Je Suis Désolé
I've been so depressed lately. I haven't left my room since I went to the park. I haven't eaten nor slept. I feel sick and I look horrible. My mom told me I needed to eat or else I was going to get really sick like I used to...
When she said that, I had thought that I didn't care whether I lived or died.. I didn't see much reason in living anymore. I thought I had lost my reason to live.
I took so many sleeping pills, hoping they'd numb me so I could fall asleep.. forever. I don't remember much, but I do remember hitting the floor.. the bottle was still in my hand. Thoughts rolled through my mind...
"You don't have any reason to live anymore."
"You fucked up, its all your fault."
"She hates you."
I was about to let go when this last thought rolled through my mind..
"She won't forgive you."
I somehow made myself vomit, I don't remember doing it. I must have passed out after that. I woke up with the sun in my eyes.. I was still lying on the floor...
Why didn't I go through it? Because I realized I do have a reason to live... My reason is to make her forgive me.. no matter how long it takes. If we don't get back together in time, I understand.. I wouldn't want to get back with me either if I had fucked up like that... But if she could just forgive me I'd be able to live.. or die.. happy.
So I end this entry with these final words, with hope that she will read this...
Juste pas assez
Je n'ai besoin de plus de rien semble me satisfaire ne le veux pas J'ai besoin juste de lui pour respirer
Pour se sentir, pour me connaître suis doigt vivant profondément dans la limite me
Montre que vous m'aimez et que nous appartenons ensemble détendez
Tournez autour et prenez ma main
When she said that, I had thought that I didn't care whether I lived or died.. I didn't see much reason in living anymore. I thought I had lost my reason to live.
I took so many sleeping pills, hoping they'd numb me so I could fall asleep.. forever. I don't remember much, but I do remember hitting the floor.. the bottle was still in my hand. Thoughts rolled through my mind...
"You don't have any reason to live anymore."
"You fucked up, its all your fault."
"She hates you."
I was about to let go when this last thought rolled through my mind..
"She won't forgive you."
I somehow made myself vomit, I don't remember doing it. I must have passed out after that. I woke up with the sun in my eyes.. I was still lying on the floor...
Why didn't I go through it? Because I realized I do have a reason to live... My reason is to make her forgive me.. no matter how long it takes. If we don't get back together in time, I understand.. I wouldn't want to get back with me either if I had fucked up like that... But if she could just forgive me I'd be able to live.. or die.. happy.
So I end this entry with these final words, with hope that she will read this...
Juste pas assez
Je n'ai besoin de plus de rien semble me satisfaire ne le veux pas J'ai besoin juste de lui pour respirer
Pour se sentir, pour me connaître suis doigt vivant profondément dans la limite me
Montre que vous m'aimez et que nous appartenons ensemble détendez
Tournez autour et prenez ma main