if we had but world enough, and time
I fail at many important things today, including being a mod. But I did write porn.
title: If We Had but World Enough, and Time
with: Stella Bonasera/Martha Jones
rated: NC-17
herein: It’s beautiful; it’s hers to see. It’s impossible.
disclaim: I only own the dvds; everything belongs to either Zuiker, CBS, et al or Davies and some folks at the BBC
note: for stellaluna-, just because.
Let us roll all our strength and all
Our sweetness up into one ball,
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life:
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.
(Marvell, “To His Coy Mistress”)
The last forty-eight hours have suddenly caught up to Stella. She stands in the open doorway of the TARDIS and looks out over the valley, at the starry sky above. Her chest feels tight. Behind her, over by the controls, Mac is engaging the Doctor in a complex game of twenty questions. The rhythm of their voices is soothing.
“Time is much more squishy than people realize,” the Doctor says.
“Squishy?” Mac asks. Stella recognizes the tone in his voice because it’s most often directed at her. Mac doesn’t know whether to laugh or scowl.
“Yes, squishy.” There’s a high pitched clicking followed by a metallic bang. The Doctor is making a few repairs to the TARDIS. A minor problem, he says. Stella can’t turn away from the valley, which is blue in the double moonlight. The stars above are multicolored, like Christmas lights. She doesn’t know why they’re like that. She can’t begin to guess why, but it’s beautiful. She hears Mac mutter something, then the Doctor’s laugh.
“Doctor, how long are we going to be here?” Martha asks.
“No more than a couple hours,” he says. “Three, maybe four at the most.”
The last forty-eight hours have caught up to Stella, and Martha’s voice makes her heart break. It’s been forty-eight hours since Stella couldn’t identify the trace from a crime scene because it was alien bodily fluids. Meteors flicker across the sky, and Stella wants to sink to her knees and sob because it’s so beautiful. She’d listened to a whole, healthy man scream as he melted into a pool of sludge. She’d hunted down a venomous blattbaugh and its Korloid master, with Martha at her side. She’d trusted Martha within minutes of meeting her, and it had almost certainly saved both their lives.
Now she’s standing in a time machine parked on a planet halfway across the galaxy. She bites her lip. She squeezes her eyes shut for a minute, then looks up at the sky again. It’s beautiful; it’s hers to see. It’s impossible. Stella had only been able to turn to Mac near the end, and she is so grateful not to be alone in this.
“Time is both unstable and nonlinear,” Mac says.
Stella is grateful, even if Mac is preoccupied at the moment.
“Yes,” the Doctor says. A bright blue star winks out. “Well, close enough.”
Martha slips her hand into Stella’s. Stella sucks in a breath and looks over at her, surprised. She hadn’t heard Martha come over.
“Amazing, isn’t it?” Martha smiles gently, and Stella’s throat thickens. Her eyes are hot, and she has to take a deep breath before she can speak.
“It is.” The weight on her chest lightens just a little. “It really is.”
Martha turns toward Mac and the Doctor. “We’re going to take a little walk, okay?”
“Have fun,” the Doctor says, barely pausing to look up.
Stella meets Mac’s eyes for a moment, and he waves. The grin on his face is skeptical, but he looks happy.
Martha squeezes Stella’s hand and leads her out of the TARDIS. The ground is springy, almost spongy beneath their feet. They walk hand in hand down the hill. The moons are bright enough that they can easily see.
“The Doctor said there are no major predators on this continent.” Martha glances at Stella, and Stella finds herself torn between watching the sky and watching Martha. “The Juramens are pastoral, and their nearest settlement is about a hundred kilometers that way.” Martha points to the left, toward the course of a river curving through the hills.
“Where was I when he said that?” Stella raises her eyes. The sky seems to be getting lighter. She’s not sure if it’s nearing dawn or what.
“You were staring out at all of this.” Martha squeezes her hand again. “I thought you might have zoned out for a little while.”
“It’s a lot to take in,” Stella says.
“It’s been a long two days.” Martha laughs a little. “Hunting down renegade aliens will take it out of you.”
