Doohickey Monday
Tuna took a moment to just be relieved to have the trailer all to herself.
The relief was soon overwritten by the driving need in her loins to find the closest big eared man and copulate like crazy. A quick trip around the trailer park found impetuous_one's Chinless Wonder.
The wooing occurred in record time, sealing the deal with a not-so perfect face smashing, nose smooshing first kiss.
Chinless: I can has copulation?
Yes. Yes you can.
With a bun in the oven and not enough space or cash to support a lazy arse stay at home husband, Tuna kicked Chinless out of her trailer.
To give birth all by herself to a little girl she decided to call Bridget.
Bridget was an adorable child with a cute little monkey face and ears made for pulling.
Despite her 1 nice point she wanted nothing more than her mother’s attention.
As she grew older, she became quieter and more inclined to spend her days inside reading. Mostly through lack of anything else to do.
All too soon there were birthdays to be had. By then the trailer had grown way, way too small and restrictive, it was time to move on to greener pastures.
(first eye default change of this part. And OMG, no. Just no.)
Bridget: A genuine log cabin? How’d you swing this, mom? Cause we sure don’t have the money for this kind of rent.
Tuna: Don’t worry about it. I know someone who knows someone.
Bridget: In exchange for sexual favors?
Tuna: Of course not, how could you even think such a thing? I will take away those books if you don’t watch it.
Bridget: Hey, mom? Did you notice the part where we have no bathroom?
Tuna: We, er, can put up a divider in front of the shitter?
Bridget: …
Tuna: Fine, I’ll find us something else.
(In my defense, it was my first time building an apartment. You can’t expect it to go perfectly every time, right?)
Which was how they came to live in a funny little western community full of converted barns.
(Which would have been better if I had remembered to lay down some dirt over the grass. *is lame* Sidenote, this here is one of the Farwest community lots from Sims Design Ave that I ripped to pieces and stitched back together. It was only after I moved them in that I noticed that the wallpaper that came with the Farwest lots are not actually seamless and by then it was too late and I can’t really be bothered to redo it all. Please to be ignoring the wood grain continuity errors, mkay?)
Tuna: What do you think? Twice the size of the trailer and it comes kind of, sort of furnished.
Bridget: Meh, it’s okay, I guess. At least the bathroom has a door this time.
Tuna: You have your own room.
Bridget: ASDFHJKL!
So perhaps living with the cowboy wannabees wouldn’t be that bad. There was a lot Bridget would be willing to overlook to not have to share a bed with her mother who suffers from a little flatulence problem they would never speak of during the day. Besides, her door locked!
The Ranch had it’s very own dance instructor. Perhaps not the kind one would expect, but it was free entertainment.
(I would come to regret adding the breakdancer very very soon. He never sleeps! It’s downright unnatural)
Bridget was not exactly impressed by this.
(second eye change. Not sure how long it will last, but for now it’s okay.)
In fact, she thought she could do much better and give the instructor a lesson or two. She was wrong.
No matter, though, she thought break dancing was rather silly anyway. Wasn’t there supposed to be some sort of spinning on the floor?
Tuna discovered an interest in fishing, even though she wasn’t very good at it.
It still put some sparkly new dishes on the table.
Tuna: Marry a rich man and then wait for him to croak! That is the only way out of this life where we can’t even afford carpeting.
The Ranch provided much more peace and quiet than the trailer park ever had. Not used to the lack of drunken brawling, Bridget found it difficult to sleep. She spent these dark hours painting. Literally in the dark, they could not afford lights and the only illumination was the street lamp shining through the kitchen window for which they could not afford any drapes.
Save in the darkness, Bridget allowed herself to dream big dreams of one day being a world famous artist. Of having enough money to escape.
Or just having enough money so she could buy a car and not have to fucking walk to school every fucking day.
Bridget: Mother, why is there an old boot in the living room/kitchen/dining room?
Tuna: I caught it in the pond.
Bridget: And then decided to stuff and mount it? Sheesh mother, it smells like something died in it.
Tuna: That’s probably the foot I had to take out. It’ll fade.
Escaping from her weird mother and the smell of decomp meets fish scales, Bridget came across the lovely nutmegdealer's Jasminder Landgraab.
Despite her arty and bookish pursuits, Bridget discovered a natural talent for sports. At least for hurling things at people’s heads.
Jasmine on the other hand was not so very sporty.
Bridget made history as the first ever Doohickey to bring home a raport card she was not ashamed to show her mother.
This pleased Tuna enough to be willing to give pointers whenever she found Bridget studying. The pointers weren’t especially great, but every bit helps to raise your child clever enough to fix that leaky shower faucet that Landlord just never gets around to tightening.
As has been said, Bridget enjoys throwing things at people.
Jasminder found this to be a very endearing quality.
(And this will be the last close of up of her ever, she scares the fuck out of me, she wants to eat my face)
Even though she was still young and they knew nothing could happen for a couple of years more, Bridget and Jasminder found a deep, meaningful love.
Meaningful enough to introduce Jas to mom.
Tuna’s obsession with fish grew and grew. It was as if she found a special connection with nature, or at least the part of it that was squishy enough to stick a pin through and nail it to the wall.
A frequent sight around The Ranch was Igor, fast asleep on his feet and smelling worse than Tuna’s hobby.
(I can’t find who Igor belongs to :( If he’s yours, please let me know so I can give proper credit)
Pepé Le Pew!
(ILU, Pepé, you are adorable, but please stop stinking everyone up. Kthxbai. *coos over the cute little pink nose)
With Tuna as a mother, it was no wonder that Bridget was not the most well adjusted half alien on the block.
Bridget: And then mom said I have to marry someone rich and wait for them to die. But what if she tries to mount them on the wall after they pass away?
The idea of nailing corpses to cabin walls made the social bunny sad.
But not sad enough to forgo engaging in synchronized disapproval.
Bridget: Ooh, soft and squishy.
Pervy Landlord: You could have a cabin of your own, little girl. I’ll wave the rent as long as you provide the same favors as your mother does.
Bridget: The only time I will ever sleep with you is if a meteor is hurling towards earth and block out all the stars in the sky.
Sheesh, desperate much, Pervy Landlord?
(HAHA! First time getting zits with this alien default. Fungal growth on her face!)
Bridget escaped the Landlord’s attentions by hiding up in the kiddies lookout tower, knowing his bad back would never allow him to climb the ladder after her.
And while her daughter was dodging pervy old buggers, Tuna experienced the joys of a self induced trance.
<
Notes:
Yay for bigger house! Of course, they don’t have money to actually furnish it, but still. Wonder how bad it’s gonna get what with no Doohickey ever holding down a job. Wonder if you can dig up apartment terrain. Hmm.
Also, the Doohickeys have become fun to play again. We had a good time together yesterday and the cabin hasn’t started crashing my game yet.