(no subject)

[scars_of_you]

this weekend was completely uneventful. i rented cry baby and watched that with my mom. i think my dad's starting to worry about me cause for like the past month all i've done on the weekends is rent johnny depp movies and watch them. it's actually kind of funny to me but i love his movies what can i say? anyways i got blown off by val and holly again this weekend so i spent the weekend by myself. anyways easter was good i spent it with my family and one of my mom's friends. im so sick of being alone. i feel so pathetic. can you believe it's been over a year now since i kissed someone? im so sick of falling asleep wishing i'd wake up next to you. it's like the complete opposite of radio by alkaline trio. "waking up all alone, waking up so relieved." anyways i've got an interview on tuesday so i should start working on wednesday if all goes as planned. first pay check is going to go towards buying a plane ticket to go see kat. then after that maybe ill buy a new guitar cause mine sucks horribly. and then i want to get a bass guitar and a surfboard. but then on top of that if all goes well with the first trip to see kat ill want to go see her again so it all depends on how much i make i guess. anyways. spencer woke me up caressing my head yesterday and wanted me to go see one am radio and some instrumental band but my mom wouldn't let me. it's been nearly a week since i last talked to kat and i dont know how i've managed. it use to kill me to not talk to her for a day or two days. im just really kind of sick of the phone. i've been on the phone with somebody everynight for the past 9 months or so and ive just kind of been avoiding it. i've had a lot of time to think this weekend and im not so sure it was a good thing or not. it's made me think about things, about what i want, about what i want for my future and i wish i could just take my life one day at a time but ive gotten into this mind set of planning my future and i want it to stop. anyways this is what's been on my mind this weekend. kat i dont know if ill call tonight or not, ill try to though. i've missed you...
<3 seth