new year
So, like last year, I never really made resolutions, but instead reflect upon the past year and see if I have made any progress with myself. I remember wanting to be RID of 2005, but at least now I didn't want to get rid of 2006. However, I'm turning 21 this year. That is just gross.
This year went by pretty fast. I mean, there were parts where absolutely NOTHING happened that was exciting in my life (as in, the ENTIRE FREAKING SUMMER). That is just one reason why I want to live in sa during the summer, but that is only a possiblity. I still have to work out this working thing. And living thing. It can happen. I'm determined, but I'm not guaranteeing. Uh, I guess I will have to apply for jobs at home, too. That will just make things that much more complicated.
I keep thinking about law school, so it seems that that is what I am destined for. I really didn't see that coming when I came to Trinity, but I also didn't see it as impossible. I honestly did have NO idea what I wanted out of my life when I came to Trinity. And while I am not 100% (as I can't make decisions to save my life sometimes), I feel it is right. One thing that I am 100% on is having independence. I want to live my own life. I like being alone. As much as I hated change when I was younger, I get more and more excited about it now. I like to have things that are familiar to fall back on, and I always will, but there is definately a huge part of me that wants to BE ME. And me only. If that makes sense. I mean, yes, I guess I would like to always have that sense of security, but less and less is it a very important part of my life. I know it will be there, it just doesn't have to be as close as before.
I have also learned that honesty is by far the most important thing a person can possess. I know many people who do things that perfect children might not do (be it get drunk way too often, etc.), but they are honest about it and know who they are. I don't like phoneyness (is that a word? lol). I have never liked it. I find it, in all 'honesty', to be rude and deceitful and kind of presumptuous for one to think that they can get away with it, or manipulate people in that way. If you have a problem, say it. I know I have, and I thope those people appreciated it (maybe not at the time, but upon reflection), just as I appreciate it when someone is honest with me. The truth is, university is a very sheltered world; I have known it all along. As much as we can say we are independent, we are not, really. Professors hold your hand whether you are aware of it or not. In the real world, people will be annoying, mean, unfair, will fire you for no reason, etc., and even though I am well aware I have not really been exposed to this, at least I know it exists. I mean, that's all I can do right now. It's easier to have this sheltered life. I only have it for four years, so why not take advantage, I suppose.
There are some people that you talk to and you know there is a hidden agenda beneath their words. It might not be the worst thing a person can do, but it's not a good thing, either. There are times it would feel pretty darn good to call people out on some stuff, but common sense tells me that sanity is worth more at this point than that. The funny thing is, my friends all the way from elementary school have never come across that way. I mean, never. You would think we would have grown apart slightly over the years, but it really hasn't happened. There are no obligations, rules or agendas to our friendship. It just exists. It's a wonderful thing to have. It's also rare, though, and that's why it's so special.
This year went by pretty fast. I mean, there were parts where absolutely NOTHING happened that was exciting in my life (as in, the ENTIRE FREAKING SUMMER). That is just one reason why I want to live in sa during the summer, but that is only a possiblity. I still have to work out this working thing. And living thing. It can happen. I'm determined, but I'm not guaranteeing. Uh, I guess I will have to apply for jobs at home, too. That will just make things that much more complicated.
I keep thinking about law school, so it seems that that is what I am destined for. I really didn't see that coming when I came to Trinity, but I also didn't see it as impossible. I honestly did have NO idea what I wanted out of my life when I came to Trinity. And while I am not 100% (as I can't make decisions to save my life sometimes), I feel it is right. One thing that I am 100% on is having independence. I want to live my own life. I like being alone. As much as I hated change when I was younger, I get more and more excited about it now. I like to have things that are familiar to fall back on, and I always will, but there is definately a huge part of me that wants to BE ME. And me only. If that makes sense. I mean, yes, I guess I would like to always have that sense of security, but less and less is it a very important part of my life. I know it will be there, it just doesn't have to be as close as before.
I have also learned that honesty is by far the most important thing a person can possess. I know many people who do things that perfect children might not do (be it get drunk way too often, etc.), but they are honest about it and know who they are. I don't like phoneyness (is that a word? lol). I have never liked it. I find it, in all 'honesty', to be rude and deceitful and kind of presumptuous for one to think that they can get away with it, or manipulate people in that way. If you have a problem, say it. I know I have, and I thope those people appreciated it (maybe not at the time, but upon reflection), just as I appreciate it when someone is honest with me. The truth is, university is a very sheltered world; I have known it all along. As much as we can say we are independent, we are not, really. Professors hold your hand whether you are aware of it or not. In the real world, people will be annoying, mean, unfair, will fire you for no reason, etc., and even though I am well aware I have not really been exposed to this, at least I know it exists. I mean, that's all I can do right now. It's easier to have this sheltered life. I only have it for four years, so why not take advantage, I suppose.
There are some people that you talk to and you know there is a hidden agenda beneath their words. It might not be the worst thing a person can do, but it's not a good thing, either. There are times it would feel pretty darn good to call people out on some stuff, but common sense tells me that sanity is worth more at this point than that. The funny thing is, my friends all the way from elementary school have never come across that way. I mean, never. You would think we would have grown apart slightly over the years, but it really hasn't happened. There are no obligations, rules or agendas to our friendship. It just exists. It's a wonderful thing to have. It's also rare, though, and that's why it's so special.