidden meanings, nothing to understand, nothing to decipher, nothing to comprehend. It was the way a kiss was supposed to be.
Yoochun was a one hell of a kisser; he spilled secrets into Jaejoong’s mouth with his lips attached to them. Jaejoong got addicted to kissing Yoochun, in his car, under the stairs, in dark alleys, on the couch, behind the shelves in the library. Everywhere, anywhere, somewhere.
His kisses were a lot like him, straightforward, simple and interesting.
So when Yoochun came over one day to Jaejoong’s place, looking glum and disoriented, Jaejoong knew something was up. Yoochun smiled at Jaejoong, wrapped his arms around him and kissed him. Kissed him deep, kissed him hard and kissed him like he meant it. Jaejoong knew it was a kiss goodbye.
“Dad’s not feeling too well and he’s all the way in the US and he wants mum to come there with Yoohwan and me so we can all live together.” Yoochun had said.
“Why doesn’t your dad come here?” Jaejoong asked, making himself comfortable against Yoochun.
“He has a good job there, a nice pay and a good apartment. And mum doesn’t want to leave Yoohwan and me alone here.”
“You can live with me, it’ll be okay. We are old enough to look after ourselves and we’ll be good boys.” Jaejoong insisted.
But Yoochun had only smiled, widely and sadly. He pulled Jaejoong closer and kissed him once more. One last time.
And this time, Jaejoong had tears in his eyes when he had to say goodbye to Yoochun. It was like ripping his soul into half and convincing himself that it would be okay. When actually he knew it wouldn’t be.
+
Changmin was heart breaker.
He was smooth, suave and a criminal at stealing hearts. Jaejoong met him at a bar. Jaejoong had decided to work part time at a bar, to support himself financially. Changmin walked in one night, sat at the counter and ordered for a coke and sipped on it the whole night and stared at Jaejoong mixing drinks and cleaning the counter.
Jaejoong felt naked under Changmin’s sight, like a lamb being pulled into a butcher’s shop. Jaejoong asked if Changmin wanted anything else, other than his drink - which was not even alcohol. Changmin tilted his head, bit his lip thoughtfully and smiled; “Yes please.” He leaned forward. “The bill. Oh, and your name and number would be just about right.”
Changmin had charms Jaejoong couldn’t ignore or resist. He made Jaejoong laugh, blush, sigh, giggle, think and he said the right things at the right time. He made Jaejoong feel special. He made Jaejoong feel things Jaejoong didn’t know he could feel. Changmin wasn’t a romantic, but he was a classic. He had his way around Jaejoong and his way with Jaejoong.
They were young, free and wild together; Changmin was an animal in bed, he owned every inch of Jaejoong when they made love, he made Jaejoong scream scream his name and Jaejoong enjoyed every erotic moment they shared. Changmin had his own style of having sex, it was spontaneous. Anytime and anywhere was the right moment and place for them.
They had heat, chemistry, passion.
And they were also, Jaejoong’s definition of perfect.
Jaejoong wrote to Yoochun about Changmin, about how maybe, just maybe he was finally in love and this was how it was all supposed to be and how it all would be. He wrote about Changmin’s quick wit and sense of humour, about how Changmin actions were so calculated and how his perceptions were always so four dimensional.
Yoochun was happy to know, of course, but he warned Jaejoong; to be safe, to keep his grounds and to be cautious. Jaejoong replied with a don’t be silly, I know what I am doing. Changmin’s perfect for me.
Changmin was perfect for Jaejoong, but much to Jaejoong’s bad luck, he wasn’t perfect for Changmin.
He vanished one day and Jaejoong didn’t know where to look, who to call, what to do. He felt lost. Other than Changmin himself, he didn’t know anything else. Jaejoong tried calling his phone but it was switched off, he tried visiting places they visited together but he was nowhere to seen. Jaejoong sat in his apartment, sending messages to Changmin’s number and staring at his phone, hoping and praying he would get a reply back or even a call.
But, nothing.
Jaejoong only saw Changmin after a month.
He was driving by a church when he saw Changmin, dressed in the best suit and his hand linked to his pretty bride. Jaejoong slammed on the brakes and ran out of the car and lamely walked towards the crowd that was gathered around the newlywed couple. Jaejoong could feel his heart falling into his gut. He caught Changmin’s eye and the latter just smiled at Jaejoong and nodded curtly, turning back to everyone else.