Stella stops waking and loosens her grip on Martha’s hand. Martha lets go, but steps in front of her so they’re face to face. Her eyes are kind in the moonlight. Stella looks up at the sky in time to see purple bloom across it followed by streaks of green, blue, shifting bars of light.
“It’s like the aurora borealis,” Martha says, hushed.
“It’s so big.” Stella’s voice sounds strange to herself. She feels small and hollow.
“It is.”
“We have all the time in the universe in front of us. Literally.” Stella draws a shaky breath. “And it’s not enough.”
“No, it isn’t,” Martha whispers. “Come here.”
Stella moves into the circle of Martha’s arms. Martha is warm and smells like the earth. Her hands stroke up and down Stella’s back. Stella shudders and presses closer, hides her face in the crook of Martha’s neck.
“I know,” Martha says, her lips brushing Stella’s ear. “Believe me, I know.”
Stella hangs on until she feels grounded again. Her hands fit nicely against the small of Martha’s back. She starts to pull away from Martha, reluctant to let go, and Martha cups her face.
Stella leans forward until her foreheads touch, and Martha closes her eyes. “Is it always like this?” Stella asks, lips brushing against Martha’s cheek. “Every day, do you fall a little more in love with the universe?”
Martha’s hands slide down to Stella’s waist. “Yes,” she says. Her eyes stay closed, but her face is relaxed.
Stella tilts her head and kisses the corner of Martha’s mouth. Martha sighs, and Stella kisses her again, softly.
Martha’s eyes flicker open. “Can we lie down?” she asks.
Stella nods. The grass is strange and soft like feathers. They stretch out beside each other and watch lights cascade across the sky. Stella had seen the way Martha looks at the Doctor and the way the Doctor hadn’t allowed himself to look back. Martha settles in close to Stella’s body. Stella can feel her heart beat everywhere, her pulse in time to the shifting lights above, and she turns Martha’s head to kiss her full on the mouth. Martha yields, and Stella hooks an arm around Martha’s neck, drawing her closer. Stella slides her palm beneath Martha’s shirt, stroking the small of her back again, and Martha gasps when Stella urges her still closer.
They roll, Martha settling on top. Stella can feel Martha’s heartbeat now that they’re chest to chest. The weight is good. It makes the last couple days seem real. Stella fumbles with Martha’s clothes, wanting to touch her everywhere. Martha makes startled little noises and takes over the kiss, stroking her tongue into Stella’s mouth.
Martha sits up suddenly to tear at the fastening of Stella’s pants. The lights in the sky seem to wreath her in purple. Stella slides her hands up Martha’s waist. Martha’s hands are shaking a little. Stella knows the feeling.
“Slow down a little,” Stella says.
“No, it’s like you said.” Martha yanks at Stella’s pants, and Stella lifts her hips to help. “There’s never enough time.”
Stella closes her eyes against the fear that rises up in her gut again. That’s what it is, she thinks, fear and awe. She slides her hands higher beneath Martha’s shirt and reaches to unfasten her bra. The ground is cool and soft against Stella’s skin, like a strange shag rug. She doesn’t mind it and strips her clothes as quickly as possible. Martha does the same, and the light gilds her skin. Stella leans forward to taste the hollow of her neck, then trails kisses down to her breast. Martha hums and tangles her hand in Stella’s hair.
They lie back down on the grass, and Stella pulls Martha close again. Martha kisses deeply, sighs into Stella’s mouth. Her skin is warm beneath Stella’s fingers. Stella traces the curves of Martha’s body, and Martha just hangs on, kissing fiercely. Stella lets her hands slide between Martha’s legs, where she is hot and wet. Martha groans and presses them together more firmly. She grasps the back of Stella’s thigh, and Stella wraps a leg around her.
Martha shifts, and Stella twines with her. They kiss, long, lush swipes of the tongue. Stella makes a broken noise and keeps her eyes open when Martha strokes her fingers in earnest between Stella’s legs. Stella arches into the touch, straining in Martha’s arms. Martha’s fingers are clever, and she sucks on Stella’s neck. Stella’s breath comes in hard gasps. Her head is spinning when she finally comes, trembling, waves of it rolling over her. She grips Martha’s shoulder hard enough to leave bruises.
