513 Room of British, Saturday Evening
The door to 513 opened with a thunk, revealing a boy who was, to the untrained eye, entirely unfamiliar.
His clothes were torn and ragged. His face was covered in lines of ink. His hair was blue.
His very large Saint Bernard had a shaved shoulder.
His luggage was nowhere to be found.
He crashed down on the bed without a word. And thought about
It was Sunday when Jeff had arrived in Heathrow. It was also Sunday when Jeff caused a very large disturbance when he attempted to steal his dog out of containment, wrecked a conveyor belt, and told a stewardess she had very attractive elbows on her head.
He had physically walked through the countryside for the entirety of the day, driven by paranoid fears of his mother popping up unexpectedly bearing very expensive radar equipment.
On Monday, Jeff recovered his socks. This lead into a very interesting incident featuring a horse and Nana's strange and bewildering acid flashbacks to another horse of her acquaintance, which meant the pair had ended up being chased across a train station by a very large Appaloosa.
The horse in question had come out slightly purple, but otherwise unharmed.
On Tuesday, it had been time to return home. Having not seen his mother in quite some time, Jeff found enough courage to attempt to sneak back into London. Unfortunately for him, however, that is when he encountered a band of sherpas on their first vacation in fifty years. On a train. While facing a very attractive woman with mildly questionable choices in wardrobe.
On Wednesday, he chased the sherpas north, towards Scotland. They had his flight ticket. Nana found and killed their dinner, which turned out to be several mildly deformed frogs venturing into breeding territory.
Jeff would never look at Robin the same way again.
On Thursday, the tables got turned when the band of sherpas discovered Jeff camping out in a hayloft with his dog, three sheep, and a nightlight shaped like a woman's breasts that he was using to try and decipher some very interesting graffiti on the wall that featured a lot of gussets.
Angry at what they perceived to be some kind of travel guide stalker, they chased Jeff further north, where they ended up in the general mountainous area.
On Friday, both groups faced off on a mountain top. As is typical for these kind of situations, this caused Jeff's flight ticket to take flight, something which propelled him to try to climb Ben Nevis.
It did not end well, but at least he got his flight ticket in the end.
He had spent most of Saturday attempting to argue with the women at the desk at Edinburgh Airport about allowing him to use his Tuesday Heathrow-Dulles ticket to fly from Scotland to Virginia on Saturday.
Being that these women were of the female persuasion, the entire situation had not ended well.
Hence the hair, the shoulder, the clothes and the ink.
Though, perhaps, not entirely in that order.
[ open ]
His clothes were torn and ragged. His face was covered in lines of ink. His hair was blue.
His very large Saint Bernard had a shaved shoulder.
His luggage was nowhere to be found.
He crashed down on the bed without a word. And thought about
It was Sunday when Jeff had arrived in Heathrow. It was also Sunday when Jeff caused a very large disturbance when he attempted to steal his dog out of containment, wrecked a conveyor belt, and told a stewardess she had very attractive elbows on her head.
He had physically walked through the countryside for the entirety of the day, driven by paranoid fears of his mother popping up unexpectedly bearing very expensive radar equipment.
On Monday, Jeff recovered his socks. This lead into a very interesting incident featuring a horse and Nana's strange and bewildering acid flashbacks to another horse of her acquaintance, which meant the pair had ended up being chased across a train station by a very large Appaloosa.
The horse in question had come out slightly purple, but otherwise unharmed.
On Tuesday, it had been time to return home. Having not seen his mother in quite some time, Jeff found enough courage to attempt to sneak back into London. Unfortunately for him, however, that is when he encountered a band of sherpas on their first vacation in fifty years. On a train. While facing a very attractive woman with mildly questionable choices in wardrobe.
On Wednesday, he chased the sherpas north, towards Scotland. They had his flight ticket. Nana found and killed their dinner, which turned out to be several mildly deformed frogs venturing into breeding territory.
Jeff would never look at Robin the same way again.
On Thursday, the tables got turned when the band of sherpas discovered Jeff camping out in a hayloft with his dog, three sheep, and a nightlight shaped like a woman's breasts that he was using to try and decipher some very interesting graffiti on the wall that featured a lot of gussets.
Angry at what they perceived to be some kind of travel guide stalker, they chased Jeff further north, where they ended up in the general mountainous area.
On Friday, both groups faced off on a mountain top. As is typical for these kind of situations, this caused Jeff's flight ticket to take flight, something which propelled him to try to climb Ben Nevis.
It did not end well, but at least he got his flight ticket in the end.
He had spent most of Saturday attempting to argue with the women at the desk at Edinburgh Airport about allowing him to use his Tuesday Heathrow-Dulles ticket to fly from Scotland to Virginia on Saturday.
Being that these women were of the female persuasion, the entire situation had not ended well.
Hence the hair, the shoulder, the clothes and the ink.
Though, perhaps, not entirely in that order.
[ open ]