Clooney...you ol' bastard!

[scarycarrey]

This was just brought to my attention. You know...he may have pepper gray hair, wrinkly twinkly eyes, and a sense of humor...but MY hair is shinier, my eyes are MORE expressive, and my sense of humor FAR SURPASSES HIS. I've seen his movies, and I gotta tell ya, I'm not impressed. And he's after Renee again! AGAIN! When she and I broke up, he was all over her like flies on shit. Now she's divorced and he's clung to her yet again. I remember him calling ALL THE DAMN TIME for her when we were together. Then she'd 'magically disappear' for a few hours, only to return wearing different clothing and smelling like Aramis after-shave. I didn't ask, because I TRUST the women I date. If she tells me that she went to the store, spilled milk on her new dress and had to purchase another one that looked like a man's button up t-shirt, then I believe her. If she says, "Oh...well, I was at the mall and they had little samples of men's cologne and I put it on to remind me of you while I was away," even though it isn't the cologne I personally wear...I let it slide. I mean, she OBVIOUSLY can't stay in a relationship because she's so upset about our break up. I think it's sad really. She can't find happiness because she isn't with ME.

You know what...you can have her. HAVE HER. I DON'T CARE, ok? I'm completely comfortable with my bachelor status. I don't need a woman to come home to every day so that I can shower her with gifts and affection, and to possibly keep me from committing suicide. I don't NEED that kind of 'fodder' unlike SOME people. So George, if you're that insecure that you have to date a whore slut non-committal publicity-leper woman like Zellweger, then SO BE IT. Dig a grave, man. It won't be far away.