Jaejoong watched Changmin get into his car with a just married painted on the back and watched Changmin drive away. He sat by the road, feeling empty and hollow and watched the afternoon turn into evening and the evening turned into night.
What was he to do? What had just happened? Why had Changmin done that? Questions exploded in Jaejoong’s mind one after the other and he had no answers. He walked to his car and tried to even out his breathing.
He stopped going out for that, he skipped classes and he barely made it to his job; everything reminded Jaejoong of Changmin, his clothes had Changmin’s scent on them, the sheets he used on his bed, the vessels he used to cook in. There was a touch of Changmin everywhere. To stop himself from thinking, Jaejoong started drinking heavily every night, smoking packs and packs of cigarettes. He would lie on the floor in his small apartment and tears would flow with every sip he had, with every cigarette he smoked.
Changmin had fucked him over.
Yoochun mailed him, called him and sent him texts but Jaejoong rarely replied. He was an empty shell of something that used to, of something that could have been.
When he decided to move on, months and months later, it was like nothing had changed in the outside world. All his university friends had missed him and welcomed him back; his manager was very upset with absence but hired him back anyway. Jaejoong’s world was destroyed by Changmin (or so he thought) but everyone else were unknowingly helping him in building it back.
And so, he moved on.
+
Junsu was his rebound.
He was a happy kid, full of smiles and wide eyes. Jaejoong met him during his final year at university. Junsu was his junior and the voice of an angel. Jaejoong adored him to bits and pieces; Junsu with his smiles made the sun look dull and stars less bright. Jaejoong mailed Yoochun about him; Yoochun would have definitely liked him. He was everything Yoochun wasn’t, Junsu had certain calmness about him, a kind of strange confident aura - despite his bubbly nature, there was something ambitious about him. Though he was gullible, he was strong. He had his head on his shoulders and feet on the ground, he knew what he wanted and he knew he was going to get it.
When Jaejoong had to graduate, he made Junsu promise to mail him every week if not every day. Junsu nodded, tears in his eyes and everything and hugged Jaejoong.
Jaejoong held the kid tightly, they knew each other for just about six month but this kid had ploughed his way into Jaejoong’s heart and created a spot just for himself and refused to leave. Junsu reminded Jaejoong that no matter what happens to anyone, no matter how much anyone fucks you over; there is always a kind of innocence, some sort of childlike thinking that works at the back of your head that won’t let you crumble.
Junsu taught Jaejoong to keep the faith and to never lose hope.
+
And then, Jaejoong met Jiyool.
And along with her, came Yunho.
Jaejoong was sitting at a park after having finished his interview when a small ball rolled towards his feet. He picked it up and stared at it absentmindedly when a small girl of four or five came running up to him.
“Is this ball yours, miss?” Jaejoong asked, smiling at her.
She tugged on the ends of her pink shirt and nodded, smiling shyly. He let the ball roll on the grass; “Here you go, play safely.” He said, ruffling her hair softly. Her smile widened and she thanked him in a quiet voice and picked up the ball and ran in the other direction. Jaejoong watched her run when she tripped and fell face first on grass.
Out of instincts, Jaejoong ran to her and helped her up; “Are you okay? Where is it hurting-“
“Jiyool baby, are you alright?”
Someone had come running from the other direction, he was breathless and red in the face and he was holding a bottle of water.
“Your daughter?” Jaejoong asked, looking up at the man.
“Yeah,” He nodded, kneeling down and brushing the mud of Jiyool’s pants and hands. “Drink this, sweetheart.” He uncorked the bottle of water and handed the bottle to her.
“It’s amazing how she’s not crying or anything.” Jaejoong said, watching the young girl sip on water.
“She is precious, isn’t she? Thank you for your help, I am Yunho.” The man introduced himself.
And from that day on, Jaejoong met Jiyool every day at the park, she was a very shy five year old and she took her time opening up to Jaejoong; and every time he met Jiyool, it was guaranteed that he would meet Yunho.
