i'm getting good at this jealousy thing
i really am. i get jealous just as often, but instead of it lasting weeks until I explode, it only lasts about a day and then I'm over it until the next weird thing happens. horray for progress. i was shootin for not being jealous at all, but i'll take what i can get. my b-day was ok. got lots of calls from lots of friends, chris even texted me happy birthday which was nice. i thought about asking him out for a bday drink, but then i thought it probably wasn't appropriate since i wouldn't like it if matt went out with one of his old gals. but then i went on the computer and stupid me, looked at the history, and shue enough matt had been lookin at some cute girl's myspace profile and added her to his friends, and i'd never seen or heard of her before, so i got all pissed and offended thinkin, gee, even on my brithday he's up and poking around where he shouldn't oughtta be pokin first thing in the morning!
so i said fuck it, i'm calling chris and asking him out for a bday drink.
he had to work, but it made me feel better just to have asked. and then, like i said, in a matter of hours i was more or less over it. and then i came home from school and matt had beat me home, and when i opened the door he had a fire going and a bottle of my fav champange chilling in my mixer bowl on the coffee table next to a little piece of cake with a candle burning in it.
i melted faster than the candle.
2nd most romantic birthday surprise. lucien still wins tho. i dont think anything will ever top my 19th with him, i have to say.
so we sat on the couch for a moment and soaked it in, and then he went right back to fucking around on the computer. i think he was lookin for xmas presents and checking ebay tho. i suggested he erase the history whenever he goes online for my sake. we'll see if he does. hehe.
he got all weird at the end of the hockey game tho. like, 3 mins before the game ended he says "well, i'm going to bed." and it was only like quarter to 10. i was surprised and asked if he was tired, and he says "no, but what else is there to do? if i sit up and watch something then i'm gonna stay up too late, and i might as well watch tv in bed" and he was really short and snappy at me for asking. it came outta nowhere. everything was fine and normal all night until right then. i still can't figure out what was up. and then he just got up, grabbed his pillow and went in the room and shut the door. no goodnight, no hug, no kiss, no nothin. weird.
so i tried to stay up and sew for a while, but i got so freaked out that i did something to piss him off i couldn't concentrate. he does this whenever something's wrong...goes to bed without saying anything, and if i ask him if there's anything wrong (which i did several times) he'll tell me nothing's wrong and then he'll just go in there and go to sleep, and the next day he'll call and tell me to move out or something. so i was terrified this was going o happen again, and i could hardly sleep, but then when he got up this morning he reset his alarm and snuggled with me for a while, and he kissed me goodbye twice and said happy birthday again, and everything was just like normal again. WEIRD. i don't get it.i thought maybe he was a little pissed that i kept answering my phone every time somebody called to wish me a happy one...i got 3 or 4 calls in the span of only a few hours which i suppose could be annoying, but it was my sister, my stepdad, my grandpa, and such, come on. so i don't know. i asked him about it when he called from work today, but he insisted that nothing was wrong and that he was just tired. in fact, he said he was feeling tired so he thought he should get to sleep quick before it wore off because he didn't want to have trouble getting to sleep later...but last night he told me he wasn't tired. i didn't point out the contradiction. let sleeping dogs lie, that's what i say.
making a shirt today. its pretty rad. got an interview at Starbucks Saturday...yea, i think i'm going back. there's something about it i miss. maybe it's just the steady paycheck and tips. hehe.
so i said fuck it, i'm calling chris and asking him out for a bday drink.
he had to work, but it made me feel better just to have asked. and then, like i said, in a matter of hours i was more or less over it. and then i came home from school and matt had beat me home, and when i opened the door he had a fire going and a bottle of my fav champange chilling in my mixer bowl on the coffee table next to a little piece of cake with a candle burning in it.
i melted faster than the candle.
2nd most romantic birthday surprise. lucien still wins tho. i dont think anything will ever top my 19th with him, i have to say.
so we sat on the couch for a moment and soaked it in, and then he went right back to fucking around on the computer. i think he was lookin for xmas presents and checking ebay tho. i suggested he erase the history whenever he goes online for my sake. we'll see if he does. hehe.
he got all weird at the end of the hockey game tho. like, 3 mins before the game ended he says "well, i'm going to bed." and it was only like quarter to 10. i was surprised and asked if he was tired, and he says "no, but what else is there to do? if i sit up and watch something then i'm gonna stay up too late, and i might as well watch tv in bed" and he was really short and snappy at me for asking. it came outta nowhere. everything was fine and normal all night until right then. i still can't figure out what was up. and then he just got up, grabbed his pillow and went in the room and shut the door. no goodnight, no hug, no kiss, no nothin. weird.
so i tried to stay up and sew for a while, but i got so freaked out that i did something to piss him off i couldn't concentrate. he does this whenever something's wrong...goes to bed without saying anything, and if i ask him if there's anything wrong (which i did several times) he'll tell me nothing's wrong and then he'll just go in there and go to sleep, and the next day he'll call and tell me to move out or something. so i was terrified this was going o happen again, and i could hardly sleep, but then when he got up this morning he reset his alarm and snuggled with me for a while, and he kissed me goodbye twice and said happy birthday again, and everything was just like normal again. WEIRD. i don't get it.i thought maybe he was a little pissed that i kept answering my phone every time somebody called to wish me a happy one...i got 3 or 4 calls in the span of only a few hours which i suppose could be annoying, but it was my sister, my stepdad, my grandpa, and such, come on. so i don't know. i asked him about it when he called from work today, but he insisted that nothing was wrong and that he was just tired. in fact, he said he was feeling tired so he thought he should get to sleep quick before it wore off because he didn't want to have trouble getting to sleep later...but last night he told me he wasn't tired. i didn't point out the contradiction. let sleeping dogs lie, that's what i say.
making a shirt today. its pretty rad. got an interview at Starbucks Saturday...yea, i think i'm going back. there's something about it i miss. maybe it's just the steady paycheck and tips. hehe.