Five Things for a Wet Sunday Morning
Exercise: A friend of mine who is a dedicated runner says that she runs in the rain because she has to run, and that rain shouldn't stop me from getting out to run, either. We won't, after all, melt. This last point is most assuredly true. It does not, however, make a compelling argument for me to don my workout clothes and go get drenched. I need to find a gym solution to this problem, because if getting drenched is a nonstarter for me (really and truly, I don't like getting caught in the rain, at least not in workout clothes), then living in Seattle means my not working out in winter. Which will not help me achieve my weight-loss goal, and the weight-loss goal is the priority.
Holiday shopping: In other news, because I'll be traveling later this month, I got more than half my holiday shopping done before Thanksgiving. I left the toughest gifts until now (by which I mean I left shopping and/or crafting for those tough-to-buy-for folks until now). I came up with a couple of solutions for gifts yesterday, but I need to make a couple of excursions to get the bits required for execution of same. That'll be this morning, I expect.
Cat: Sophie was a clingy companion yesterday, and based on this morning's behavior (she started this morning folded up at my feet, and now she's curled up on the kitchen table between me and the computer, purring away), today may be the same. I keep thinking about that cat I saw at PAWS Cat City, not because I liked him so very much as because I worry that Sophie is bored and lonely despite my best efforts. I'm not particularly wanting another cat, honestly. After losing Spanky, I find myself woeful about the idea of going through that kind of loss not one more time but twice. I suppose that's a little like not dating because one fears another break-up (and that never stopped me). I dunno. I do know that I shouldn't bring another cat into the house unless I'm completely committed to the idea and right now I can't say that with complete conviction. I don't want to fret about Sophie, but she's my girl and I want her to be content. I'll figure it out. Eventually.
Job Hunt: I've got a recruiter trying to convince me to allow her to submit me for a job at a company I'm not entirely happy about applying to. I think that sometime today or early tomorrow, I'm going to write her and tell her that I really don't want to be submitted. The kind of anxiety produced by the thought of working at the company in question is an argument against it all by itself. I need to trust my gut. I want to work, but I don't want to work so badly that I'm willing to make myself sick. There will be other opportunities.
Unemployment and Its Discontents: The hardest thing about unemployment, for me, is the tightened financial circumstances and the anxiety they produce. I have a cushion, but it's not one I want to touch and so, when I'm unemployed, I pretend it isn't there. And then it's stress-stress-stress. This serves to create in me a sensation of being overwhelmed and a little freaked out. I play games with myself: how many days can I go without spending a dime? How many days can I go without leaving the house and therefore not spending a dime? How many days does it take me to go completely stir-crazy? How many days before it feels weird to leave the house and then feel a little agoraphobic when I do? It's not pretty, and it's a self-perpetuating, ultimately self-destructive pattern. Since I have a specific plan to leave the house and spend money today, the clock will reset itself tonight and then I begin again. Ugh. And so I hope for a job....
Holiday shopping: In other news, because I'll be traveling later this month, I got more than half my holiday shopping done before Thanksgiving. I left the toughest gifts until now (by which I mean I left shopping and/or crafting for those tough-to-buy-for folks until now). I came up with a couple of solutions for gifts yesterday, but I need to make a couple of excursions to get the bits required for execution of same. That'll be this morning, I expect.
Cat: Sophie was a clingy companion yesterday, and based on this morning's behavior (she started this morning folded up at my feet, and now she's curled up on the kitchen table between me and the computer, purring away), today may be the same. I keep thinking about that cat I saw at PAWS Cat City, not because I liked him so very much as because I worry that Sophie is bored and lonely despite my best efforts. I'm not particularly wanting another cat, honestly. After losing Spanky, I find myself woeful about the idea of going through that kind of loss not one more time but twice. I suppose that's a little like not dating because one fears another break-up (and that never stopped me). I dunno. I do know that I shouldn't bring another cat into the house unless I'm completely committed to the idea and right now I can't say that with complete conviction. I don't want to fret about Sophie, but she's my girl and I want her to be content. I'll figure it out. Eventually.
Job Hunt: I've got a recruiter trying to convince me to allow her to submit me for a job at a company I'm not entirely happy about applying to. I think that sometime today or early tomorrow, I'm going to write her and tell her that I really don't want to be submitted. The kind of anxiety produced by the thought of working at the company in question is an argument against it all by itself. I need to trust my gut. I want to work, but I don't want to work so badly that I'm willing to make myself sick. There will be other opportunities.
Unemployment and Its Discontents: The hardest thing about unemployment, for me, is the tightened financial circumstances and the anxiety they produce. I have a cushion, but it's not one I want to touch and so, when I'm unemployed, I pretend it isn't there. And then it's stress-stress-stress. This serves to create in me a sensation of being overwhelmed and a little freaked out. I play games with myself: how many days can I go without spending a dime? How many days can I go without leaving the house and therefore not spending a dime? How many days does it take me to go completely stir-crazy? How many days before it feels weird to leave the house and then feel a little agoraphobic when I do? It's not pretty, and it's a self-perpetuating, ultimately self-destructive pattern. Since I have a specific plan to leave the house and spend money today, the clock will reset itself tonight and then I begin again. Ugh. And so I hope for a job....