Jaejoong learned that Yunho was a divorcee and that his ex-wife and he were sharing custody of Jiyool and Jiyool would visit her mother every weekend. Yunho led a pretty normal life, a boring life in his terms but Jaejoong found everything so exciting. They would meet in the park every day, Jaejoong and Yunho would talk and walk around, keeping an eye on Jiyool as she ran around excitedly between the slide and the swings. Yunho was a public defender, working at well off cooperate firm. But Jaejoong also learned that Yunho wanted to be a dancer, to be on stage more than anything. But he had dismissed this desire as being young and foolish and everyone wants things when they are young, I did too but now I know better was his excuse all the time. Jaejoong wanted to disagree with him, he wanted Yunho to pursue dancing, to chase his dreams. He was only thirty one, not that old. But Yunho would smile at Jaejoong and look at Jiyool playing, “I have responsibilities, I can’t turn my back to that because I want to do silly things.” And Jaejoong could not argue with that.
One day, when Jiyool was over at her mother’s; Jaejoong ended up in front of Yunho’s house. He had been there a couple of times, sometimes for dinner, sometimes to babysit Jiyool when Yunho had to work over time. He was no stranger at the Jung household.
“Let’s go for a drive?” Jaejoong asked, smiling widely at Yunho, when the latter opened the door. “I’m bored and I figured you would be too.”
Yunho chuckled and pulled out his keys; “I drive us to wherever and you drive us back.”
“Done.”
They sat in the car and drove, drove for miles and hours talking to each other about everything; Jaejoong could so easily open up to Yunho, so easily talk to him about everything; he told Yunho about Yoochun and how much Yoochun means to him, and about Changmin and what had happened to him, and about Junsu and his silliness. Jaejoong spilled out his life and Yunho listened to it, hands on the wheel, eyes on the road but his ears to Jaejoong’s heart.
On their way back, after having a small break and ice cream, it was Yunho’s turn to let Jaejoong in on his life. He told Jaejoong about how he had met his ex-wife at a party and after a few drinks, the found each other in some bedroom, undressing each other and kissing and fucking. Yunho told Jaejoong about how they were nearly going to get Jiyool aborted but both their parents were against it and they were ready to support their education and the child and so at the young age of twenty something, Yunho found himself married and a father of six month old daughter.
“Do you regret it?” Jaejoong asked, glancing at Yunho.
“Not one bit.” No hesitation.
“Jiyool is the best thing that’s happened in my life…”
Jaejoong smiled. “I am sure.”
“…she also led me to you.”
Jaejoong could not deny his crush on Yunho, it was massive and in your face kind. When Yoochun had come down for a visit Jaejoong spoke and gushed about Yunho, about how much of a great father he is, a great son, an amazing friend and it went on and on and on till Yoochun had to interrupt him with a “Yes Jaejoong, long time no see. I am doing fine, thank you for asking.” Jaejoong had blushed, slapped Yoochun on the arm and bought him ice cream.
It was new year’s eve, Jaejoong was at Yunho’s and Yunho had gone to tuck in a very reluctant Jiyool into bed. She wanted to stay awake till at least two, like big people, she has said, But Yunho, being the sweet talker he was, cooed her into bed and kissed her goodnight.
“All well?” Jaejoong asked, sipping on his wine.
“Uh, yes.” Yunho smiled, picking up his own glass. “Kids these days.”
Jaejoong stared at Yunho for a while; noticed the unbelievably small and attractive mole on top of upper lip, the way Yunho’s lips smile was curved and perfect, the way his eyes were deep and thoughtful and his fingers, long and sexy.
“Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah.” Jaejoong shook his head, breaking his train of thoughts.
“Let’s go, c’mon it’s nearly midnight.” Yunho reached forward and grabbed Jaejoong by the wrist and pulled him up the stairs to the terrace. They had planned to watch the fireworks from Yunho’s terrace to welcome the New Year.
The fireworks started bursting, people were screaming and hooting and shouting. Jaejoong turned to face Yunho; “Happy New Year.” He said, smiling widely.
Yunho bit lower lip and smiled back; “Happy New Year, Jae.” He said, leaning forward and kissing Jaejoong and pulling the younger man into his arms.
Jaejoong gasped slightly but gave into the kiss; it was how he had imagined his first kiss to be, there were fireworks everywhere, people were clapping, shouting, hooting and there was music and merry and butterflies in his tummy. He felt safe in Yunho’s arms, happy, content. He felt like he was home.
When they pulled back, Yunho took Jaejoong’s hands in his own and chuckled; “Jiyool told me to man up and kiss you already because I keep acting like a love sick puppy when you are not around.”
Jaejoong laughed carelessly and took Yunho’s face in his hands; “Well, the young lady is right.”