Stella wraps her arms around Martha, listening to both their heartbeats as she comes down. When she’s caught her breath, she rolls Martha onto her back. She wants to know everything because she’s never going to get this moment again.
Martha’s skin is smooth and tastes clean. Stella sucks on Martha’s collarbone for a moment before teasing her nipples to hardness with feather-light touches. Martha is almost silent, making breathless little moans. Stella dips her tongue in Martha’s navel, then bites her hip. Martha gasps, petting Stella’s head. Stella’s fingers begin to tease, stroking through Martha’s pubic hair. They’re never going to get this moment back, so Stella sucks and worries the skin on Martha’s hip. She wants to leave a reminder. She wants something that will carry the moment on just a little while longer.
When Stella’s satisfied, she nips her way down Martha’s pubic bone and presses her mouth between Martha’s legs. Martha groans and rolls her hips. She tastes rich and alive. Stella licks firmly, past the stage of teasing. She spreads a hand across Martha’s pelvis, feeling the muscles twitch and tighten. Martha lets go and starts to make throaty moans. Her hands tighten in Stella’s hair. Stella slips a finger inside, and Martha is hot and slick, open and turned on. She gasps. Stella slips a second finger in, feeling for the right place to press. She rolls her tongue against Martha’s clit, and Martha comes silently, her whole body going tight under Stella’s touch.
After, they dress and lie together for a little while, watching the stars and the moons, the lights as they wheel across the sky.
“Thank you,” Stella says suddenly. She doesn’t mean for the sex. “For showing me.” She waves her hand up at the sky and hopes Martha gets it.
“Well, it isn’t my TARDIS,” Martha says and laughs, sounding young and unbeatable.
“But you trusted me.” Stella threads their fingers together. “Back at the beginning.” Martha could’ve lied; it would’ve been easier for her. She could have gone about hunting the venomous blattbaugh without leaving Stella a clue, but she’d told the truth instead. She’d sounded like a loon, but she’d told the truth and let Stella find her own way.
“You’re welcome,” Martha says.
title: If We Had but World Enough, and Time
with: Stella Bonasera/Martha Jones
rated: NC-17
herein: It’s beautiful; it’s hers to see. It’s impossible.
disclaim: I only own the dvds; everything belongs to either Zuiker, CBS, et al or Davies and some folks at the BBC
note: for stellaluna-, just because.
Let us roll all our strength and all
Our sweetness up into one ball,
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life:
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.
(Marvell, “To His Coy Mistress”)
The last forty-eight hours have suddenly caught up to Stella. She stands in the open doorway of the TARDIS and looks out over the valley, at the starry sky above. Her chest feels tight. Behind her, over by the controls, Mac is engaging the Doctor in a complex game of twenty questions. The rhythm of their voices is soothing.
“Time is much more squishy than people realize,” the Doctor says.
“Squishy?” Mac asks. Stella recognizes the tone in his voice because it’s most often directed at her. Mac doesn’t know whether to laugh or scowl.
“Yes, squishy.” There’s a high pitched clicking followed by a metallic bang. The Doctor is making a few repairs to the TARDIS. A minor problem, he says. Stella can’t turn away from the valley, which is blue in the double moonlight. The stars above are multicolored, like Christmas lights. She doesn’t know why they’re like that. She can’t begin to guess why, but it’s beautiful. She hears Mac mutter something, then the Doctor’s laugh.
“Doctor, how long are we going to be here?” Martha asks.
“No more than a couple hours,” he says. “Three, maybe four at the most.”
The last forty-eight hours have caught up to Stella, and Martha’s voice makes her heart break. It’s been forty-eight hours since Stella couldn’t identify the trace from a crime scene because it was alien bodily fluids. Meteors flicker across the sky, and Stella wants to sink to her knees and sob because it’s so beautiful. She’d listened to a whole, healthy man scream as he melted into a pool of sludge. She’d hunted down a venomous blattbaugh and its Korloid master, with Martha at her side. She’d trusted Martha within minutes of meeting her, and it had almost certainly saved both their lives.
