On Translation: When is a Tranz not a Tranz?
I've hit a major roadblock. Been working on getting Sono-san's "Miraiyosouzu" (English working title: Presumed Future) and had sent off part 1 to be beta'd not long ago. Anyway, I am not happy with my results. The beta was nice; it's not her fault, it's just me. I know the tranz was spot-on, so why doesn't it "read" well? I've been kicking it around for a while, but it just doesn't do the original justice. I thought it was the "flow" or some other factor, but I didn't figure it out until I saw this blog: When is a Translation not a Translation? posted by transubstantiation on October 15, 2008. http://transubstantiation.wordpress.com/2008/10/15/when-is-a-translation-not-a-translation/
According to this article, "John Dryden, the poet, playwright, literary critic and translator eloquently divided the types (or problems) of translation into three categories:
metaphrase, where an author/translator translates word for word
paraphrase, where an author/translator translates sense for sense
imitation, where an author/translator abandons the original text"
I realized that I'm so conditioned to do a direct tranz (chokuyaku) that I'm really doing 80% metaphrasing, 20% paraphrasing (paraphrasing as needed, but mostly for sentence structure, idioms and the like - not changing the CONTENT) and absolutely NO IMITATION. I don't want to do a 100% imitation route, but now I realize that I have to incorporate some degree of the "imitation" if I want to create something that is enjoyably readable in English. Another point that dawned upon me was that in anime and manga tranz, I'm working with mostly dialog and SFX, not prose. I'm finding out now that translating prose is a LOT different from translating dialog - it requires more "creative" writing to convey the mood and intent properly. *sigh* Did I bite off more than I can chew? How do I stay "true" to the original and get creative content-wise at the same time? I know I do get creative with the word selection to a degree (considering the denotative-connotative implications/ speaker's perspective, etc.) but how do I get "creative" with the content and still stay true?
I know I'm putting more pressure than necessary upon myself, but damn it, I want to do a good job - no, an excellent job - for Sono-san's story. I don't think I've ever agonized over a tranz this much... not even for episodes 43-45 & 50, not even when I wracked my brain to come up with 'sovereign' as a gender-neutral term.
I've been looking at some translated novels, but it's mostly E2J, not J2E. Oh, the dilemma.