Yunho grinned widely and kissed Jaejoong again; “Move in with us.”
Jaejoong jerked; “What - no, how can I? That would be - “
“You know…” Yunho smiled looking at Jaejoong’s state of confusion. “I wasn’t really asking.”
+
Months later, in his mail to Yoochun, Jaejoong wrote:
Bitch,
Get your ass to Korea right now. I need a best man asap.
And don’t give me excuses or I will cut you up.
Of course, Jiyool had to ask Yunho to ‘just give him the damn ring before hell breaks loose.’ when we were having dinner one night. She’s six Yoochun.
So come quick :D
And also, you will finally meet Junsu! Finally. You will love him no doubt.
Anyway, lots of love.
Jae.
Kim Jaejoong believed that he had fallen in love many, many, many times in the twenty six years of his life. But in his twenty seventh year, he found comfort, home and family when in love.
+
(jaejoong/everyone | (blink and miss) yoochun/junsu)
Rating: PG13
Genre: Romance | Drama | Angst (slight)
Kim Jaejoong believed that he had fallen in love many, many, many times in the twenty six years of his life. Like with his neighbour, Choi Sooyoung. She was tall, lean and hilarious. He was six and she was seven when they first met and he loved playing with her action figures and they would run around the nearby park, pretending to be private detectives and solving some earth shattering problem. They made a pretty damn good team.
He was fifteen when he kissed her for the first time, it was not because he wanted to kiss her but it was because everything was just perfect for a kiss. They were standing on an empty street, Sooyoung was leaning on a pole, the street lights had softened her features and Jaejoong had realized she was no longer a girl and that she was a mature young lady. She had grown up beautifully, she was tall and yet she had the right curves.
Sooyoung had laughed softly then, when they were saying their good nights. “Aren’t you going to kiss me goodnight?” She had asked and Jaejoong had stiffened. They leaned in together and brushed their lips together. Sooyoung had blushed and ran away and Jaejoong stood there waiting for something to happen. Like fireworks or music to start playing somewhere, or himself to swoon and sigh and sing about how wonderful it was.
But, nothing.
He was disappointed with his first kiss, he had always wanted it to be exaggerated, flamboyant, fairy-tale like, but it, sadly, wasn’t.
Sooyoung and her family moved away after her father got transferred to another place, Jaejoong felt sad. Miserable even, but he knew it was for the best. Sooyoung was tearful when she had to leave and she held on to Jaejoong tightly, sobbing quietly into his shoulders and making promises about writing to him and calling him once every week and at least visiting him once a month.
Jaejoong held her, quietly listening to her promises, knowing very well that they were just empty promises and that, she was going to be just fine where ever she went.
As Jaejoong watched Sooyoung and her family disappear in their car, he knew he was never going to see her again and he was okay with it.
But he also knew that, he would always, always love her a little.
+
Yoochun was his other half.
He was an aloof kid, lost in his own world, humming tunes he composed and he reminded Jaejoong of rain water seeping through brick walls. They studied together in college, studied music composition and Jaejoong found Yoochun interesting. Nothing could hold back Yoochun, nothing got him grounded. He had dreams to touch the sky and bring stars down; when Jaejoong told him the sun would burn him, Yoochun had shrugged and said, I’ll use sun screen.
With Yoochun it was simple. Nothing was complicated; everything was how it was said to be. They sat together in Yoochun’s balcony smoking and talking about everything in between something and nothing when they kissed. It was a straightforward, I want you right now, right here kiss. No hidden meanings, nothing to understand, nothing to decipher, nothing to comprehend. It was the way a kiss was supposed to be.
Yoochun was a one hell of a kisser; he spilled secrets into Jaejoong’s mouth with his lips attached to them. Jaejoong got addicted to kissing Yoochun, in his car, under the stairs, in dark alleys, on the couch, behind the shelves in the library. Everywhere, anywhere, somewhere.
His kisses were a lot like him, straightforward, simple and interesting.
So when Yoochun came over one day to Jaejoong’s place, looking glum and disoriented, Jaejoong knew something was up. Yoochun smiled at Jaejoong, wrapped his arms around him and kissed him. Kissed him deep, kissed him hard and kissed him like he meant it. Jaejoong knew it was a kiss goodbye.
“Dad’s not feeling too well and he’s all the way in the US and he wants mum to come there with Yoohwan and me so we can all live together.” Yoochun had said.