Now she’s standing in a time machine parked on a planet halfway across the galaxy. She bites her lip. She squeezes her eyes shut for a minute, then looks up at the sky again. It’s beautiful; it’s hers to see. It’s impossible. Stella had only been able to turn to Mac near the end, and she is so grateful not to be alone in this.
“Time is both unstable and nonlinear,” Mac says.
Stella is grateful, even if Mac is preoccupied at the moment.
“Yes,” the Doctor says. A bright blue star winks out. “Well, close enough.”
Martha slips her hand into Stella’s. Stella sucks in a breath and looks over at her, surprised. She hadn’t heard Martha come over.
“Amazing, isn’t it?” Martha smiles gently, and Stella’s throat thickens. Her eyes are hot, and she has to take a deep breath before she can speak.
“It is.” The weight on her chest lightens just a little. “It really is.”
Martha turns toward Mac and the Doctor. “We’re going to take a little walk, okay?”
“Have fun,” the Doctor says, barely pausing to look up.
Stella meets Mac’s eyes for a moment, and he waves. The grin on his face is skeptical, but he looks happy.
Martha squeezes Stella’s hand and leads her out of the TARDIS. The ground is springy, almost spongy beneath their feet. They walk hand in hand down the hill. The moons are bright enough that they can easily see.
“The Doctor said there are no major predators on this continent.” Martha glances at Stella, and Stella finds herself torn between watching the sky and watching Martha. “The Juramens are pastoral, and their nearest settlement is about a hundred kilometers that way.” Martha points to the left, toward the course of a river curving through the hills.
“Where was I when he said that?” Stella raises her eyes. The sky seems to be getting lighter. She’s not sure if it’s nearing dawn or what.
“You were staring out at all of this.” Martha squeezes her hand again. “I thought you might have zoned out for a little while.”
“It’s a lot to take in,” Stella says.
“It’s been a long two days.” Martha laughs a little. “Hunting down renegade aliens will take it out of you.”
Stella stops waking and loosens her grip on Martha’s hand. Martha lets go, but steps in front of her so they’re face to face. Her eyes are kind in the moonlight. Stella looks up at the sky in time to see purple bloom across it followed by streaks of green, blue, shifting bars of light.
“It’s like the aurora borealis,” Martha says, hushed.
“It’s so big.” Stella’s voice sounds strange to herself. She feels small and hollow.
“It is.”
“We have all the time in the universe in front of us. Literally.” Stella draws a shaky breath. “And it’s not enough.”
“No, it isn’t,” Martha whispers. “Come here.”
Stella moves into the circle of Martha’s arms. Martha is warm and smells like the earth. Her hands stroke up and down Stella’s back. Stella shudders and presses closer, hides her face in the crook of Martha’s neck.
“I know,” Martha says, her lips brushing Stella’s ear. “Believe me, I know.”
Stella hangs on until she feels grounded again. Her hands fit nicely against the small of Martha’s back. She starts to pull away from Martha, reluctant to let go, and Martha cups her face.
Stella leans forward until her foreheads touch, and Martha closes her eyes. “Is it always like this?” Stella asks, lips brushing against Martha’s cheek. “Every day, do you fall a little more in love with the universe?”
Martha’s hands slide down to Stella’s waist. “Yes,” she says. Her eyes stay closed, but her face is relaxed.
Stella tilts her head and kisses the corner of Martha’s mouth. Martha sighs, and Stella kisses her again, softly.
Martha’s eyes flicker open. “Can we lie down?” she asks.
Stella nods. The grass is strange and soft like feathers. They stretch out beside each other and watch lights cascade across the sky. Stella had seen the way Martha looks at the Doctor and the way the Doctor hadn’t allowed himself to look back. Martha settles in close to Stella’s body. Stella can feel her heart beat everywhere, her pulse in time to the shifting lights above, and she turns Martha’s head to kiss her full on the mouth. Martha yields, and Stella hooks an arm around Martha’s neck, drawing her closer. Stella slides her palm beneath Martha’s shirt, stroking the small of her back again, and Martha gasps when Stella urges her still closer.
