Customer Suckage... ..."That's NOT how the cheese cooks!!"
Okay, to recap I am a Subway sandwich artist. Despite being told by my manager (who is awesome) the day I started that we have a lot of "assholes", I really have not dealt with too many Sucky Customers over the nearly three months I have worked at this one.
Until this week.
Now I only have a few sucks, most minor (one really just an annoyance) but I will save the worst for last.
First order of business: credit cards. Please do not shove it in my face as I am still taking my gloves off and putting your sandwich in the bag and I have not even put my number in to pull up the register yet. I will ignore it as I bring up the register and ring up your order, and then I will reach for it.
As far as cash goes--do not EVER play that game where you hold the money out and jerk it back. EVER. Seriously, it makes me want to break something.
And now for the customer-specific sucks!
Okay, so this guy was really a minor annoyance at worst but I seriously thought that I was going to go crazy...
Me: *waving*
ASG: Annoyingly Specific Guy
Me: *rattles off opening spiel, gets bread cut and ready to use* And what kind of sandwich?
ASG: I want the roasted chicken breast--but I want everything seperate.
Me: Okay...
ASG: You can go ahead and wrap the bread up like that, and just put the chicken in the bag. I want it all seperate.
Me: *does this; gets soup bowl for veggies* Okay, so what kind of veggies?
ASG: Lettuce, tomatoes... *I put tomatoes on top of the lettuce in the soup bowl; he gives a huge disgusted sigh* UGH, I want everything SEPERATE.
Me: Oh... so you want the tomatoes and everything seperate as well?
ASG: YES...
Me: *stares at him for a second*
ASG: Could you get rid of those tomatoes please?
Me: *throws them in the trash bin, gets two new and puts them into speciality bag*
ASG: Sorry, but this is for my lunch tomorrow and the other one is for now! *laughs*
Me: *just looks at him*
The rest of the encounter was painless... but seriously, WTF? I get not wanting the meat/veggies on the sandwich because it could get soggy, but WHY could none of the veggies touch exactly?! I had to waste 4 specialty bags on him--and those ain't cheap!
And also--conversation between my co-worker and I:
M: They always have to make it harder than it has to be...
Me: I know right! We could at least have gotten a tip...*
*This is not meant to sound as bad as it does... I realize that we were doing our job, but when you have to waste time while a line grows and make a lot of extra effort than a reward is appreciated. And tips always make my day--they can be fifty cents for all I care, they just make me feel appreciated. So please, tip your sandwich artist!
Now this is the real suck... This woman really ticked me off!
Okay, how many of you have had a Subway pizza, or hell even seen the way mozzerella cheese cooks? It comes out either brown or black, usually black in our toaster oven. Therefore the pizzas we make almost always come out looking burnt--and we have had to deal with shit over this many times. That's fine, I understand if you have a picky child who won't eat anything that looks like it's been burned (hell, I wouldn't have gone near a Subway pizza as a child) but at least most of them are nice about it.
Not this woman.
She has been mostly pleasant until I ring her up and she informs me she wants a pizza (despite my having overheard her talking to her little boy and talking about a pizza and asking "Do you need anything else" and being told no *headdesk*) so with a sigh of resignation (read: my thoughts - I'M DONE YAY NOW I CAN GO CONCENTRATE ON GETTING READY TO CLOSE... Crap, now I have to ring her up and go another two minutes to make her pizza. Great.) I ring her up and prepare the pizza.
So I put the pizza in the oven and stand there until it's done. I pull it out, and the fun begins.
EPL (Evil Pizza Lady)
EPL: That pizza's burned.
Me: No ma'am, that's just the way the cheese cooks.
EPL: No, it's burned.
Me: *sigh* The cheese turns black when it cooks. *to prove point, I cut the pizza in half and stick my finger in the middle--this has become a necessary action now because a good number of pizzas are returned to be heated in the microwave because of not being done in the middle* See, it's not even cooked all the way yet--it's cold in the middle.
EPL: NO IT'S BURNED!" (Very loud, ugly voice)
Me: Well ma'am I can make you another pizza.
EPL: *nods her consent*
Me: I should warn you though it's going to come out the same way. That's just how the cheese cooks.
EPL (this is the point where she goes from being sucky to downright EVIL and bitchy): NO, THAT IS NOT HOW THE CHEESE COOKS!!!!!11
Me: O_o thinking - DO NOT tell me how the cheese cooks, I work here; I have collectively worked at Subway for about seven months now I think I KNOW how the cheese cooks. *says* Okay ma'am well it will be just one moment.
A line of about four people have now built up behind this woman so I run to the back to get my co-worker. She comes and makes the pizza while I start handling the line. Less than a minute after the pizza goes in, co-worker takes the pizza out to show her. Of course the cheese is nice and white but the pizza is clearly not done.
EPL: That's how I want it!
M: ...I can give it to you ma'am but it's not going to be cooked all the way. *she puts it back in, is ordered to take it out less than fifteen seconds later*
We just let her take it after that... We told her again while boxing it that it was still going to be cold, but she didn't seem to care. What else you gonna do?
And one last one for the road--if you are going to come in and order a 44-oz drink and have a one dollar bill and changepurse that you want me to count the change out from, please do not do it at 12:30 PM while we have a line. (Note: 44-oz drink is $2.05 at my store.) Especially when said changepurse is filled with dimes, nickels and pennies and the dimes and nickels are so spare I must dump out the changepurse all over the counter to try to find them.