“Why doesn’t your dad come here?” Jaejoong asked, making himself comfortable against Yoochun.
“He has a good job there, a nice pay and a good apartment. And mum doesn’t want to leave Yoohwan and me alone here.”
“You can live with me, it’ll be okay. We are old enough to look after ourselves and we’ll be good boys.” Jaejoong insisted.
But Yoochun had only smiled, widely and sadly. He pulled Jaejoong closer and kissed him once more. One last time.
And this time, Jaejoong had tears in his eyes when he had to say goodbye to Yoochun. It was like ripping his soul into half and convincing himself that it would be okay. When actually he knew it wouldn’t be.
+
Changmin was heart breaker.
He was smooth, suave and a criminal at stealing hearts. Jaejoong met him at a bar. Jaejoong had decided to work part time at a bar, to support himself financially. Changmin walked in one night, sat at the counter and ordered for a coke and sipped on it the whole night and stared at Jaejoong mixing drinks and cleaning the counter.
Jaejoong felt naked under Changmin’s sight, like a lamb being pulled into a butcher’s shop. Jaejoong asked if Changmin wanted anything else, other than his drink - which was not even alcohol. Changmin tilted his head, bit his lip thoughtfully and smiled; “Yes please.” He leaned forward. “The bill. Oh, and your name and number would be just about right.”
Changmin had charms Jaejoong couldn’t ignore or resist. He made Jaejoong laugh, blush, sigh, giggle, think and he said the right things at the right time. He made Jaejoong feel special. He made Jaejoong feel things Jaejoong didn’t know he could feel. Changmin wasn’t a romantic, but he was a classic. He had his way around Jaejoong and his way with Jaejoong.
They were young, free and wild together; Changmin was an animal in bed, he owned every inch of Jaejoong when they made love, he made Jaejoong scream scream his name and Jaejoong enjoyed every erotic moment they shared. Changmin had his own style of having sex, it was spontaneous. Anytime and anywhere was the right moment and place for them.
They had heat, chemistry, passion.
And they were also, Jaejoong’s definition of perfect.
Jaejoong wrote to Yoochun about Changmin, about how maybe, just maybe he was finally in love and this was how it was all supposed to be and how it all would be. He wrote about Changmin’s quick wit and sense of humour, about how Changmin actions were so calculated and how his perceptions were always so four dimensional.
Yoochun was happy to know, of course, but he warned Jaejoong; to be safe, to keep his grounds and to be cautious. Jaejoong replied with a don’t be silly, I know what I am doing. Changmin’s perfect for me.
Changmin was perfect for Jaejoong, but much to Jaejoong’s bad luck, he wasn’t perfect for Changmin.
He vanished one day and Jaejoong didn’t know where to look, who to call, what to do. He felt lost. Other than Changmin himself, he didn’t know anything else. Jaejoong tried calling his phone but it was switched off, he tried visiting places they visited together but he was nowhere to seen. Jaejoong sat in his apartment, sending messages to Changmin’s number and staring at his phone, hoping and praying he would get a reply back or even a call.
But, nothing.
Jaejoong only saw Changmin after a month.
He was driving by a church when he saw Changmin, dressed in the best suit and his hand linked to his pretty bride. Jaejoong slammed on the brakes and ran out of the car and lamely walked towards the crowd that was gathered around the newlywed couple. Jaejoong could feel his heart falling into his gut. He caught Changmin’s eye and the latter just smiled at Jaejoong and nodded curtly, turning back to everyone else.
Jaejoong watched Changmin get into his car with a just married painted on the back and watched Changmin drive away. He sat by the road, feeling empty and hollow and watched the afternoon turn into evening and the evening turned into night.
What was he to do? What had just happened? Why had Changmin done that? Questions exploded in Jaejoong’s mind one after the other and he had no answers. He walked to his car and tried to even out his breathing.
He stopped going out for that, he skipped classes and he barely made it to his job; everything reminded Jaejoong of Changmin, his clothes had Changmin’s scent on them, the sheets he used on his bed, the vessels he used to cook in. There was a touch of Changmin everywhere. To stop himself from thinking, Jaejoong started drinking heavily every night, smoking packs and packs of cigarettes. He would lie on the floor in his small apartment and tears would flow with every sip he had, with every cigarette he smoked.
Changmin had fucked him over.
