Big surprise
Well, I reckon it's about time I blogged about the fact that I'm pregnant. The main reason I haven't mentioned it before is that I still don't really believe it, even though I'm almost fifteen weeks along now. We had been trying to have a baby since 2001 without success and had long since given up hope. There was nothing wrong with either of us as far as the doctors could tell, it just wasn't happening. This turned out to be much more difficult to deal with than I'd expected - it was a type of bereavement that was just as intense as the "normal" kind, and a lot harder to talk about.
Now all of a sudden it looks like it's happening after all. Perhaps it was the Burgundy wine, or the root vegetables. My doctor says that sometimes there are miracles in Cluny. I still don't quite dare become excited, even though I know I'm past the most dangerous stage of pregnancy now. I got so much into the habit of assuming it would never happen that it's taking a considerable mental adjustment to get used to the fact that it's happening, and I'm definitely not there yet. I've told a lot of people and on an intellectual level I'm certainly pleased, but I haven't made any real, tangible preparations yet. I can't see that happening until the summer.
In the meantime, all the ideas and plans about being a parent which I had carefully pushed into the furthest recesses of my mind and tried to ignore for the past few years are now slowly being dragged out and dusted off. To add to these ideas there's the challenge and interest of bringing up a child in France, something I hadn't anticipated when we first started trying to have a baby (at that point we were still in California). Thankfully, France seems like a child-friendly place - they certainly have a lot of incentives to encourage people to pop them out - and we know a lot of people with babies and small children who will be able to give us advice.
If there's one thing I've learnt from the long wait, it's that having a child is truly a privilege, however banal and everyday it might appear from the outside. I hope that's something I never allow myself to forget.
Now all of a sudden it looks like it's happening after all. Perhaps it was the Burgundy wine, or the root vegetables. My doctor says that sometimes there are miracles in Cluny. I still don't quite dare become excited, even though I know I'm past the most dangerous stage of pregnancy now. I got so much into the habit of assuming it would never happen that it's taking a considerable mental adjustment to get used to the fact that it's happening, and I'm definitely not there yet. I've told a lot of people and on an intellectual level I'm certainly pleased, but I haven't made any real, tangible preparations yet. I can't see that happening until the summer.
In the meantime, all the ideas and plans about being a parent which I had carefully pushed into the furthest recesses of my mind and tried to ignore for the past few years are now slowly being dragged out and dusted off. To add to these ideas there's the challenge and interest of bringing up a child in France, something I hadn't anticipated when we first started trying to have a baby (at that point we were still in California). Thankfully, France seems like a child-friendly place - they certainly have a lot of incentives to encourage people to pop them out - and we know a lot of people with babies and small children who will be able to give us advice.
If there's one thing I've learnt from the long wait, it's that having a child is truly a privilege, however banal and everyday it might appear from the outside. I hope that's something I never allow myself to forget.