X-Posted To customers_suck and customerssuck
Until this week.
Now I only have a few sucks, most minor (one really just an annoyance) but I will save the worst for last.
First order of business: credit cards. Please do not shove it in my face as I am still taking my gloves off and putting your sandwich in the bag and I have not even put my number in to pull up the register yet. I will ignore it as I bring up the register and ring up your order, and then I will reach for it.
As far as cash goes--do not EVER play that game where you hold the money out and jerk it back. EVER. Seriously, it makes me want to break something.
And now for the customer-specific sucks!
Okay, so this guy was really a minor annoyance at worst but I seriously thought that I was going to go crazy...
Me: *waving*
ASG: Annoyingly Specific Guy
Me: *rattles off opening spiel, gets bread cut and ready to use* And what kind of sandwich?
ASG: I want the roasted chicken breast--but I want everything seperate.
Me: Okay...
ASG: You can go ahead and wrap the bread up like that, and just put the chicken in the bag. I want it all seperate.
Me: *does this; gets soup bowl for veggies* Okay, so what kind of veggies?
ASG: Lettuce, tomatoes... *I put tomatoes on top of the lettuce in the soup bowl; he gives a huge disgusted sigh* UGH, I want everything SEPERATE.
Me: Oh... so you want the tomatoes and everything seperate as well?
ASG: YES...
Me: *stares at him for a second*
ASG: Could you get rid of those tomatoes please?
Me: *throws them in the trash bin, gets two new and puts them into speciality bag*
ASG: Sorry, but this is for my lunch tomorrow and the other one is for now! *laughs*
Me: *just looks at him*
The rest of the encounter was painless... but seriously, WTF? I get not wanting the meat/veggies on the sandwich because it could get soggy, but WHY could none of the veggies touch exactly?! I had to waste 4 specialty bags on him--and those ain't cheap!
And also--conversation between my co-worker and I:
M: They always have to make it harder than it has to be...
Me: I know right! We could at least have gotten a tip...*
*This is not meant to sound as bad as it does... I realize that we were doing our job, but when you have to waste time while a line grows and make a lot of extra effort than a reward is appreciated. And tips always make my day--they can be fifty cents for all I care, they just make me feel appreciated. So please, tip your sandwich artist!
Now this is the real suck... This woman really ticked me off!
Okay, how many of you have had a Subway pizza, or hell even seen the way mozzerella cheese cooks? It comes out either brown or black, usually black in our toaster oven. Therefore the pizzas we make almost always come out looking burnt--and we have had to deal with shit over this many times. That's fine, I understand if you have a picky child who won't eat anything that looks like it's been burned (hell, I wouldn't have gone near a Subway pizza as a child) but at least most of them are nice about it.
Not this woman.
She has been mostly pleasant until I ring her up and she informs me she wants a pizza (despite my having overheard her talking to her little boy and talking about a pizza and asking "Do you need anything else" and being told no *headdesk*) so with a sigh of resignation (read: my thoughts - I'M DONE YAY NOW I CAN GO CONCENTRATE ON GETTING READY TO CLOSE... Crap, now I have to ring her up and go another two minutes to make her pizza. Great.) I ring her up and prepare the pizza.
So I put the pizza in the oven and stand there until it's done. I pull it out, and the fun begins.
EPL (Evil Pizza Lady)
EPL: That pizza's burned.
Me: No ma'am, that's just the way the cheese cooks.
EPL: No, it's burned.
Me: *sigh* The cheese turns black when it cooks. *to prove point, I cut the pizza in half and stick my finger in the middle--this has become a necessary action now because a good number of pizzas are returned to be heated in the microwave because of not being done in the middle* See, it's not even cooked all the way yet--it's cold in the middle.
EPL: NO IT'S BURNED!" (Very loud, ugly voice)
Me: Well ma'am I can make you another pizza.
EPL: *nods her consent*
Me: I should warn you though it's going to come out the same way. That's just how the cheese cooks.
EPL (this is the point where she goes from being sucky to downright EVIL and bitchy): NO, THAT IS NOT HOW THE CHEESE COOKS!!!!!11
Me: O_o thinking - DO NOT tell me how the cheese cooks, I work here; I have collectively worked at Subway for about seven months now I think I KNOW how the cheese cooks. *says* Okay ma'am well it will be just one moment.
A line of about four people have now built up behind this woman so I run to the back to get my co-worker. She comes and makes the pizza while I start handling the line. Less than a minute after the pizza goes in, co-worker takes the pizza out to show her. Of course the cheese is nice and white but the pizza is clearly not done.
EPL: That's how I want it!
M: ...I can give it to you ma'am but it's not going to be cooked all the way. *she puts it back in, is ordered to take it out less than fifteen seconds later*
We just let her take it after that... We told her again while boxing it that it was still going to be cold, but she didn't seem to care. What else you gonna do?
And one last one for the road--if you are going to come in and order a 44-oz drink and have a one dollar bill and changepurse that you want me to count the change out from, please do not do it at 12:30 PM while we have a line. (Note: 44-oz drink is $2.05 at my store.) Especially when said changepurse is filled with dimes, nickels and pennies and the dimes and nickels are so spare I must dump out the changepurse all over the counter to try to find them.
X-Posted To customers_suck and customerssuck