in love but not even close to her
so those of u who know me......
i got home tonight pretty late
first day off of work in almost three wks
and i enjoyed it.
i turned on my comp and hit enter twice so it started the song i had paused------it seemed so me. sadly, its true
i prob coula had her, but i told her to go make up with her bf.
turkey day was kinda sad for me- out of all people over 12 i was the only one without someone to talk to--- it kinda hurt bc it seems alll too often its me. lonely??? yes and no, it hurt still. its always nice to have someone to turn and talk to- and its nice not to have anyone to answer to, but lately it seems the former is plugging at my mind rather than the latter. tonight i received a genuine compliment. it hurt soooo much. someone told me they cant wait to go to my sis' wedding. i originally thought she was kidding when she said shed go- she ytold me the only way she wouldnt go was if i had an actual gf but if not shed love to go. it hurt
cuz i thought she was kidding when she originally said shed go, and cuz i want her to be that gf
hecnce the next post
oi
i love her soo much and its hard everytime i see her
i (sadly) stopped (at least attempetd to but couldnt) hanging out with her bc of how hurt i am after i see her with someone else,, sure im happy for her, but at the same time im even more hurt, bc i know I would be soo much better for her, and yet tonight, i tell her to go make up with him so she can be happy. it hurts more and more each time i see her. im crushed everytime i see her smile, knowing its not me that caused it, im saddened when i see her mad, and perhaps worst of all i cant see past her. ive tried, with and without her there, but i still think of her all the time. ive done soem things i dare not say, but to her i dare not say anything, i can only turn and stare at her. whne i feel her touch, see her smile, hear her laugh, i am in heaven,; then immediately i am thrown from that as i realize it hurts to know its not me...........
she knows, ive told her many a time- sober too, so it cant be mistaken, but its tough, for me, that it will be remain my love for her for now
i got home tonight pretty late
first day off of work in almost three wks
and i enjoyed it.
i turned on my comp and hit enter twice so it started the song i had paused------it seemed so me. sadly, its true
i prob coula had her, but i told her to go make up with her bf.
turkey day was kinda sad for me- out of all people over 12 i was the only one without someone to talk to--- it kinda hurt bc it seems alll too often its me. lonely??? yes and no, it hurt still. its always nice to have someone to turn and talk to- and its nice not to have anyone to answer to, but lately it seems the former is plugging at my mind rather than the latter. tonight i received a genuine compliment. it hurt soooo much. someone told me they cant wait to go to my sis' wedding. i originally thought she was kidding when she said shed go- she ytold me the only way she wouldnt go was if i had an actual gf but if not shed love to go. it hurt
cuz i thought she was kidding when she originally said shed go, and cuz i want her to be that gf
hecnce the next post
oi
i love her soo much and its hard everytime i see her
i (sadly) stopped (at least attempetd to but couldnt) hanging out with her bc of how hurt i am after i see her with someone else,, sure im happy for her, but at the same time im even more hurt, bc i know I would be soo much better for her, and yet tonight, i tell her to go make up with him so she can be happy. it hurts more and more each time i see her. im crushed everytime i see her smile, knowing its not me that caused it, im saddened when i see her mad, and perhaps worst of all i cant see past her. ive tried, with and without her there, but i still think of her all the time. ive done soem things i dare not say, but to her i dare not say anything, i can only turn and stare at her. whne i feel her touch, see her smile, hear her laugh, i am in heaven,; then immediately i am thrown from that as i realize it hurts to know its not me...........
she knows, ive told her many a time- sober too, so it cant be mistaken, but its tough, for me, that it will be remain my love for her for now