They roll, Martha settling on top. Stella can feel Martha’s heartbeat now that they’re chest to chest. The weight is good. It makes the last couple days seem real. Stella fumbles with Martha’s clothes, wanting to touch her everywhere. Martha makes startled little noises and takes over the kiss, stroking her tongue into Stella’s mouth.
Martha sits up suddenly to tear at the fastening of Stella’s pants. The lights in the sky seem to wreath her in purple. Stella slides her hands up Martha’s waist. Martha’s hands are shaking a little. Stella knows the feeling.
“Slow down a little,” Stella says.
“No, it’s like you said.” Martha yanks at Stella’s pants, and Stella lifts her hips to help. “There’s never enough time.”
Stella closes her eyes against the fear that rises up in her gut again. That’s what it is, she thinks, fear and awe. She slides her hands higher beneath Martha’s shirt and reaches to unfasten her bra. The ground is cool and soft against Stella’s skin, like a strange shag rug. She doesn’t mind it and strips her clothes as quickly as possible. Martha does the same, and the light gilds her skin. Stella leans forward to taste the hollow of her neck, then trails kisses down to her breast. Martha hums and tangles her hand in Stella’s hair.
They lie back down on the grass, and Stella pulls Martha close again. Martha kisses deeply, sighs into Stella’s mouth. Her skin is warm beneath Stella’s fingers. Stella traces the curves of Martha’s body, and Martha just hangs on, kissing fiercely. Stella lets her hands slide between Martha’s legs, where she is hot and wet. Martha groans and presses them together more firmly. She grasps the back of Stella’s thigh, and Stella wraps a leg around her.
Martha shifts, and Stella twines with her. They kiss, long, lush swipes of the tongue. Stella makes a broken noise and keeps her eyes open when Martha strokes her fingers in earnest between Stella’s legs. Stella arches into the touch, straining in Martha’s arms. Martha’s fingers are clever, and she sucks on Stella’s neck. Stella’s breath comes in hard gasps. Her head is spinning when she finally comes, trembling, waves of it rolling over her. She grips Martha’s shoulder hard enough to leave bruises.
Stella wraps her arms around Martha, listening to both their heartbeats as she comes down. When she’s caught her breath, she rolls Martha onto her back. She wants to know everything because she’s never going to get this moment again.
Martha’s skin is smooth and tastes clean. Stella sucks on Martha’s collarbone for a moment before teasing her nipples to hardness with feather-light touches. Martha is almost silent, making breathless little moans. Stella dips her tongue in Martha’s navel, then bites her hip. Martha gasps, petting Stella’s head. Stella’s fingers begin to tease, stroking through Martha’s pubic hair. They’re never going to get this moment back, so Stella sucks and worries the skin on Martha’s hip. She wants to leave a reminder. She wants something that will carry the moment on just a little while longer.
When Stella’s satisfied, she nips her way down Martha’s pubic bone and presses her mouth between Martha’s legs. Martha groans and rolls her hips. She tastes rich and alive. Stella licks firmly, past the stage of teasing. She spreads a hand across Martha’s pelvis, feeling the muscles twitch and tighten. Martha lets go and starts to make throaty moans. Her hands tighten in Stella’s hair. Stella slips a finger inside, and Martha is hot and slick, open and turned on. She gasps. Stella slips a second finger in, feeling for the right place to press. She rolls her tongue against Martha’s clit, and Martha comes silently, her whole body going tight under Stella’s touch.
After, they dress and lie together for a little while, watching the stars and the moons, the lights as they wheel across the sky.
“Thank you,” Stella says suddenly. She doesn’t mean for the sex. “For showing me.” She waves her hand up at the sky and hopes Martha gets it.
“Well, it isn’t my TARDIS,” Martha says and laughs, sounding young and unbeatable.
“But you trusted me.” Stella threads their fingers together. “Back at the beginning.” Martha could’ve lied; it would’ve been easier for her. She could have gone about hunting the venomous blattbaugh without leaving Stella a clue, but she’d told the truth instead. She’d sounded like a loon, but she’d told the truth and let Stella find her own way.
“You’re welcome,” Martha says.