Yoochun mailed him, called him and sent him texts but Jaejoong rarely replied. He was an empty shell of something that used to, of something that could have been.
When he decided to move on, months and months later, it was like nothing had changed in the outside world. All his university friends had missed him and welcomed him back; his manager was very upset with absence but hired him back anyway. Jaejoong’s world was destroyed by Changmin (or so he thought) but everyone else were unknowingly helping him in building it back.
And so, he moved on.
+
Junsu was his rebound.
He was a happy kid, full of smiles and wide eyes. Jaejoong met him during his final year at university. Junsu was his junior and the voice of an angel. Jaejoong adored him to bits and pieces; Junsu with his smiles made the sun look dull and stars less bright. Jaejoong mailed Yoochun about him; Yoochun would have definitely liked him. He was everything Yoochun wasn’t, Junsu had certain calmness about him, a kind of strange confident aura - despite his bubbly nature, there was something ambitious about him. Though he was gullible, he was strong. He had his head on his shoulders and feet on the ground, he knew what he wanted and he knew he was going to get it.
When Jaejoong had to graduate, he made Junsu promise to mail him every week if not every day. Junsu nodded, tears in his eyes and everything and hugged Jaejoong.
Jaejoong held the kid tightly, they knew each other for just about six month but this kid had ploughed his way into Jaejoong’s heart and created a spot just for himself and refused to leave. Junsu reminded Jaejoong that no matter what happens to anyone, no matter how much anyone fucks you over; there is always a kind of innocence, some sort of childlike thinking that works at the back of your head that won’t let you crumble.
Junsu taught Jaejoong to keep the faith and to never lose hope.
+
And then, Jaejoong met Jiyool.
And along with her, came Yunho.
Jaejoong was sitting at a park after having finished his interview when a small ball rolled towards his feet. He picked it up and stared at it absentmindedly when a small girl of four or five came running up to him.
“Is this ball yours, miss?” Jaejoong asked, smiling at her.
She tugged on the ends of her pink shirt and nodded, smiling shyly. He let the ball roll on the grass; “Here you go, play safely.” He said, ruffling her hair softly. Her smile widened and she thanked him in a quiet voice and picked up the ball and ran in the other direction. Jaejoong watched her run when she tripped and fell face first on grass.
Out of instincts, Jaejoong ran to her and helped her up; “Are you okay? Where is it hurting-“
“Jiyool baby, are you alright?”
Someone had come running from the other direction, he was breathless and red in the face and he was holding a bottle of water.
“Your daughter?” Jaejoong asked, looking up at the man.
“Yeah,” He nodded, kneeling down and brushing the mud of Jiyool’s pants and hands. “Drink this, sweetheart.” He uncorked the bottle of water and handed the bottle to her.
“It’s amazing how she’s not crying or anything.” Jaejoong said, watching the young girl sip on water.
“She is precious, isn’t she? Thank you for your help, I am Yunho.” The man introduced himself.
And from that day on, Jaejoong met Jiyool every day at the park, she was a very shy five year old and she took her time opening up to Jaejoong; and every time he met Jiyool, it was guaranteed that he would meet Yunho.
Jaejoong learned that Yunho was a divorcee and that his ex-wife and he were sharing custody of Jiyool and Jiyool would visit her mother every weekend. Yunho led a pretty normal life, a boring life in his terms but Jaejoong found everything so exciting. They would meet in the park every day, Jaejoong and Yunho would talk and walk around, keeping an eye on Jiyool as she ran around excitedly between the slide and the swings. Yunho was a public defender, working at well off cooperate firm. But Jaejoong also learned that Yunho wanted to be a dancer, to be on stage more than anything. But he had dismissed this desire as being young and foolish and everyone wants things when they are young, I did too but now I know better was his excuse all the time. Jaejoong wanted to disagree with him, he wanted Yunho to pursue dancing, to chase his dreams. He was only thirty one, not that old. But Yunho would smile at Jaejoong and look at Jiyool playing, “I have responsibilities, I can’t turn my back to that because I want to do silly things.” And Jaejoong could not argue with that.
One day, when Jiyool was over at her mother’s; Jaejoong ended up in front of Yunho’s house. He had been there a couple of times, sometimes for dinner, sometimes to babysit Jiyool when Yunho had to work over time. He was no stranger at the Jung household.
