Friends Who... Aren't
Okay, so it's been almost a month since I finally faced the truth about my supposed best friend... so I guess it's time I talk about it.
Amanda and I have always had kind of an on/off relationship type thing. We'd spend weeks together with hardly any time apart and then go for weeks without even really speaking (despite efforts on my part). I always just accepted it as the type of person that she was.
But as of this month it's been a full year since I've been able to see her and it really started to bother me... Anytime I mentioned us getting together she'd act all excited but ignore me when the time we'd planned came around. It started to frustrate me but I was scared to let her go, scared of being without her. I also didn't want to lose such a long friendship (nine years). So I tolerated it.
I took the weekend after Memorial Day off specifically so that we could hang out. We made the plans like three months in advance. Up to a week before she was still assuring me that it was still going to happen. But after that one-week mark the silence began. I called, texted, emailed... all to no avail. I wound up spending my weekend off alone just sitting around the house. And that was it. I finally made the decision that no matter how long we'd been friends or how much I loved her I had to do what was best for me... All that she was doing was causing me pain and holding me back... so I let her go.
It's been almost a month since we've talked and I finally had to message her again to find out the answer to a question or two. I feel so much better since I've stopped talking to her. My aunt has always said that she can tell when I've been talking to her because of the way that I act and talk to her.
I guess that sometimes it just takes making a few real friends to recognize the ones who aren't really there for you when you need them... I love my new friends so much but I will always have a special place in my heart for my first best friend even if we did outgrow each other...
~~Manda
Amanda and I have always had kind of an on/off relationship type thing. We'd spend weeks together with hardly any time apart and then go for weeks without even really speaking (despite efforts on my part). I always just accepted it as the type of person that she was.
But as of this month it's been a full year since I've been able to see her and it really started to bother me... Anytime I mentioned us getting together she'd act all excited but ignore me when the time we'd planned came around. It started to frustrate me but I was scared to let her go, scared of being without her. I also didn't want to lose such a long friendship (nine years). So I tolerated it.
I took the weekend after Memorial Day off specifically so that we could hang out. We made the plans like three months in advance. Up to a week before she was still assuring me that it was still going to happen. But after that one-week mark the silence began. I called, texted, emailed... all to no avail. I wound up spending my weekend off alone just sitting around the house. And that was it. I finally made the decision that no matter how long we'd been friends or how much I loved her I had to do what was best for me... All that she was doing was causing me pain and holding me back... so I let her go.
It's been almost a month since we've talked and I finally had to message her again to find out the answer to a question or two. I feel so much better since I've stopped talking to her. My aunt has always said that she can tell when I've been talking to her because of the way that I act and talk to her.
I guess that sometimes it just takes making a few real friends to recognize the ones who aren't really there for you when you need them... I love my new friends so much but I will always have a special place in my heart for my first best friend even if we did outgrow each other...
~~Manda