513 Room of British, Sunday Morning
Jeff was writing a letter. It was a really nice letter, he felt, and it would really help the Principal feel just a little bit more at home in the school.
Dear Principal Umbridge,
How are you? I wanted to say thank you again for that really gracious help with the nudity thing last week! I hear you've also been inventing many other useful solutions for modern living like helping people keep from talking rubbish to people they care about and accidentally getting naked with someone in public if things get out of hand and finding an excuse to have a lie down every once in a bit.
Have you ever considered bathroom locks? There's been some lockless bathrooms in the past and there must be some sort of way to solve that. Oh, and dental floss! You've got to clean your teeth, obviously, but it's so easy to get trapped, isn't it? Actually, most things that happen in the bathroom could use some scrutiny, like toilet seats and flowery soap and the nudity requirements.
Not that it's that bad here bathroom-wise or even room-wise! Actually the school is very excellent and I'm really really pleased but of course there's always things that can be better! I mean, my roommate Peter has to go down to the shack all the time to be with his girlfriend because there's no retractable walls or anything in our room and I'm sure there's got to be a solution for that. I think Chad's got these problems too, he's really really big and he doesn't really fit in places which must be hard for him and his boyfriend. Did you know he's in a band?
There's been people saying things that aren't too nice about you lately, although I'm sure Peter means well (he's a knight, they always mean well! Except for the evil ones). I just figured I'd send you a little encouragement so you don't end up all embarrassed and disappointed before they've got time to get used to you. It's hard to become part of these things if you're new, people sort of conglomerate a lot. I'm certain you'll get it in no time flat!
Signed,
Jeff Murdock.
He folded the letter, put it in an envelope, and went to slip it under the principal's door.
[ establishy; Chad and Peter implicated in Umbridgian badwrong with permission. i blame this all on Gordon Frohman ]
Dear Principal Umbridge,
How are you? I wanted to say thank you again for that really gracious help with the nudity thing last week! I hear you've also been inventing many other useful solutions for modern living like helping people keep from talking rubbish to people they care about and accidentally getting naked with someone in public if things get out of hand and finding an excuse to have a lie down every once in a bit.
Have you ever considered bathroom locks? There's been some lockless bathrooms in the past and there must be some sort of way to solve that. Oh, and dental floss! You've got to clean your teeth, obviously, but it's so easy to get trapped, isn't it? Actually, most things that happen in the bathroom could use some scrutiny, like toilet seats and flowery soap and the nudity requirements.
Not that it's that bad here bathroom-wise or even room-wise! Actually the school is very excellent and I'm really really pleased but of course there's always things that can be better! I mean, my roommate Peter has to go down to the shack all the time to be with his girlfriend because there's no retractable walls or anything in our room and I'm sure there's got to be a solution for that. I think Chad's got these problems too, he's really really big and he doesn't really fit in places which must be hard for him and his boyfriend. Did you know he's in a band?
There's been people saying things that aren't too nice about you lately, although I'm sure Peter means well (he's a knight, they always mean well! Except for the evil ones). I just figured I'd send you a little encouragement so you don't end up all embarrassed and disappointed before they've got time to get used to you. It's hard to become part of these things if you're new, people sort of conglomerate a lot. I'm certain you'll get it in no time flat!
Signed,
Jeff Murdock.
He folded the letter, put it in an envelope, and went to slip it under the principal's door.
[ establishy; Chad and Peter implicated in Umbridgian badwrong with permission. i blame this all on Gordon Frohman ]