“Let’s go for a drive?” Jaejoong asked, smiling widely at Yunho, when the latter opened the door. “I’m bored and I figured you would be too.”
Yunho chuckled and pulled out his keys; “I drive us to wherever and you drive us back.”
“Done.”
They sat in the car and drove, drove for miles and hours talking to each other about everything; Jaejoong could so easily open up to Yunho, so easily talk to him about everything; he told Yunho about Yoochun and how much Yoochun means to him, and about Changmin and what had happened to him, and about Junsu and his silliness. Jaejoong spilled out his life and Yunho listened to it, hands on the wheel, eyes on the road but his ears to Jaejoong’s heart.
On their way back, after having a small break and ice cream, it was Yunho’s turn to let Jaejoong in on his life. He told Jaejoong about how he had met his ex-wife at a party and after a few drinks, the found each other in some bedroom, undressing each other and kissing and fucking. Yunho told Jaejoong about how they were nearly going to get Jiyool aborted but both their parents were against it and they were ready to support their education and the child and so at the young age of twenty something, Yunho found himself married and a father of six month old daughter.
“Do you regret it?” Jaejoong asked, glancing at Yunho.
“Not one bit.” No hesitation.
“Jiyool is the best thing that’s happened in my life…”
Jaejoong smiled. “I am sure.”
“…she also led me to you.”
Jaejoong could not deny his crush on Yunho, it was massive and in your face kind. When Yoochun had come down for a visit Jaejoong spoke and gushed about Yunho, about how much of a great father he is, a great son, an amazing friend and it went on and on and on till Yoochun had to interrupt him with a “Yes Jaejoong, long time no see. I am doing fine, thank you for asking.” Jaejoong had blushed, slapped Yoochun on the arm and bought him ice cream.
It was new year’s eve, Jaejoong was at Yunho’s and Yunho had gone to tuck in a very reluctant Jiyool into bed. She wanted to stay awake till at least two, like big people, she has said, But Yunho, being the sweet talker he was, cooed her into bed and kissed her goodnight.
“All well?” Jaejoong asked, sipping on his wine.
“Uh, yes.” Yunho smiled, picking up his own glass. “Kids these days.”
Jaejoong stared at Yunho for a while; noticed the unbelievably small and attractive mole on top of upper lip, the way Yunho’s lips smile was curved and perfect, the way his eyes were deep and thoughtful and his fingers, long and sexy.
“Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah.” Jaejoong shook his head, breaking his train of thoughts.
“Let’s go, c’mon it’s nearly midnight.” Yunho reached forward and grabbed Jaejoong by the wrist and pulled him up the stairs to the terrace. They had planned to watch the fireworks from Yunho’s terrace to welcome the New Year.
The fireworks started bursting, people were screaming and hooting and shouting. Jaejoong turned to face Yunho; “Happy New Year.” He said, smiling widely.
Yunho bit lower lip and smiled back; “Happy New Year, Jae.” He said, leaning forward and kissing Jaejoong and pulling the younger man into his arms.
Jaejoong gasped slightly but gave into the kiss; it was how he had imagined his first kiss to be, there were fireworks everywhere, people were clapping, shouting, hooting and there was music and merry and butterflies in his tummy. He felt safe in Yunho’s arms, happy, content. He felt like he was home.
When they pulled back, Yunho took Jaejoong’s hands in his own and chuckled; “Jiyool told me to man up and kiss you already because I keep acting like a love sick puppy when you are not around.”
Jaejoong laughed carelessly and took Yunho’s face in his hands; “Well, the young lady is right.”
Yunho grinned widely and kissed Jaejoong again; “Move in with us.”
Jaejoong jerked; “What - no, how can I? That would be - “
“You know…” Yunho smiled looking at Jaejoong’s state of confusion. “I wasn’t really asking.”
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Months later, in his mail to Yoochun, Jaejoong wrote:
Bitch,
Get your ass to Korea right now. I need a best man asap.
And don’t give me excuses or I will cut you up.
Of course, Jiyool had to ask Yunho to ‘just give him the damn ring before hell breaks loose.’ when we were having dinner one night. She’s six Yoochun.
So come quick :D
And also, you will finally meet Junsu! Finally. You will love him no doubt.
Anyway, lots of love.
Jae.
Kim Jaejoong believed that he had fallen in love many, many, many times in the twenty six years of his life. But in his twenty seventh year, he found comfort, home and family when in love.
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