army boy

[scarltbegonia3]

i guess i just thought you were so amazing because you hadn't had the chance to disappoint me. and with you leaving, i kind of hoped that chance wouldn't come around. but then i put myself out there and gave it a shot ... only to be disppointed.
the thing is i don't know if i believe it, because i have a really hard time trusting people.
i just wanted to spend some time ... you & me. not sitting at the bar.
you leave in less than a week.
who knows when i'll see you again, or even talk to you again.

i let myself get my hopes up.
it hurts more this way.
i really thought you were worth it.

unfortunately there is still a part of me that hopes there is something there.

to write a letter or not write a letter?
that's tonights question.

if i let you leave, under the circumstances for which you're leaving ..... then i know i'll regret not saying the things i wanted to say.
but at the same time ... is it worth even formulating these thoughts into words? bringing them into reality and sharing them with you? knowing that you're leaving so soon.
and not coming back until at least august.

nothing works for me.
i knew this wouldn't.
why did i bother?