(no subject)
i'm in that mode again where i just stop caring and i hate it. i'm fake and the one person in the whole world that i wish cared ignores me. i'm having an out of body experience as i realize how little i can do about my situation. they say fear paralizes, well i'm officially disabled. unable to say anything to the one person i wish above all else would just talk to me. call me up sometime just to see how i am. just anyone. sometimes i feel like its so easy for everyone to bring their problems to me but when i hav a problem no one seems to care, well not that i just can't say wat i feel to someone's face. i feel like an observer in my own life, like i know wat i wanna do but i can't get my body to do it. i want to be so much more than i am. i wanna feel again, anything even pain would be better then the lack of anything i've felt lately.
that's the thing that scares me the most that maybe this feeling is going to last forever. i mean i come in and out of the feeling, but i'm afraid one day i'm just gunna stay like this, i fear that so much. i'm fucked up enough.
that's the thing that scares me the most that maybe this feeling is going to last forever. i mean i come in and out of the feeling, but i'm afraid one day i'm just gunna stay like this, i fear that so much. i'm fucked up enough.